I think I'm on the verge of my second unexpected dr visit in a week due to spotting. I may not have to go in, but I have a feeling my dr will want me to again. I'm only 5 weeks along. Should I tell my boss what's going on? I don't want to seem flaky or her to think I'm lying about unexpected appts.
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I wouldn't! Your medical issues are your business. But if you think you should, go for it!
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Agreed...the only thing you should tell her is that you have an unexpected medical issue that you need to be seen for. If you're not comfortable telling her about it, you don't have to.
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@runnerd: I think 5 weeks is a bit early to tell them.
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I'd wait. I had some spotting in the beginning of my pregnancy. I had a late in the day appointment when it bothered me so much. I didn't tell my boss about it. He just went along with it. With my unexpected appointment, I got a pregnancy confirmation with an internal ultrasound. The next week, I went for my 8 weeks appointment. I didn't tell my boss I was pregnant until I was 13 weeks after that ultrasound. He already suspected, but kept quiet.
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I wouldn't. I would just saw that you have to go to the doctor, if she says you just went, just say they need to re-run some tests.
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@cascademom: yea that's kinda what I've been thinking - if I just stay mum she won't ask, but will probably start to suspect, and while I hate feeling dishonest, I guess there isn't anything wrong with a few weeks of speculation.
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Between weeks 7 and 9 of my pregnancy, I was out SIX TIMES for appointments (though one was for the dentist!). I just told my boss I had an appointment each time and left it at that. I thought for sure that he must've known what was going on, but when I finally DID tell him at 15 weeks, he had no idea!
So my advice is not to tell your boss until you're ready, whether she speculates or not!
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I would only tell your boss if they were someone you would want to tell if something happened. I felt a little flaky too, when I was out for a long appointment, but I ultimately felt more comfortable with the lying than telling early. I didn't tell until after we got the results of the first ultrasound, so about 13 weeks. (last week). She acted like she didn't suspect, but I don't know if she was lying
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@runnerd: I'm the minority, but I work in a super small office and if one person is out, it's a pretty big deal. I was a nervous wreck trying to schedule in appointments in the beginning and for me, it's was better to save myself the anxiety and just tell my immediate supervisor and one co-worker (the one that I'm friendly with and would have to cover for me if I was out). It took a huge weight off of me and they were super helpful & supportive. I asked them not to say anything until 14 weeks when I told everyone and they were great about keeping my little secret.
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@runnerd: In the case of early pregnancy, it's okay not to tell especially if you're worrying about the outcome. I fretted a lot in those early weeks and through most of my pregnancy. Once you've got a confirmation that everything's okay and are past 14 weeks, then I would tell. After I told my boss, I just gave him ann email with all of my upcoming appointments on it. It worked well for us.
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Doctor appointments are personal business, worse case is she asks for verification (aka a doctor's note). I wouldn't tell until you're ready.
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I wouldn't tell until you are ready. Just say you have an unexpected something. Is your boss a male or female?
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I had a lot of spotting during my first trimester, breakthrough bleeding around the time I would get my period and one really scary spotting episode, where I left the office crying. I personally waited to tell my boss till 2nd trimester and just made up excuses for my drs appt. Hang in there and I hope you are okay. Hugs!
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I wouldn't. Don't feel bad, people go to the dr. all the time and it's not always pre-planned. It's still cold and flu season! Honestly I think work should be the last to know unless there's a reason they absolutely have to know early, like if you're exposed to something dangerous to the baby.
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I don't think you're under any obligation to at all. However, I had a similar situation -- bleeding/spotting for 2 weeks between 6-8 weeks pregnant -- and while it wasn't "necessary," it made me feel better to go into the doctor, which resulted in 3 weekly visits. I felt better telling my boss what was going on, but I also work in a very small, close-knit office and my boss has two kids and 100% understands how fragile pregnancies are. I felt like for me personally, I needed to tell her just so somebody would know what was going on with me. And that if something did go wrong, she would know and I'd have that support. Nobody else had to know, and nobody did know until I told the office at 12 weeks. And she was great, and it was a big relief knowing that she knew.
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I think it depends on your relationship with your boss and when you feel ready. I'm close with my boss and told him as soon as we even started seeing the RE because I knew I would have lots of appointments I needed to miss work for. I also told him when it worked and asked him to keep it a secret until we're ready for the rest of the office to know. It has worked out great for me.
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I agree with @marionberry: - it totally depends on your relationship with your boss. If I knew it was going to affect my attendance at work, I'd tell the person that scheduled substitutes and probably my two closest work colleagues, but not my boss... not til we knew everything was all good.
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17 comments