When did the talking back phase start with your LO and how can I shut that one down fast? This just started with my almost four year old, and that kind of behavior I won't brush off as much as some of the others (whining, for example)...what can I do?
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Oh my gosh, I feel your pain. When I have to repeat asking my 4.5 year old to do something she will mutter "okay I heard you!!"
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We nip this in the bud right away - we will not tolerate talking back in a sassy/disrepectful tone. Fortunately we have not had to deal with it much I think bc we've always talked a lot about making good decisions and what are nice ways to say things and not nice/naughty ways to say things. There is a lot of modeling nice talking and not nice talking - so she really gets what the difference is.
The best advice our pediatrician gave us is to have these discussions proactively in a neutral setting bc kids are more receptive to this guidance of expected behavior rather than in the heat of the moment following some unwanted behavior.
So we had these types of conversations a lot bc even at a young age we emphasize talking politely and having good manners. I do not respond to "Milk!" She knows to say "may I please have some milk." And just talking calmly and modeling for her what is a nice way of speaking to others from an early age and consistently seems to work. I do NOT find it effective when adults just say "excuse me? Try again!" Kids need examples and concrete examples of positive behavior to model themselves after - not just a stern response with a time out, etc. I think when this foundation is set and you know they understand and know what is expected then if the talk back/disrepectful tone happens there can be a warning and correction and consequence if it continues.
This is just my approach to parenting and discipline (guidance/boundaries/expectations) in general. I know it's not for everyone or for every kid but it works for us
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My almost 4 year old just started doing this too. So far my approach has been to say "Please talk respectfully to me" and sometimes I'll remind him of the exact words (i.e. "Mommy, would you please [fill in the blank]). I try to be patient and calm and not make too big a deal of it, and model respectful language when I talk to him. Most of these defiant phases tend to pass eventually, and I don't want this to become a control issue. But I hear you - super annoying!
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