DH works a stressful job during the week. He is usually out of the house by 6:45am and comes back home around 5:30-6pm. He only works 15 min away from our home so he really is working most of that time.
I can understand that he is exhausted on weeknights. We have a toddler and a baby so this time in our lives, I understand, is even more challenging.
But on the weekends, DH's naps kind of annoy me. I feel awful for writing it and thinking it but I NEVER take naps. I'm almost always ON whether it be getting up at 5:30am to nurse the baby, getting up at 7 with toddler, changing, feeding, laundry, fixing someone's lunch or dinner, grocery shopping, etc....I almost never watch TV either.
DH is napping right now while I just put baby to nap in his crib and am about to run out to pick up 3 yr old from preschool.
I think he has sleep apnea bc how can he be sooooooooooooo tired all the time when he gets more sleep than me?
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Oh I know! My husband can get 12 hours of sleep one night & STILL take an hour nap later in the day....it's caused a few arguments over the years
pomelo / 5228 posts
Maybe he's pregnant? It's the reason I can't seem to get enough sleep JK of course!
Have you talked to him about it? I've found its always best to talk about things like this instead of silently stewing about them. Maybe work out a schedule where you can get a nap in too.
nectarine / 2220 posts
We fight a lot about DH's sleep schedule too. He likes to sleep until at least 11, if not noon-1pm on his days off. And will go to bed at 9pm. Our six month old wakes up every hour and a half (we're working on it) and I do all night wakings. So I find it really unfair that I usually get 4 one hour naps at night, while he's sleeping up to 16 hours straight.
However, he actually does have a thyroid disorder, so we have to manage that as best we can, and it's one of those things that it's really easy for him to claim, and hard for me to deny that his actual illness might be the problem, even if I sometimes think he's just taking advantage.
But if you think he's more tired than he should be underactive thyroid might be something to look into??
coconut / 8279 posts
Ugh my DH is like this. He works odd hours, like 3pm to past midnight between two jobs.
He sometimes gets to bed late and I know how hard it can be to unwind but staying up reading hockey blogs and eating junk then complaining how tired you are the next day will do you no good.
And he can nap later in the day if/when DS naps (if you encourage a nap, DS usually will nap).
I have to be out of the house by 7:30am every day regardless of whether DS had a good night sleep or not. Since DH works so late I've never expected him to help with any MOTN waking ever.
Oh and DH occasionally has night terrors, yelling, hitting, teeth-grinding night terrors.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
He could definitely have something wrong. If he sleeps a ton and is still super tired, I would encourage him to see someone
My DH has apnea so he can sleep and never really be rested
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I won't even get started on how much my DH annoys me with his naps and always complaining he is tired. He would lay in bed till noon every day if he could.
apricot / 390 posts
Please, please, please get your hubby checked out for sleep apnea! My dad had sleep apnea and the dr. told him that it would take years off his life because your heart isn't getting the oxygen it needs. He didn't do a good job of using his c pap machine and sure enough, my dad passed away at 58 from a massive heart attack despite not having high blood pressure or cholesterol. He walked for an hour each day and was pretty healthy, not a smoker. I don't mean to scare people, but it is serious business!
OP, I can't imagine how frustrating this is and I'm sorry that you are going through this!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
I seriously think men are genetically better nappers!!
eggplant / 11714 posts
I am the one in my marriage that could sleep 12 hours a day if I didn't have LO. My husband is an early riser who never naps.
But now that I have LO I never get to nap (or hell, even sleep well at night), but at least my husband is also up. It would infuriate me if he were napping when I was equally exhausted.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I get annoyed with my husband's sleep habits too. The way to get him out of bed is to wake him up and kick him out of bed when lo gets up but I barely ever do it. And I'M the one that possibly has apnea, woohoo.
grapefruit / 4582 posts
@Mrs. Bee: agreed! I can only nap "on accident" but DH can say "I'm goin to nap" and is asleep in 2 mins.
I'd be SUPER mad if DH did this. It's one thing if you think there's something medical going on, and another if he's just being lazy. Maybe you could express how tired you are and get a nap too?
grapefruit / 4997 posts
My DH sleeps and naps the moment his head touches a pillow. He can sleep through DD crying sometimes, I have no idea why it's so hard for me to sleep right away. I can manage on 4-5 hours sleep daily but eventually need one good day to catch up on my sleep.
pomegranate / 3053 posts
My DH LOVES to nap. He used to nap even before we had kids. I get it. Work is so exhausting during the week for him. But sometimes I get annoyed too, especially when I don't nap either and am always doing something while he does. Anyway, I've stopped letting it bother me unless he is putting something off he agreed to do and is napping instead. He does his fair share of kid duty when I ask him to... most times.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
oh man we are both not nappers. thank goodness, i guess!
@sweetiepie, oh man that would annoy me so much! Dh uses his cpap unless he is sick (then he's just breathing in a cesspool of germs) and it does help but it takes awhile for it to really help
@owlteach, it really is and I'm sorry your family has gone through that!
grapefruit / 4066 posts
omg yes, I could have written this. I get so annoyed my DH wants to nap all the time on weekends...I swear he sleeps more than our 15 month old!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Yea.... My hubby gets uninterrupted sleep and naps also. It pisses me off since i get baby duty 24/7 and I'm lucky if DS lets me sleep more than 2 hours of solid shut eye.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Does he get a good night's sleep? If his sleep is not quality during the night maybe that's why he's so tired? DH always loves napping too while I don't... I don't really find it a problem, but then again we only need to take care of a dog at home!