For all the parents with pets in the home who have taught their kids how to interact with dogs what exactly does that mean?
Tips on being safe with little ones for the non-dog owning parents out there!
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For instance my LO is almost 3 and is more outgoing and excited to see dogs. I have a firm no touch rule, but I allow him to say hello and keep it moving. He gets a little jittery still if a dog barks at him/ gets jumpy and my usual refrain is “it’s okay, the dog is just saying hello.” I’m afraid that may actually diminish his natural instinct to protect himself from possible danger. I usually point out a dog situation is “okay” because they are on a leash with their owner. Not sure if I have the best approach.
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I’m not an expert (I used to have one friendly dog but that hardly makes me an expert), but my basics include:
- always always ask the owner- and mommy- before you approach a dog. Say “is your dog friendly? Is it ok if we say hi?”
- if the owner hesitates, we always back off and just wave from a distance and keep moving. If they say it’s fine, we approach slowly and put out our hands palm up for the dog to sniff.
- if the dog sniffs and seems comfortable I’ll let them pet the dog gently on their back or whereever the owner indicates is best.I make sure to remind them not to be jumpy or yell or startle the dog because if the dog gets scared he could hurt them. We always ask the owner. And if the dog isn’t in a leash or I have any doubts we make sure to leave plenty of space.
For a dog we are comfortable around I just make sure to remind them about not making loud startling noises or movements, always be gentle, don’t touch their paws, ears, or tails. It’s inportant to me that they learn to behave around dogs and aren’t afraid, because many of my neighbors and family members have them.
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Definitely ask before you greet. And watch the dogs too, some owners will tell you the dog is fine with kids and the dog will tell you otherwise. We hardly ever do more than a quick pet with dogs we don't know. I don't trust other owners to know their dogs so I watch the body language carefully.
If it's a dog that is familiar or one you're spending more time around (including our own dogs), my rules are:
No hugs
No face near their face
Only pet on the back of the head/neck and shoulder area
If the dog shows any sign of being uncomfortable, no more interaction, leave the dog alone.
I talk with her a lot about how to read a dog. So if a dog turns its head away or walks away, that's how it says "I'm done." If a dog starts licking it's lips a lot or cowering at all, it is saying, "I'm afraid." Etc.I think key is reading the dog. Owners are not dependable, so I wouldn't ever go by their assessment of how comfortable their dogs are. But dogs rarely do anything without significant warning.
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This is a great website with some really useful informational tools. Their posters and videos are fantastic.
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Echoing all of the above. It's a great benefit to read up on dog body language so you can know what a dog is feeling vs. what the owner says like @Mrs. Turtle: mentioned, especially if you do not have a lot of dog experience or exposure.
We also have a firm rule about leaving plenty of space if a dog is eating or has a toy. Including to NEVER take a toy or food from a dog. Playing actively with a dog (tugging a rope toy or throwing a ball) is different from taking a bone or chew toy or something away from a dog who is playing with it solo. Also if they are in "their space" (like a crate or dog bed) then leave them alone.
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All of the above - and also don't follow/chase a dog who is trying to move away.
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@lindseykaye: Oh yes, that's on our list too. O has a REALLY hard time with impulse control around our dogs. We let her feed them because it helps them like her even when she makes mistakes. But the rule is, you put the food in the bowl and walk away. No lingering, no pets.
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Echoing all of @Foodnerd81's suggestions. While our first kiddo isn't due until summertime, this is always what we instruct kids who want to pet our dog to do. Also, I read that studies have shown that dogs' tails wag more heavily to one side versus another depending on mood. To the right means a dog is happy; to the left means the dog is anxious. (This is from the dog's perspective, not yours!) Ever since I read this, I've used it to help myself evaluate the dogs I'm around, and it has proven effective for monitoring my own dog too.
https://www.livescience.com/40858-tail-wag-direction-dog-behavior.html
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I have a high strung, high intensity 80 lb dog and it often isn't apparent that I've spent thousands of dollars investing in training her. Despite a ton of effort, she is not a model citizen.
For my kids, it's easy. They know to be nice. They give her toys when she's stressed, don't disturb her when she's sleeping, don't pet/kick/bite her, and do help train her. They feed her and are super involved in her care.
For people who aren't my kids, the best thing is to always ask before you approach and accept the word no. My dog is 100% not going to be cool with your 4 year old bounding over to pet her, especially if I'm holding my baby. So if I say "no thanks" or "please don't approach", trust me and don't give me a guilt trip about how much your daughter likes dogs. Your daughter is not the problem here. It's the 80 lb beast who thinks you're trying to hurt her or hurt her baby.
I have taught my kids to never approach a dog and never to pet a dog. It drives other dog owners nuts when my 3 yo says "no thanks. I don't want to stress out your puppy".
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I agree with all of these. And I wanted to add that your tone of voice and whether or not you tense up when your kids encounter dogs can have an impact on whether they will develop a healthy way of being careful around dogs or will become nervous/scared of dogs. I have a friend whose son is "scared" of dogs because every time they encounter a dog, she tries to reassure him that's it's okay, but with a panicky voice and she quickly scoops him up to hold him (he's 5). And the more relaxed you are, the more the dog is likely to stay relaxed (depending on the dog, of course)
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I grew up with dogs, but haven’t had one as an adult. We are very serious about dog etiquette with our 3 yo. We go on hikes regularly and encounter a lot of dogs, both leashes and unleashed. When I see a dog coming, I remind DS and say in a very natural and neutral voice “here comes a dog, remember to have a calm, quiet body”. He always asks to pet and puts his hand out for sniffs. He only pets on the back
, unless the owner indicates otherwise. A few pets and off we go. When we are visiting friends with dogs, we have rules similar to above: no chasing, no taking anything (food/toys), don’t get in their face and don’t invade their space. And of course, no hitting, yelling or kicking
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Basically, our kids know never to go near an animal when it is eating and to practice "gentle touches." Also, never approach an unknown animal and ask permission before touching someone else's pet.
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