My younger sister is pregnant, great news. I have not told her or the family that I am trying for my second. Do I need to stop trying for a reasonable period so that I am not pregnant at the same time? Or warn her? What is the etiquette? My girlfriends don't have sisters and I need the take of women who do, please!
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I would never consider someone else's announcement or timing when trying for myself.
Do what you want, she should be happy for you!
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Well I have a sister and we tend not to care about that very much... and it would be exciting for us having kiddos so close in age! I'm sure you know your sister best!
However when my sister had a loss (lost her baby at 7 weeks) my husband and I did say we should try to NOT have a baby until she was pregnant again. At the same time my sil had had trouble conceiving and her last two pregnancies ended in miscarriage so we were thinking we should wait awhile to be sensitive to them as well. Well we ended up soon after with an oops baby. Whoops. Felt bad but again in our families we understand... and it's not like I flaunted the pregnancy and talked about it. We had to tell them we were pregnant but I did not bring up anything baby or pregnancy related to them.
Thankfully they each had their take home healthy babies since then.
I'd only be sensitive to losses but not sure what others have to say!
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I would have LOVED being pregnant at the same time as my sister! How great to have cousins so close in age. There is no reason at all to put off your TTC plans.
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I wouldn't. I'm pregnant with my second and my SIL is due 10 days after with me with her first. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean the family isn't celebrating her like they did with me with my first. I'm excited for my daughter to have a cousin so close in age!
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I got pregnant with my second when my sister was 7 months with her first and we were both thrilled. Sadly I had a MC (but have since had my son). Having kids close in age is fantastic though, we just took them all to Disney together!
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I thought about this with both my sister and a coworker who are both trying for their first, after I got pregnant with my second. I felt a little guilty, like I didnt wnat to tell them, but they were both so happy for me and didnt seem to relate it to them. I think it might be due to their personalities and the fact that, thankfully, neither of them have had a loss. I had a miscarriage before my first son, and any pregnancy announcement was a little hard for me, even after I was pregnant again myself! I tried not to project my feelings on them, and while not rubbing it in their face or anything, I didnt hide it either. I think as long as you are sensitive to their feelings, its all good!
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@joandidion: I think it's totally unnecessary to stop ttc for your sister. We put off our announcement because of my sisters pregnancy and even that was probably unnecessary but more in the spectrum of not a big deal and normal for us so we did.
My personal opinion is you don't have a baby for the attention it brings and anyone who would get upset over their thunder being stolen by someone else being pregnant needs to grow up!
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Yeah I don't get what anyone else's family plans have to do with anything.
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Other people's family plans have no bearing on my family plans and vise versa. I would never put my plans on hold because someone else is pregnant.
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This would not even be a consideration to me. I have a good relationship with my sister, if it were me I might mention I'm TTC but because she is my sister not because she's expecting. My SIL got pregnant 2 months after me and I did not care at all.
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I wouldn't...and didn't! My sister told me she was pregnant with her first about a month into us trying for our second. Our babies will be about 2.5 months apart!
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Thank you all, I really appreciate all your thoughtful help! I just am soo excited for her and don't want to mess anything up. I agree having cousins close in age is the best!
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My sil got pregnant with her second a month after I got pregnant with our first. I'm gonna be completely honest- it was kind of a bummer initially. There's also a family history of her kind of making every event/trip/etc about her and her family in one way or another so it felt like another example of that for us.
That said I was still super excited for her and wouldn't have expected her or anyone else to put off family planning because of us, so I think you should totally stick with the plan that makes sense for you and your family!!
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My sister in law (my brother's wife) had her 3rd baby 8 weeks after I had my first. I didn't feel like she took any attention away from me at all. Plus it is fun having them so close in age.
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As long as you aren't announcing at her baby shower, gender reveal, or when her baby is crowning, you're good.
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I say go about your life. We started TTC at my BILs wedding knowing they would be TTC soon. We got pregnant first, announced, then miscarried. We ended up with sticky pregnancies at the same time and our kids are 2 weeks apart. It is great to have cousins close in age.
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@joandidion: my sister and I have boys who was six months apart and we love it- the boys do too! They're best friends and I'm so happy we were pregnant at the same time.
Then, when she got pregnant the second time, my SIL got pregnant only a few weeks later and my two nieces are six weeks apart. It's so fun having a family of cousins close in age.I actually joked that this time, when I had my second, one of them needed to get pregnant again
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no! How wonderful that you might have kids close in age! I would loooooove if my daughter had a cousin her age!
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@Coral: ha ha yes, those momemts are all hers!
No sisters, but I wouldn't delay TTC due to someone else's timeframe/ life happenings. Getting pregnant can take longer than you think and I wouldn't want to waste a month if I didn't have to.
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@Mrs. Pen: That is sweet! I wish my kids had more close in age cousins.
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@2littlepumpkins: both my parents were the oldest in their families, and I didn't really have cousins my age and neither did my two older siblings. So I love that our kids are so close!
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My sister and I had boys 3 months apart and it's been great. Our girls are 9 months apart. Mine is only 6 weeks so they don't play yet but I'm sure they will. I really enjoy being in this stage of life at the same time as my sister. It's really a gift to have someone so close going through similar things.
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You don't need to change your plans at all, whatsoever. But you might prep yourself by thinking about her personality. Is she going to get worked up over it? Throw a fit? Act jealous? You know her better that we do. If you answered yes to any of those questions it still doesn't change my advice, but it might prepare you for her reaction! Maybe don't tell her you are actively trying. Life happens...pregnancy isn't something that happens on a perfect timeline (unless your body is predictable, which most aren't!). Good luck!
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My sister and I were due without second babies 6 weeks apart, with my due date coming first. I was overjoyed when she announced a few weeks after us! Ours girls are so close in age and there is plenty of love to go around.
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I wouldn't do anything but continue TTC and let your family know when you are pregnant and ready to announce. Ive never understood the steal your thunder for that sort of thing. Its so fun being pregnant at the same time and having cousins close in age. Me and my SIL are 3 weeks apart.
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I would never let someone else determine my TTC status (aside from my partner).
I'm currently pregnant, and so are 34095849548 of my friends.
It's been a joy. You do you!! (I will say, there would be very specific situations where I'd be more conscious of sharing news (like if a friend was experiencing infertility or a loss they were processing), but again, I wouldn't feel selfish for TTC)
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I wouldn't let it affect your plans at all!!
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No way!
My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time; her with her 2nd and mine with my 1st. It was so great to have someone to go through pregnancy with and now our girls are practically twins since they're only 2 weeks apart!
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With my second, I was pregnant at the same time as some relatives and it was so fun. Having cousins close in the age has been great.
It's been a joy. You do you!! Reply
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