Hellobee Boards

Yep, he had a child already. BUT I fell in love. He's the only man I've loved and the only one I've dated with a child.LOL

His parents hate me, and that was never part of the plan. But they kinda hate everyone, so it doesn't bother me very much. Other then that, not really. He's pretty close to what I envisioned.

@mrbee: HAHHAH. This is totally a spin off from what I said before.
My husband's deal breakers.
1. Not Jewish
2. Disagree in politics--quite severely
3. Drinks like a fish and doesn't appreciate the difference between alcohol and good alcohol worth drinking
4. Smoker (and dip, too! EEEWWW!)
5. Really unadventurous with food (and sometimes life)

How we deal.
1. Easy, we have come up with a compromise that makes sense for us. I join a synagogue, he donates the same amount of $ to an organization of his choice. We both educate the kids, though he knows 90% of that will come from me he is ok with it.
2. Mutual education, and sometimes FIGHTING (oops)
3.My dad taught him to appreciate good alcohol (with my help) and he drinks like an adult now, not a college student.
4. He switched to electronic cigarettes (and loves it because now he can smoke *anywhere* even on airplanes if he needs to. Also his teeth are much nicer now (he's a little vain about that)
5. All I had to do was introduce him to real cheese and now he's much more open to *good* food. Turns out the variety he had seen was all just bad.

And I know the first 2 were deal breakers for him with me. Not sure how he is with the rest of me, but we work together really well now. The only thing we fight about is politics.

A guy younger than me was a dealbreaker. HA, the hubs is almost 3 years younger. Shows how much I know, right!??

Nope. After leaving DS's dad I made a REALLY extensive list of things I desired and knew I needed, then I waited..... for 5 years for a guy that had those things to come along.

DH actually has ALL of them (2 pages worth) PLUS things that I didn't even think to put on there.

I get the whole "idealistic" thing though b/c my best friend actually LAUGHED at me when I originally made the list said the guy didn't exist... but I held out and he found me. =D

Hubs has 2 "dealbreakers" for me. He's an only child, and his parents are divorced. (Please don't get offended if you come from either of these two groups.) I was always under the impression that being an only child or a child of divorced parents were two qualities that could make you pretty dysfunctional in relationships. It turns out that is clearly not always true.

The older I got, the more strict I got with those dealbreakers. I was uncompromising in them and end up getting exactly what I was looking for. He is not without flaws, but who is?

My husbands dealbreakers were if his mom didn't like the person and not family oriented. His mom actually did not like me at first because I was so much younger. Maybe a better way of putting it is she didn't like the idea of me. Then she met me and now we are really close.

After dating someone for years a finding out he was an atheist, my dealbreaker was someone who was not a Christian. My husband definitely is and that me so happy.

No real dealbreakers, though I've had plenty of moments like, "OMG he buys the wrong tomato sauce at the store" or, "I cannot believe he didn't throw out this soda can AGAIN." And then going where I think that means he's not for me. Hah! I've definitely chilled out on the "must-have" qualities as I got older, but it turns out he has every single must-have quality that was on my list, anyway

My deal-breakers that he has:
nail-biter
can be racist / misogynistic at times
doesn't care about his health

How we deal:
1. I try to ask him if he's okay when I catch him biting his nails. Most of the time he doesn't realize he's doing it and there's usually a reason behind it (he's anxious, scared, etc.) and we talk about it.

2. When he starts making fun of people or making stereotypes / generalizations I call him out on it and ask him if he even knows the person he's stereotyping. Then I let him know it really bothers me. He's gotten a lot better

3. I give him the proper portion of whatever it is and put away the rest. If he can't see it, he "forgets" about it. I also do the grocery shopping. When he goes to the grocery store he will bring home six packages of cookies and eat them in 2 days. He's done it on multiple occasions.

I didn't really have any deal-breakers when I met DH. My standards were pretty low ("Do I want to make out with him? Yes? Let's go.") and I lucked out meeting a great guy. There are things about him I dislike for sure, though... I think if I had known how anal he can be about things, and how impatient he can be, it would have been a red flag... but I fell in love fast so at that point I didn't care!

As far as my DH goes, I pretty much broke all his "rules," haha. He was always very straight laced and had strong opinions on things like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. I was, er, quite the opposite. It was hard for him but eventually he became more open-minded, and I cleaned up my act, so that deal-breaker has resolved itself.

The deal-breaker we still are working on though is that he never saw himself with someone that wasn't a Holly Homemaker, super neat & clean individual like himself. I am messy and hate housework. It drives him crazy. We're both getting better (me on being less messy, him on being less anal) but it's definitely a challenge.

For me, it's age...my husband is three years younger, I always dated older or same aged guys.

He drank pretty heavily when I first met him. I didn't even really know the extent of it. We met online. Luckily he stopped drinking except like 1 or 2 drinks at a sports game or something. I am really proud of him and his health is doing so much better!

I never went to a frat in college so there's no way I thought I'd end up with a 'frat boy' let alone the president of his frat. Luckily we started dating after college.