Look, buddy, I get the idea. You're there. Now help Mommy make some hcg, or stop it with SOMETHING else at least until I can confirm you are real: the indigestion, the gas, the acne, the "gag if you detect a chemical" stunt, the increased appetite, the crazy dreams, the restless sleep, the bloating, the one-sided stabby cramps, the fatigue, the mood swings... Mommy has never had indigestion this painful before, so you'd better be in there to make this worth it.

The part of me that actually thinks I'm pregnant is very content with all the symptoms, but it's a week before I'm supposed to test. I refuse to get excited before I see a BFP. My non-BC cycles are normally peaceful, so it'd be infuriating for this to be my body just being a jerk again.