When the babies were 7 weeks old we hired a nanny to help out 12 hrs a week for a month or two till we got everything done with our house (we were in the middle of finishing home renovations when the babies were born early) and have mastered nursing. Yesterday I found the container we weigh the formula in so that we can make it ahead in bulk. There was hardly any formula in it so I asked her what it was for. She said she had prepped it to make it later. There was enough formula in it for one 4-6oz bottle & she was going to mix it with 20oz of water. She was weighing the weight of the cup then adding the formula which came to 90g instead of zeroing the scale with the cup on it and then weighing out 90g of formula. So three days a week for the last 4-5 weeks my daughter has been getting mostly water! I had showed her how to do it right the first few days she was there.

Our son was switched to a different premixed formula after she was here for about two weeks & has been growing & gaining weight like crazy. Now I wonder if he was so unhappy before because he was starving. My daughter had slowed down her growth & the dr.'s questioned why. I was beating myself up because I thought it was from me nursing her more. Last week (when the nanny was gone) she started gaining weight again. She weighs two pounds less than my son because of this. I am PISSED! I showed her how to do it correctly & she felt horrible about it. I could tell she was on the verge of tears so I was gentle with her even though I was fuming inside. Yesterday I was angry & today I'm just resentful & beating myself up because knew something was off with the formula. I blamed my husband & didn't even consider the nanny because taking care of babies is what she does. In my mind there was no way she could have messed up the formula. I feel horrible about unknowingly letting this happen. I can't help but wonder how big my daughter could have been had she not been virtually starved 3 days a week for over a month! They were 5 weeks premature they don't need anything else interfering with their growth & development.

Come Monday I will be professional about it. I don't want to take that job away from her but I also want to ensure that my kids are getting proper nutrition. Would it be wrong of me to observe her the next couple days (maybe secretively next week or two) to make sure she is doing it right?