I have several friends who are TTC right now, a few that it has been over a year. I want to be a support for them, knowing how bananas the whole rollercoaster is, but I am currently 23 weeks and feel like they might be--understandably-- pulling away.
I make an effort not to push and let them bring it up if/when they want to talk about it, but would love for them to know I"m still there for them. Any advice?
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
This is so tough. I have been on both ends. I struggled getting pregnant with my son and had a really hard time when friends were pregnant, then I finally got pregnant and felt so bad for friends who were struggling. Now I'm struggling again and I'm back on the other side. I really don't think there is anything you can do, other than to let them know you're there for them and give them space if they need it.
pomelo / 5524 posts
I've also been on both ends of this. I think just letting them know every once in a while that you're there for them is really nice. You can talk to a friend initially and just say, "Listen...I don't want to bring things up that might be unnecessarily painful for you, but I want to ask how you're doing every once in a while. I really care about you and want to make sure you know that I'm here for you. If you prefer me not to ask, I'll never ask again...but just know you can bring it up to me whenever you want."
I found that helped with one friend who WANTED me to ask, and another who never wanted me to ask, but would bring it up to me when she needed to just vent. Coming out with both options lets your friend decide which type of person she is and how to broach the subject.
bananas / 9899 posts
I think if they're pulling away, you should give them the space they need.
Also, I wouldn't bring it up, but instead just remind them that they can talk to you about anything and that you are there for them whenever they may need it.
clementine / 811 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: @2PeasinaPod: @pui: @Littlebit: ok. That's where I was going but thought this would be a good place to ask. Thanks ladies
nectarine / 2936 posts
Great suggestion @2PeasinaPod. Personally, I would love for my friends to ask me how things are going, but I know a lot of people are quite the opposite. I think this gives people a chance to state their preference.
@HazelEyes: You sound like a very thoughtful friend and I'm sure your friends are thankful to have you. 
clementine / 811 posts
@mrs. 64: Thanks. Its tough to balance celebrating my own milestones with being sensitive to how frustrating I just know their situations are.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
8 comments