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It never bothered me that my mom worked. We stayed at my grandparents' house while my parents were working. My great aunts and uncles lived right across the street, so there was no shortage of family around. If we got bored with one house, we went to the other. I know that's not a common situation, but it was a great way to grow up.
My mom worked 4 days a week when I was really young, and she would stay home with me on Fridays. When my brother was born, she went to working a full 5 days each week. My parents had very consistent work hours and picked us up between 4:30 and 5:00 every day.
My parents were pretty involved with our activities, so I never really felt like I missed out on anything. They were at all our after school meetings and events. They weren't able to come during the day, but that didn't bother me. If we got sick or needed to leave school early, we had other family around that would pick us up.
I would say that my mom was a really great mom, but she didn't have the best work-life balance. My dad didn't help out much. She did all of the cooking and helping us with homework, baths, etc. She never took time for herself. I remember times when I wanted to play in the evenings, but she was too tired.
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I didn't mention this in my first response, but my at least one of my parents showed up for anything I did. Having my mom work outside of the house did not equate to lack of support. My dad was there when my mom couldn't be and vice versa. My WOHM volunteered at my school and went on fieldtrips; for the things that interested her she took off work and showed up. She helped with some school projects, where as my dad was the everyday homework helper.
I looked to my dad just as much as my mom to meet my basic needs. Kids are selfish beings living in their own small world. I would have loved both my parents to be available 100% of the time whenever I deemed their presence necessary. I'm not scarred because either of them worked.
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My dad has been a railroad engineer and on call 24/7 since I was 3. My mom worked from the time I was born until I went in to first grade, and then she stayed at home, picking up some babysitting when i was 12, and then WOH part time when I was 14. When I was in HS she started working full time for an oral surgeon so she had some long days. I watched my brothers and made dinner (or my brother did) at that point. She was involved in EVERYTHING when i was growing up, to the point that I wished I was in some activities that she wasn't a leader of. She managed to make it to nearly all of my games and events in high school; i don't remember feeling upset when she had to miss the occasional school thing due to work.
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@Madison43: My mom did both over the course of my childhood. I actually liked when she worked out of the house, because I could go to daycare, which I loved. My parents both WOH, and always made it to events, concerts, etc. We also were able to take vacations a few times a year, because they were both bringing money in.
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My mom WOH but we had my grandmother living with us so we were never in daycare. I think that had its pros and cons. I loved spending that much time with my grandmother but I think having some more social time with friends would have been good for my development.
My mom and dad always showed up to all of my after school events (they didn't do during school events though) and they drove me to various lessons like piano/swimming/etc.
I think the biggest thing I didn't like was that because there was no school provided transportation starting at age 10 and you were expected to take public transit, my mom insisted on picking me up. So I had to wait around for 1 hour after school for my mom to come get me and I hated that. As an adult now, I realize what a big challenge it was for her, but as a pre-teen I hated it.
I think having her work really inspired me and I'm glad she did.
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