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The rule in my house was once you turned 13, you were responsible to make dinner one night a week - boy or girl! I definitely don't think the chores assigned to us as kids were impacted by gender. And I'm glad DH was raised similarly - he cooks just as often as I do, and cleans the kitchen more than I do! We definitely are 100% egalitarian when it comes to household balance and I couldn't be more pleased with how we work together.

I plan to raise my son so that he knows how to cook, do his own laundry and in general take care of himself by the time he moves out.

I tend to think of chores as a means of teaching certain basic life skills so your kids don't fall apart in college or adulthood and less a gender thing. Plus I think it just reinforces the value of working hard and responsibility to yourself and your family, in general. So learning how to cook a few basic meals, cleaning, laundry, setting tables, and basic car maintenance should apply to anyone. But I think its okay if certain kids gravitate towards certain chores more than others. If I have a daughter who would rather cook and clean than do lawn maintenance and garbage, I think that's just fine.

DH and I split up the chores based along those lines too. For instance, I do the shopping and cooking because I like cooking and DH doesn't know how to do either. I clean the kitchen and bathrooms because DH doesn't know how to clean them in a way I think is necessary (he literally doesn't see the dirt). He does the dishes, laundry, trash, ironing, and vacuuming because I hate doing those chores and always have. We both hate yard work, auto maintenance, and general house fixing, so we're happy to contract out for those things.

I think we'll just decide what the "kid chores" are and they will include helping me cook and helping dad with the lawn. I grew up in a pretty traditional household where my mom cooked and did laundry and my dad took care of the trash and yard. And that's the sort of marriage I'm in now (although I think in both cases it is out of preference. I'd much rather cook than mow the lawn personally). But that didn't mean that my mom didn't send my brother to the grocery store for her or have us both help with laundry or have us both help my dad with yard work.

I think gender equality is really about a lot more than chores. I do think we'll try to make chores "equal" but I don't worry too much about the kid(s) seeing us taking on more traditional gender roles because I think it is pretty clear to anyone watching that my husband and I are equal partners. We have equal respect for each other. We make decisions together. My husband would tell you I'm smarter than he is. So I don't think I'll worry too much if my daughter grows up to prefer taking on the cooking in her own house as long as she has self confidence that she is just as smart and capable as any man, despite what she chooses to do with her time.

I think we'll just pick out the kid's chores and make them have a rotating chart of some kind, so they can't bitch and moan! We'll see how it works. I know that DH and I have some "traditional" chores--I cook, he takes the trash out. BUT we prefer it that way. I prefer cooking, he doesn't mind taking the trash out. He does the grass...i hate doing that.

It's the tip of the iceberg, IMO, but it's certainly something to consider

I worry about this when DD gets older. Our chores are not equitably split, and although DH really stepped it up during the first few weeks after DD was born, he's slipped back into old habits. He was never expected to do any cooking, cleaning, or other chores as a kid and wasn't taught how. So now he "can't" cook because he's "bad at it." He's only comfortable doing his own laundry because he's "afraid of doing it wrong" if he tries to do mine. It drives. Me. Nuts. My parents split all the chores, if anything my dad did more (most of the cooking, half the laundry, cleaning, yard work, etc) so I really get annoyed with how much falls on my shoulders.

I want DD to grow up seeing more like what I saw, and to be fully capable of doing household tasks herself. I really think my in-laws did DH a huge disservice. I just don't know how to spur him on to actually do some of this stuff...

This is interesting!

DS is an only boy, with a brother on the way. There won't be any girls to do "girl chores", so they're stuck with them.

DS does most of his laundry (I have to reach buttons for him and reach the clothes out of the washer for him.), and I make a point to teach him how to cook and bake because my husband is clueless about anything food related. I'll make a point to teach LO his laundry (DS has been "helping" me since he was itty bitty) and the same things.

In that, I agree with @Mae: with showing my boys how me and DH do take on traditional roles in our house. But, I do all the inside stuff, and DH does things outside, and really it's balanced...his 50% is just more masculine than mine.

Plus, I'm good at cooking! Landscaping...not so much!

Only my sisters lived with us, so we all did everything - lawn care, dishes, auto maintenance. DH grew up in a VERY stereotypical Latino family where the sisters still do all the cooking and cleaning for the brothers who still live at home (who are in their 30s) and for everyone when we go visit. But DH and I have a pretty even split on household chores and plan to raise our children to be self sufficient.

I think modeling gender equality within your home is the easiest way to teach it. Does it surprise me at all that basically 100% of the people on this thread just happen to like doing the chores they did growing up/that were modeled for their particular gender? Nope, that's how it works.

Both DH and I grew up with dads who cooked and cleaned and did laundry, and not surprisingly, my husband (and my brother) both like to cook.

Very interesting! We were just discussing this the other day. My husband made a comment about about how we aren't doing a good job modelling equal chore sharing. He had some good points. Growing up, my dad worked out of town, so my mom had to do everything. I remember her mowing the lawn seemed to be a big thing. And when my dad was home, if there was a female in the house, he would call us away from anything we were doing to have us microwave leftovers for him. So, I feel privileged to not have to mow the lawn.

I would like to teach my daughter that women can do anything. To be fair, I can and have changed my own tires. You don't NEED a man to do those things. But it sure is nice. And I would like for her to grow up and know that it ain't a big thing to expect your husband to prepare a meal or change a diaper. And I think we do a good job of modelling that.

My family and DH's family both had a fairly gendered division of chores in terms of what our parents did, but my family divided chores up fairly equitably in terms of the children. We all learnt how to do laundry, iron, cook, mow lawns and do basic household maintenance. Once I moved out of home, I really appreciated knowing how to do basic home repairs and meal plan! I don't think my FIL ever bathed my husband, changed a diaper or cooked a meal in his life, so that was a bit of a contrast in our upbringings. Fortunately, modelling these skills for our children is a priority for both of us.

I think our current division of chores is reasonably equitable. I cook during the week because of our work hours, DH cooks on the weekend. Each of us irons our own clothes. Laundry, vacuuming, dishes etc we split evenly. For the most part, day to day care of our daughter is split evenly, DH does daycare drop off and keeps track of everything to do with that, I track all her medical appointments and clothing/gear needs. All of it has evolved over time, partly in response to our work schedules.

@Weagle: YES! Complimentarian high five!

@gingerbebe: totally agree on the whole "princess-y" thing although I hate to think of myself that way haha. I think of it more as appreciating chivalry. And it actually took a little bit of time for us because my husband grew up in a family where his dad is…. not chivalrous. lol. So he didn't really "get it." But I grew up watching my dad always get gas for my mom, carry the heavy stuff, shovel the drive, etc. Having my husband do the "gross" jobs and carry the heavy stuff and get gas for me when we're out together make me feel taken care of and I like that, personally. And I take care of him in ways that make sense to me (packing his lunch every day, running errands to pick stuff up for him, etc). I feel like it's sort of unpopular now to be okay with some "traditional gender" stuff. But realistically-- I'm attracted to men. And not just because they have a penis. If that was all I was looking for I could buy it for $19.99 online. Those "masculine" traits are what are attractive to me about men, and my "feminine" traits are what are attractive to my husband about me. If men and women were all exactly the same then wouldn't we all cease to be gay or straight? Unless our attraction was 100% based on sex, which I don't think it is. In terms of equality I think equal respect, opportunity, and allowing each person to be who THEY want to be is important. But I don't personally care for trying to erase all boundaries between "typical male and female traits." (although I respect those who choose to live differently!)