Hellobee Boards

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for everyone's responses! I'm still getting the hang of HB and somehow missed the notification that I had so many replies.

Thank you for the many suggestions to skip the reception - I've been stressing so much about how to cope with the whole affair that I totally forgot that skipping the reception was an option!

I am for sure going to skip the reception now, but I would ideally love to skip the whole thing. I just talked to DH about all of this (and used these replies as proof that my emotional reaction to having to go to this wedding is "normal" under the circumstances), and he's willing to work with me to figure out how I can skip the ceremony if that's what I really want (DH has muscular dystrophy and it's tough for him to solo wrangle our EXTREMELY active toddler).

@winter_wonder: It's amazing how some people, even family members, don't "get it," right?!? How hard is it to express empathy towards another person, even if you haven't been directly in their shoes?!?

@LulaBee: Your posts always resonate with me given the timing of our losses and stillbirths. It's been so frustrating that our family and social circle have NOT been very understanding - it feels like people are surprised that this is still affecting me. I'm so grateful that there are others on HB that have generously shared their stories so that I don't feel so alone. (I'm so sorry for the stress of your current situation but I'm so thankful that babe is currently staying put! Bedrest can't be easy - it's amazing how hard you're working for your little one!)

@jaguar: I've followed your story closely and am in awe of how strong you are and how supportive you are of others. I've seen how much you'v helped other people and am very grateful to now be receiving that support myself. to you and your family, my heart is so full of love and hope for you.

@delight: Your posts always mean a lot to me. Our termination happened a few days after my birthday and a few days before Mothers Day - the timing felt so acutely painful, but I can't imagine how difficult it was having to face Christmas obligations! I also crave the outlet of talking about our loss, but it's tough to find people IRL who are willing to be uncomfortable enough to engage in that conversation. I've tried three different counselors but haven't found a good fit, but I know counseling could help with the right person. Both of my SIL's had their babies baptized in the weeks following our loss - I didn't realize I could just not go and ended up crying throughout both services! I wish I had realized I could opt out so as not to put myself through that and to not mar their celebrations. We hadn't announced on FB and I had only told a few people at work, so now I find that acquaintances have no idea what has happened. I feel like I'm so obviously a mess right now and they don't know why! I do the same thing about thinking about what things could maybe look/feel like a year from now - I told DH tonight that I don't think I'll ever truly be "happy" again until I'm holding my rainbow baby. (I totally get the rambles and feel like my response is the same - I wanted to respond to so many points in your post bc so much of what you said struck a chord w me).

@Torchwood: Thank you so much for reaching out - I know you've got your hands full with your BEAUTIFUL little girl! I was following the August due date board (my DD was early September) and your openness about your experiences meant SO MUCH to me as we went through our diagnosis (CPAM), rapid deterioration, and termination. I've actually thought about walling you to ask how you got through all of the pain of your experiences and the natural stress/uncertainties related to your most recent pregnancy - my doctor told us we should wait for 6 months before TTC but I'm already extremely anxious about the process. Your story gives me hope