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My answer is brownish. We don't take it all that seriously, but answer honestly. Dd (4.5) knows some of her ethnicities. She's pretty mixed so not all of them.

Edited because autocorrect + touchscreen screwed up my post.

My kiddo is 3 and she has asked me this quite a few times. I told her that everyone is a type of brow. We are "light light peachy brown" (aka super white) but other people are a darker brown. I also make sure that I tell her that everyone has pretty skin/ people are all the same. She does refer to darker people as "chocolate brown" and I don't know what to say to her about that.

You could always turn it back to the child, too..."What color do YOU think you are?" and see what direction they take it in.

My daughter is biracial, and I'm white. I've literally had people ask me if she's mine. On several occasions, other little kids (of various races) have said to their parents, "Mommy, she's brown." Well, yeah. She is. There's not anything wrong about that, and there's not anything wrong with kids trying to process different skin colors. We all do! I wish I had said "Yup, and I'm peach. And what color is your skin?" or something like that, but I felt awkward and didn't say anything.

ETA: This is a great question.

My biracial kids struggle with this some. In the first drawing my older son told me he was white like me and his brother was brown like his dad. We talked about how both he and his brother are light brown since they are mixed and literally the next day he brought home the 2nd drawing. We say brown/white since my (Indian) husband happily describes himself as brown and white is the most common description for white people, haha. After seeing how easily my comments swayed him I am trying to be careful to just listen to what he thinks instead of telling him what to think. Family photo provided for reference

I told my son that we are brown. It was funny when he first asked because he would say that our relatives were different colors like pink, orange, etc. lol Now that he is older he will say light brown, dark brown, etc.

My oldest says she is tan, dad is brown, and I am peach. Crayon colors.

One interesting thing she said the other day caught me off guard. She said I don't put sunscreen on her sometimes and she is getting very very brown and I need to put sunscreen on more often. This is all true but Inwas trying to figure out if this was a simple observation, or if she had learned about sun/skin care at school (I really should do a better job of using sunscreen but my kids don't really burn they just get super dark, as she noticed), or if she didn't *want* to be darker and was expressing that...at which point I started wondering why she would think that.

Anyway, it was random and I might be overthinking it all.

"Your skin is like a light peach color. Isn't it interesting that we all have different color skin? You know your friend, E? She has dark brown skin. Your friend T has lighter peach skin than you have." - at 3.5, this is a normal conversation. We don't say "black" and "white" right now, as I've had POC friends express they wish children celebrated them as brown instead of black. That vernacular will come with time, as LO hears more from the outside world.

Related: she's asked what our "black lives matter" sign says, so I've been using that as a jumping off point in discussing equality and justice (age appropriate - but we are definitely talking about it).

Great question. We are very close to a family from Africa and we say that they have dark brown skin, and we are peach or pink. I've tried to explain to my LOs that people look different when in different parts of the world, and the older one gets it. We are moving to Asia soon, so I am trying to be very conscious about perception of race and color and how to explain it, especially because where we currently live is not very ethnically diverse.

@lamariniere: We also talk about how everything is different on every person. Yes, skin color can be varying shades, but so is hair color, and height and weight.

@lamariniere:

http://www.salon.com/2015/05/05/bill_nye_on_the_science_of_racism_were_all_the_same_from_a_scientific_standpoint/

My first instinct would be to reflect back to the child to ask what they thought.

My nephew was about 3 when DH and I married. He learned about race when he very innocently asked DH why he was black. DH said it was because his parents were. (and my nephew accepted that)

My godson was about 5 or 6 when he declared DH and I would have 10 babies and five would be white and 5 would be black (I think he thought babies were like puppies and could come out either color).

For the most part though, I'll lean on DH to handle race discussions with our own children (especially if they're boys).

I know there's absolutely no way that I will ever understand what it's like to be black. And I don't think it's exactly fair as a white woman to paint of picture of "colorblindness" when I haven't had to deal with bias or racism directly myself.

almost all comments above discuss only skin color shades, except for @lamariniere: 's, which touches on race/ethnicity in relations to historical locations around the world. When do you think it would be appropriate to start actually teaching about racial concepts and history? Maybe I'm just biased bc I'm a history teacher, and I think there's a lot more to the discussion than just shades of skin color. "Skin color" has dramatically affect people's lives for a very long time, affecting value, relationships, economics, etc. Are people waiting to address these with their children until school teaches history? Because then they're only going to get a very skimpy gloss over touching on slavery, Native American cultures, and civil rights and that's about it. Sadly schools teach almost nothing about racism outside of American blacks/whites, 1700s-1960s. I feel that if we want our children to have a robust understanding, we have to be proactive and go beyond just "shades of brown".... when developmentally appropriate?

@DesertDreams88: so my oldest just turned 4 last week, and has learned since birth where my husband is from and we have a giant world map in her room, and we have taught her to also identify with his culture since, frankly, she doesn't look white or mixed at all. However, she doesn't really get it at all, doesn't understand the concept of other countries or even other states just yet, doesn't understand the concept of other races or different races, even though we have pointed things out to her and talk about it frequently since it comes up frequently. For example, my husband and his whole family speak a different language, are a different religion, are a certain ethnicity of that country (their country has a vast history of its own and multiple ethnic/cultural background that most westerners have no clue about)....and with all of that that she has experienced first hand, if I were to ask her questions about "race" or history of race in the US, she would have no clue.

I think crayon colors for skin tones and answering any questions that come up honestly is good for now. As she gets older, she'll learn more. I actually teach an entire class on the history of intolerance in the US to middle schoolers, and a surprising amount goes over their heads, no matter what their race or background is. Even in 8th grade, it's hard for them to REALLY get it and internalize it all.

@DesertDreams88: No offense to teachers, but I don't want race/ color explained to my kid by someone who may hold bias or not be entirely comfortable discussing race. Heck, I am not even sure how to just answer the innocent hair/ skin color question without adding the why. We use race as an identifier for practically every everyday discussion. Sometimes it just helps imagine the players in the story and sometimes it explains the actions/ motives.

ETA: @ Freckles: just saw your post. Guilty of your last point.

@Freckles: I feel the same especially at the stage were at now. That's what I meant by we don't take it "seriously." We are mixed, our family is mixed, it's all just been very matter of fact for us so far.

@MaryM: " I think it can be hard for kids to fully grasp it. But that doesn't mean I don't think they should try." Exactly. I think it's a process of growing in understanding. see my next response

@Anagram: That sounds like an awesome class, I'm pretty envious! I teach 8th grade SS, which is one semester of Revolution & Constitution and one semester of 1940s-1970s. "A surprising amount goes over their heads, no matter what their race or background is. Even in 8th grade, it's hard for them to REALLY get it and internalize it all." I 'm not sure if I agree fully, based on my experiences. I mean, it's hard, for sure! My students have no dedicated SS time until 6th grade, and 6th grade is just Ancient Civ, so when they come to me in 8th grade they don't have formal "schooling" on the matter, except for bits and pieces about MLK Jr & Rose Parks & basic slavery. But isn't the purpose of education, to help students develop an understanding? Especially middle school education, to start working on honing those critical thinking skills and applying their knowledge to understand the world around them? So even if it seems like young students aren't "getting it" yet, it's valuable to start that conversation. And I think by the end of my class, my students really have started to "get it"... though they are NOWHERE near fully understanding it (though, who is)? They are starting to ask the good questions, and see effects of racism, and question issues of race outside of American black/white, etc etc.

@DesertDreams88: I will write more later, but for now facts based sex education should absolutely be taught in school. Good touch/ bad touch should be taught as well in the younger grades.