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Not at all. They're both extremely selfless people.

My Mother is very into what's happening in her life only. However, this is a new issue. My Mother was the most selfless giving person when I was growing up. She had my sister and I back to back starting when she was 19. She essentially put her life on hold to raise us, while my father supported the fam. About a year ago she decided it was time for her to live her life, which I totally understand, and she began to start her own business. Her business, has not taken off, but she is obsessed with it.

My sister and I have discussed how we feel sad that our children will not get to know her the way that we do. Don't get me wrong she's a great Grandma, but she isn't around a lot and when she is, she talks about what's going on in her life constantly. I hate calling her even because the conversation always turns into stuff about her business. She doesn't even ask how the kids are or DH, its just right into what's going on in her life.

Sorry. I ranted in your post lol.

For my mom, I say she is very opinionated, closed minded and stubborn. I wouldn't call her narcisistic. Emotionally, she does not put herself first. Sometimes, I wish she would. For my MIL, I would say she wasn't. She was great. She was like a second mother to me. Then the wedding happened and her true colors were shown. She is caring and thoughtful when you are on her good side but definitely not when you're not. Now that I saw that side, I see her differently.

ETA: Thinking about it a little more when it comes to being a grandmother. Yes, they both will be narcissistic. My mom does it to my nephews and I can bet money that the MIL will do it, too.

MIL: yes.
My mom: not really but she has her opinions and if I don't do things her way, her feelings are hurt.

No, neither are like that. My mom is probably one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. I'll be so proud of myself if I can just be 1/10th of the mother that she was.

My mom is by no means perfect but she is an incredibly generous and selfless person. Growing up and even now she thinks of her kids first...she sacrificed so much for us.

My MIL is totally different - everything is about her. If we go out to eat she wants the seat with the best view...if we cook at home she takes all the "best" stuff without thinking of aJnyone else...I could not believe this bc my mom is totally the opposite. It's also like she is in a competition with her own daughter...she has to be prettier/thinner/etc...it is very odd to me since my mom is nothing like this.. She definitely thinks of herself first and wants the best stuff for herself and thinks of everyone else as an afterthought. It's hard though bc she had a stroke so i feel like a total jerk for feeling this way but apparently she was always like this even before her stroke

My mom and my FIL, yes. My dad and my MIL, no.

My mom really seems to try at times, but for the most part, she can only see her side to anything. It takes a ton of work, and patience, to even bring up another perspective on any given situation. It can be extremely hurtful for both of us (even though it seems like it is only apparent to me) . . . me, for standing my ground in the most repectful way possible (which involves a ton of restraint and tongue biting, and never saying I told you so), and her for having to deal with being confronted by a situation where she isn't 100% right.

Neither of them are, but my mother has a tendency to think her way is always right. And she is a boob nazi, so there will be issues. And she gets hurt if I don't listen to her or "trust" her, as she puts it. My father is relatively narcissistic, I'd say, but harmless. They're both retired and they're pretty into their retired lives right now.

My MIL only really has the tendencies toward my son. She is a very generous person and does a lot for our family, but once DS is there it's like a switch is flipped and she takes over. It's like she doesn't want to but can't stop herself.