Hellobee Boards

Model, model, model. When YOU are frustrated, tell him, and explain how you're coping.
"Grrr. My coffee spilled. I'm so upset I'd like to throw this cup. But I'm going to take a deep breath instead. Can you take a deep breath with me to help mommy deal with her big feelings? "

"You feel frustrated and angry. You wanted that page to rip out and it didn't work the way you wanted. It's ok to feel frustrated, but it's not ok to say you hate something. Say 'that made me frustrated.' Would you like a hug or would you like to stomp your feet really hard?"

"You feel angry at me. You may feel angry but you may not use unkind words "

There are some good Daniel Tiger episodes about this.

DD will be 5 next week and Daniel Tiger is still a huge part of our lives for these types of things. Some of the ones we use:

"When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to 4.... 1...2...3...4"

"When you feel frustrated, take a step back and ask for help"

"Mad, mad, mad - it helps to say you're mad"

We do a lot of talking about how to express our feelings. We talk about things we can say out loud to others and things we can say to ourselves to help. Like the previous post we try to model that - I never hide my frustrations from her. But I try to walk her through how I feel and what I do to deal with.

Also we try to remain as calm as possible when responding to these types of things. We always acknowledge her feelings and give strategies for calming down and dealing with it. But we do not allow her to be mean or rude to us (or her friends, teachers, herself, etc.). Also we don't allow certain words to be used and she knows there are consequences for those words (hate and stupid being the big ones)

I was responding to say Daniel Tiger but it looks like other posters did just that, lol.

These are good tips. My son is the same way. Yesterday during dinner he fell because he was dancing on his seat, hurt his leg. So he screamed he hates pizza, through it across the room. Then I sent him to his room to cool off he yelled that he hated me. It’s driving me insane so I’m going to try these tips. He’s very quick to temper and start spewing insults.

@caitcat: same here lol DT was great then she got annoyed when I start quoting him too much lol.

Totally a grumpy troll over here with everything too haha. And she is a little perfectionist too. I def try to teach her we can fix mistakes, or work with something imperfect, etc. Sometimes I simply just acknowledge it’s frustrating that’s happening... She usually gets over it, plus I think it’s pretty normal development for their age.

@josina: "I expect you to be kind and to use words that help the people around you feel safe. If you can't do that I will give you space to be alone"