Hellobee Boards

I haven't experienced people purposefully trying to be debbie downers to me, but when my mom friends are complaining about something particularly horrendous sometimes I'll say something like "Hey-- pregnant lady with no way out over here, let's not freak me out more than necessary mmkay?" and usually they laugh it off and tell me its all totally worth it.

I was lucky and didn't have too many of those people. I like @Mae: 's response-- too late, so back off!

The grand canyon belly button comment did make me laugh though-- I had never heard that and my belly button looked SO weird! But I'm only 4 months pp and it already looks back to normal, so fear not

I had the opposite problem - everyone only told me great things or left out bad experiences (especially breast feeding) so when i had a breakdown when my milk wasn't coming in everyone started telling me it was so tough for them and I was like "why didn't you tell me this?!?!" And they said they didn't want to scare me. I much prefer to hear everything - good and bad - so I can be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. I am that crazy person that says "I don't want to scare you and I'm sure it's going to be amazing for you but for me ..." Bc I know I would want to know. Of course this is only to women so ask and are close friends

Eh, I don't really think people are necessarily trying to be a 'debbie downer' in all honestly what they are saying is true. And, if you don't want to hear the truth that's not exactly their problem you know?
That's not meant to be nasty I promise. It's just my point is, they may sound snooty or snarky about it because they do probably 'know it all' or close to it from experience. So, if anything they want to share to get validation that they've survived something, albeit unpleasant but survived nonetheless, that you will be going through.
IMO, I'd say take it all with a grain of salt or just brush it off as harmless.
Being annoyed won't make the comments stop or make them any less true.

Agreed. Which is why I say to all my pregnant friends "I personally find having a baby way more fun than being pregnant!" Which is the truth.

@merbaby14: oh my. I hate justwaiters too! Fwiw, my weight came off at the same rate after my second! Not everyone lives to make everyone else as miserable as them

PREACH

I did, and I hated it! Guess what - I enjoyed pregnancy until past 40 weeks - so pretty much all of it. I always felt beautiful, never had too much pain, and pretty much felt good or at least ok the whole time.

This happens! It might even happen to you! But regardless, I'm not going to rain all over your parade by JUST WAIT-ing you. So rude!

Ugh I was so sick of the "just wait" comments. I just tried to ignore them. The other thing I hated was "you should sleep now" type comments. I always make a point of telling pregnant women how wonderful it is being a mom, and they always seem surprised and appreciative. It is!!!

The only time I'm tempted to give "just you wait" like comments is when ftms are totally delusional and/or making know it all comments. Other people might just be giving you a heads up to enjoy this time because life is about to change more than a lot if parents to be imagine and thats normal. (of course it depends on the baby you get and your lifestyle too...) And others are purposely being a pain. In any of the above cases I don't think it's worth an argument you really can't "win." Just keep moving on and know that you are in an amazing stage of life and despite the fact that there seem to be TONS of know it all moms out there, we are all the same, just learning as we go!

I agree. I also hate the "they grow up so fast" type of comments. For one, it's been said.....4 million times. For two, I'm just trying to enjoy the moment with DD.

@shellio: As someone with some 3rd tri insomnia, the get your sleepers make me want to throat punch them. I WOULD IF I COULD. Grrr.

"just you wait" people are going to have a comeback from me that'll make them feel horrible. I haven't had any, yet, because I think everyone knows better this time around!

HATE!

Not helpful: "Oh, haha, you'll never sleep again!"
Helpful: "The sleep deprivation in the first 6 weeks is rough, but it starts getting better after that."

Not helpful: "You'll never get your body back!"
Helpful: "Don't worry about the weight loss for the first few months. You'll eventually have the energy to do things again!"

My mom is the BIGGEST "just you wait"-er ever. I eventually declared my pregnancy a "negative free zone" because I couldn't take it.

Here's my debbie downer, though - Unfortunately, it doesn't stop after pregnancy. Then it's the "just you wait till they crawl." "just you wait till they walk." "just you wait till they get teeth and bite you." "just you wait till they drive."

I think mom-hood has it's traumatic moments, and women feel like they are part of this club and deal with it by joking about the horribly rough parts (cause there are some.) But they don't get us newbies haven't been there yet and can't relate/joke about it yet. People do it to feel superior, and to reflect on their own experiences.