We started swim lesson for my 4 year old at ymca last week. She is hating it and has developed a bad anxiety and starts crying 2 hours before lesson . We have not been taking her to pool regularly so she doesnt have much experience in being pool. I m at loss whether to take a break from lessons or just suck it up
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What part of the swim lesson causes her anxiety? Is it a private swim lesson? Group lesson?
If it's private, ask her instructor if she can make it more fun for her or more of a game. Get a beach ball and go to where the stairs are of the pool and have her hit the beach ball back and forth as she stands on the very first step with just her feet in. Or get some rings and do the same. As she gets more comfortable, ask her if she'd like to take another step down, but let her do it on her own terms.
The goal is to get her used to being in the pool. If the instructor puts her into the pool right away with no easing in, and that's terrifying her, she needs to take more baby steps.
If it helps, my son was terrified of the water at 3. We kept up with individual lessons, and he's now 6 and can swim a full lap in an Olympic sized pool. It took us 3 steady years of swim lessons, but he got gradually better and is swimming well on his own. He also now loves it!
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I'd suck it up. My daughter went through the same thing. Still does, actually. But once she's there, she's happy. How does your LO react when in the lesson/before and after it?
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@2PeasinaPod: she is in group lesson and i think her instructor is pushing her. She is terrifying of water going in her eyes and nose. Thanks for advice.
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@mediagirl: She cries for mommy over n over again during lesson and tells me she doesnt want to do it when it is over
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@Jass: Can she see you while she's at lessons? I find that kids do much better when they can't see their parents.
Also, my son was really afraid of getting his hair or face wet. I had to take him to open swim session in addition to his lessons and work one on one with him to help him feel more comfortable in the water. I would push through, but try to get some extra one on one water time with her too.
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There was just a thread on swim lesson anxiety - you should check it out bc I think a lot of people had similar experiences and just powered through, me included.
Eta: here it is!
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swim-lessonsfear#post-2832917
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Ouch poor thing! I understand not forcing her into it if she's freaking out. What about if you took her one time during the week and got her more comfortable? She probably feels less threatened with you. Let her cling and do her thing. Then eventually she might learn water is less scary?
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@Madison43: yep! This was actually my post a couple weeks ago and I still agree about trying to push through. One thing that I think helped save the experience initially was that my husband started taking our daughter to a neighborhood pool after her lessons to just have fun there and splash around with no pressure. We also switched instructors for the second half of our swim lessons and the new teacher was much better for a younger swimmer and we made a lot more progress with her.
Jass, if you have the time to take your daughter out swimming in-between classes and just making it fun for her, that might help. It made my daughter more confident and by the end, she was sad to get out the water and sad that the lessons were done for this session.
We also did a lot of mental prep and talked about the lessons a lot at home. We talked about what was scary, what she was proud of accomplishing (like putting her face in the water), what was fun. I think that helped her process things and she was generally in a good mood going into most lessons after the initial couple disasters. Good luck!
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My almost 5 year old is still iffy in the water- she likes it but hates getting her hair wet and gets overwhelmed during busy group lessons in a loud pool. She just had her first lesson in someone’s backyard pool today, where it was nice and quiet and just her and two other kids and she did so much better. I think the noise of the big pool was a little much on top of everything else.
The instructor also told me and another mom (whose daughter was scared and crying) that when we take them swimming we need to be dunking them under to get used to it. But our kids are both comfortable in the water just not with getting their heads wet, so I’m not suggesting that right away! -
Could you get her goggles, so she would know water wouldn’t get in her eyes? Or make a deal (and tell the teacher) that she doesn’t have to put her face in?
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I know the general consensus is that swimming lessons are a vital skill, but I wouldn't make my kid do anything that upset her that much.
Do you live in an area where pools are very common? I do not, so I must admit my feelings about this could be different if we were at houses/around pools often. If you do, and swimming lessons feel like something she MUST do NOW for safety, I'd try to work with the instructor more, or find a private lesson. If it doesn't have to happen right away, I'd take her out and find ways to help her feel safer/more comfortable (swimming together, going to beaches or pools with gradual entry so that she can really be in charge of how deep she goes, read books about it, tell stories, etc.) -
Not sure my experience will be useful, but my 3 year old wouldn't even go INTO the pool at our first swimming lessons and so we just stopped going (I asked him every week if he wanted to try again and he said no). I think swimming is important, but I don't believe in forcing kids to do something they don't want to do, especially at this age (unless it's health related, like going to the doctor or taking a bath). I'm hoping he'll be more reasonable when he's older!
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I made sure to playfully spray and splash water on my kid's head and face in the shower and bath leading up to swim lessons, so that she could get used to it in a more familiar environment.
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I'm going to second goggles because this really helped us. But I also think it might be worth it to schedule a few individual lessons that you can be in the water with her so she can build her confidence level. In our swim program, the first two levels are for parents with their kids and I think that it helps the kids be more confident and less scared.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this! Its terrible to put your kid in something and have them cry. This has happened with me and my almost 2 year old for swim lessons! But swim lessons are so necessary and could save her life - so she needs to take them and its only going to get harder the older that she gets. So please stick it out. My girl screamed the first few lessons. I had to peel her off of me and then hide in the house. I decided to do lessons twice a week so that she could get used to it. Try to do that if you can swing it, even if only for a month. The lessons are short - just 15 minutes. That's all that a little kid can handle. She will soon work up to 20 minutes and then 30 minutes. I have no idea when. I don't know what its like to be starting out all of this with a 4 year old but best of luck. You are doing her a favor by making she she knows how to swim.
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