We had two showers, both out of state. Per request (yeah, I know, some people think that's rude, sorry) 95% of gifts have been sent to us after being purchased from our registries online. But probably 1/3 of the people who attended our showers- maybe a bit more- did not give gifts. It's been nearly 3 weeks since the first shower and nearly 2 since the other. Do I wait a bit and see if those friends/family members send gifts and then write a thank you? Or send them a thank you now for coming? Really gift or not I would love to thank them for attending- it was great seeing everyone! But I remember when my SIL (we were not on great terms at the time) sent a thank you note to us... to thank us for the card we sent to congratulate them on their elopement. It seemed kind of backhanded like "thanks for getting us nothing." (She had sent a "we eloped" type email with her registry info in it! We didn't feel it was appropriate to give a gift since we weren't invited and we weren't on good terms.) I don't want the note to come off as snarky or backhanded.

I asked twitter and got a big YES but my mom is saying um NO. So I'm conflicted! HELP!