We just welcomed baby 2 a week ago. We have a toddler. All the help leaves tomorrow. I’m worried how bedtime routine will go and just day to day.
DH said he will help with breakfast before going to work.
I’m worried I don’t have enough hands 
How do you do things in your home with more than one child?
Any stories or tips may help. Thank you!
pear / 1565 posts
Congratulations! My 2nd was born when my 1st just turned 2. I've definitely had to solo parent quite a bit from early on. I babywore A LOT (for me newborn was great in a wrap) so that I could at least walk around the house and tend to my 2 year old. Breastfeeding happened on the floor (me, not the baby hah) so at least 2 year old could bring me books to read her, I could sorta play with her with one hand, etc. My 2 year old pretty much always came first unless baby was nursing or has poop diaper. For bed time if I remember correctly baby was usually just nursing when I put 2 year old to bed, since newborn's sleep schedule was more "flexible" before a more structured nap/bedtime schedule kicked in.
Ask any other questions!! I am having #3 so I totally will need to visit these logistics again soon 
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Bedtime is probably going to be a mess for a while. Don't be hard on yourself about it. If your husband is home for bedtime, it helps to split up the routine. For a long time, I made it easier by nursing baby to sleep while telling a story, but, yeah, that's not the greatest sleep routine and it was only a temporary measure.
Also, your older LO will hopefully get very good at playing alone. It was tough at first, but I'm very impressed how good my oldest is at entertaining himself. The four year old, who used to be the clingiest kid I ever met, is also getting pretty good at it.
persimmon / 1380 posts
Congratulations! DS1 was 2.5 when DS2 was born. Bedtime and nap time was definitely the hardest to figure out. There were times when the baby just had to cry because I was dealing with my toddler and I felt bad but he was fine. I agree with the suggestions made already. Babywearing if you're comfortable with that will help. I made sure I had places on every floor where I could put the baby down safely. I carried a newborn lounge pillow around with me a lot so I could put him down on that. My toddler probably had more screentime than I would have liked, I definitely would breastfeed with one hand and play with the other.
I tried to keep the baby separate from my toddler's bedtime routine because I didn't want him to feel like the baby was stealing his alone time, but I realized after awhile that he didn't really care, so then the baby just came along with us, laid on the bed while I read my toddler some books and it was fine. That made things a lot easier.
It's really intimidating at first, DH was only able to stay home about a week after each kid was born but you'll be able to figure out a system that works for you pretty quickly. Just give yourself some grace. I just had my 3rd 7 weeks ago and I spend a lot of time mumbling "this too shall pass" to myself.
pear / 1767 posts
My husband started traveling for work pretty extensively right before I had my second child. My infant usually spent time chilling in her RNP while I would be doing the bedtime routine, etc. but sometimes when she was fussy, bedtime stories would be done with her in my arms and him sitting on the bed next to us. We had even started a really bad habit where my older child couldn't fall asleep if we weren't in the bed next to him, so I would be sitting in a dark room holding the newborn while he was dozing off to sleep hoping that she wouldn't make a peep. My best advice is to just put one foot in front of the other and don't get ahead of yourself worrying about how everything will go. I kept reminding myself that there are people out there with tons more kids than just my 2 and they seem to figure it out and so will I. You got this, mama!
grapefruit / 4291 posts
My big tip is to get out of the house every day! Even if you just take a quick walk around the block or visit the grocery store everybody will feel much better for the fresh air and change of scenery.
Something else that has also helped me was to have three things that I achieved every day. As long as I had breakfast, made my bed and took a shower each day then all was right in my world.
And give yourself grace while you find your new normal, and don’t freak yourself out because you might be pleasantly surprised with how well you all adjust.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@graceandjoy: I just pulled out one of the baby carriers today. We just bought a double stroller too. @Mama Bird: DH isn’t home during bedtime except one day a week maybe two. When he is he helps out. Thank you for the tips though!@Kemma: Yes, we will be out of the house daily. I can’t stand to be stuck inside especially with such great weather right now! I like the goals each day! I need to look into that @Shantuck: Baby fussed in the RNP the other day- I was like oh great this isn’t going to work 
pear / 1565 posts
@cake2017: Baby literally took all naps in the carrier some days, and totally nursed to sleep all the time if I also have the 2 year old. Forget building good sleep habits, lol! No guilt! It's all a phase and they all turned out okay 
cherry / 247 posts
ROUTINE!
Figure out a routine that works and stick to it. If older sibling knows that every single day at x time you are busy nursing baby, bathing baby, rocking baby, whatever, then it becomes an expectation instead of a battle. And then it becomes easier for you, too, because you know what to expect.
Of course, very young babies change very rapidly, so the routine may take a few weeks/months to get established. But once you have that routine down it's a piece of cake!
For us what worked is our older kid gets 30 minutes of tv time every evening and that's when dad cooks dinner and mom bathes, nurses, and puts the baby to bed. Then once baby is in bed, tv goes off and big kid gets time with mom and dad and doesn't have to share attention with baby. We eat dinner, play a bit, and then do big kid's bedtime routine.
Also, the baby wakes up 30 minutes before the big kid, so baby also doesn't have to share mom and dad during that time.
kiwi / 556 posts
I'll just say that my toddler never watched TV regularly until we had a second kid. I'd also shower with the toddler and put the baby in a bouncer in the bathroom so I could get a shower, the toddler could shower, and the baby was safe.
But honestly there were times when I had to choose between crying kids. Generally if I knew the baby was safe, I'd deal with the toddler first.
My toddler also went through the worlds worst sleep regression at this age and the only solution was to get a Door Monkey type contraption to "lock" her in her room. once she realized she couldn't escape, it was like a switch flipped and she'd just go to sleep. It was totally bizarre.
My husband also dealt with most toddler night wakings and I did the baby wakings. He'd get up with the toddler in the morning and I'd crawl out of bed when he left for work.
I also spent a LOT of time at the park with the baby in a carrier or stroller.
persimmon / 1420 posts
Mine is a little different because I went from zero children to two right away, but the realization that just plodding through and doing whatever it is you need to do when you can helped me mightily. Yes, someone may scream for a bit while you put one kid into a container of sorts, but as long as everyone is safe, screaming isn't the end of the world. Channel your inner Dory and just keep swimming.
nectarine / 2987 posts
I was on my own for bedtimes with two about the same age span as yours. Wait and see, it might not be so bad. If it isn't working, come back and write out your bedtime routine here for us and we can troubleshoot it with you.
And the answer to how to do things at home has, for me, three parts.
1: train your children to do independent play
2: slow down, wear the baby, and let the toddler help with your tasks
3: put the baby in a safe seat, give the toddler a screen, and multitask as fast as possible
I needed a combination of all three. Remember that everything gets easier about six weeks in. So give yourself a month or two of grace. Relax any household rules about screens and fruit snacks and lollipops. You can reinstate the rules later and it will only take a couple hard days to get back to it. For now, do what works.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@MrsSRS: Thanks! So far nap is good- both babies down :). Toddler has a strict routine for bed it’s just trying to figure out what to do with the newborn.... good suggestions above so we will play around with it. Thank you though for the suggestions!
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
12 comments