Hellobee Boards

@hilsy85: we divide it up pretty much the same way. When my husband has weekends off he does dishes, cooks, hangs out with LO, etc.
if he gets home before her bedtime he does bath and stuff with her. I think it's only fair that he gets to relax in the evenings! We both do!

Your setup doesn't sound very fair to me. It is hard to get stuff done while playing with a babe....our place is not the cleanest right now, but it is part of my job in staying home, and I do my best....

A chore chart might help, but I think you should have an honest and direct conversation about how much you are taking on

We both work full time, though I work from home. Since I'm here, I do as much as I possibly can throughout the day. Laundry is done on an as-needed basis, and I try to fold/put away as soon as it's done. Same with dishes. And, I hate clutter so I try to pick up the house throughout the day. Having a toddler is kind of like a tornado, so the house gets messy quickly.

My husband cooks almost every night. He's a great cook and I'm not. He does it without complaint and I love him for it.

He can also tell what kind of day I've had with Lo by the way out house looks. If it's been a rough one, he pitches right in and helps pick up.

He does bath time and bedtime himself. He's like a baby whisperer. I have a hard time getting clo to bed and he reads two books & she's out! On the flip side, I'm a rock star at naps and he struggles!

I mostly handle the day to day finances and scheduling joint appointments (like meeting with our financial advisor) while he's a bit more big picture with our finances. We schedule our own personal appointments. I pay half of the bills and he pays the other.

Taking care of a baby is a full-time job but whatever you two can work out is what works for you.

Ditto to @hilsy85 DH will often clean the kitchen at night if he doesn't have other work stuff to do. Sounds unfair to me what y'all are doin!

@OpinionsLikeKittens: How old is your baby? For us, for the first few months I could not get anything done while I was home alone with the baby-- naps were unpredictable if they happened at all, so most days I used to rare nap for things like showering, eating, and perhaps laying down for a few minutes after being up multiple times a night. So, no, I didn't cook very often, or clean, or anything besides get through the day.

BUT, now naps are getting a little better and when she is awake, she can play by herself on her play mat, so I'm able to do a little more. I try to cook or at least plan dinner, I pick up after me and LO throughout the day and put all her toys away at night, and take care of laundry and dishes throughout the day. Beyond that, we split most things on the weekends, like vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the bathrooms. I could do more of those things during the day, but I see my primary job as spending time with LO, not keeping immaculate bathrooms. We both work hard during the day so I feel like it's fair to split chores on the weekend.

I do try and let him have extra time with LO on the weekends though, while I pick up extra chores, because he doesn't get to see her awake that much during the week.

I'm on a yearlong mat leave, so I'm a SAHM at the moment. The breakdown in our house, wrt the baby, is like 90-95% me/5-10% DH. I'm with her all day and do pretty much everything aside from bath time and bedtime. I also do all the MOTN wakeups, because I BF.

I cook dinner, do the majority of the laundry and try to keep the house somewhat together (not my strength while also balancing DD). DH does most of the cleaning since DD was born. I really want to get a cleaning lady after I go back to work so that we can have more quality family time, without having to use that time on household chores.

Ah OK, then yeah, it does seem like he should pick up quite a bit more of the slack. We have talked about getting a cleaning lady too, though we haven't done it yet. I just want it for the big things that I truly don't want to do, like scrubbing the bathrooms. And we have a small dog who sheds a moderate amount and it's still insane how quickly the fur builds up in the corners.

Hopefully you can discuss the division of labor while everyone is awake and in a good mood. I know I'm not at my best when waking up in the middle of the night (I have been known to say things like, No, it's fine, I'll just never sleep again! when he is OFFERING to help, but she's EBF so he can't).

I stay home, and DH is in charge of the grown up laundry and taking out the trash. I do LO's laundry and all of the rest of the household cleaning/shopping/maintenance/cooking. It varies for dishes. Growing up, my family had a policy that everyone either cooked or did the dishes, so that'd be my preference now.

I'm a sahm mom and do about 85% of all the cleaning and I cook. He helps with child care though I would say that he does about 40% of childcare ( I go to school)

As a SAHP, I would make a goal to get one chore done during the day when LO was younger (so newborn-6 month old range). Yes, my LO would nap 2-3 times a day, but only for 45 minutes at a time. One of those naps I used to take a shower. Another nap was often used so I could make myself lunch. There's not a lot of downtime with a younger infant until they can sit on their own and start interacting with toys more independently.

You might need to prioritize chores for a bit - so choose 2-3 things that should get done each day. Have your husband do one of those things and see if after a couple weeks he can try getting two things done each day. I felt a lot of pressure to take care of a baby and the house all week by myself and eventually learned that baby comes first and house stuff comes after, if I have time. Slowing adding more chores to my routine worked well - I learned how to balance my time better week after week.

For the dinner thing - can he try to do more slow cooker recipes? Those easy sort of meals really helped us when LO was younger.