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The F*ck It Diet" by Caroline Dooner

  1. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    @hitchhiker: I did, I’m actually going to listen to it again. I wish I had it in print because I think I missed some stuff on the audio but her voice wasn’t annoying and that’s important to me

  2. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @hitchhiker: I've done both and I like each for different reasons. Print is great for a first read to really grasp the concepts and di the exercises. I am listening to the audiobook the second time around and really like putting her voice to the words and it's been reinforcing what I am doing.

  3. hitchhiker

    apricot / 399 posts

    @gotkimchi: A good voice is important! I have quit many audiobooks because I find the narrator annoying...

    @crazydoglady: Thanks! I have a feeling I would regret not having the book, but I have so little time for reading (and such a long list) and also a long commute. Maybe I'll start with audio and then get the book.

  4. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @hitchhiker: That would be a good start! Definitely
    start with the audiobook then. I bet you'll be motivated to find the time to read the book after.

  5. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: @gotkimchi: How are you guys doing??

  6. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: Sorry, last few days have been nutty!! Your "novel" really resonates with me as well. We didnt have a lot of "junk" food in my house growing up because we had a really tight budget and so if my parents did splurge on ANYTHING of the sort, my four siblings and I pounced on it. You know that gross ice cream in a bucket? It would be gone in a couple of days and we would eat as much as we could because we never knew when we would see them again. I was always desperate for sweets. It was a feverish, mad dash to get as much as you could even if it made you sick.

    My husband had a candy drawer in the house that he and his brother could have 1 thing from after dinner. His mom didnt dole them out or police the drawer. When my husband told me about it, I was incredulous. Like "how was it still there?!?! Like didnt you just eat it all???" And he said "no, it never occurred to us because we knew it would always be there. " I always chalked it up to personality/ family dynamics and now I know it had everything to do with access.
    As for rest, sometimes I take a bubble bath when DH is home or take the kids to the gym daycare and just lay down on a pool lounger.

  7. HappyBaker

    nectarine / 2242 posts

    @crazydoglady: I just started reading it after also trying to get back to Ellyn Satter style eating with my kids - and the junk food thing is what I’m really working on. I just read a study of teenage girls where they tracked BMI (not the best indicator I know) of different groups who had different levels of access to snacks and junk food, and the girls who had unlimited access to whatever had the healthiest weights over time. I thought that was really eye opening because we feel like we are being “good parents” by making dessert a treat but that’s where all my own bingeing comes from! Case in point last week I ate an entire half gallon of ice cream in 2 days because I was planning to “be healthy” starting the next day! Hoping the book helps me!

  8. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    @crazydoglady: it’s really difficult! I go from feeling good to not wanting to be fat and everything in between. What I really want is to not care about food!

  9. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @HappyBaker: it is really hard for me to think about giving the kids unlimited access to anything. I have one kid who would go crazy! Like he would easily eat half a box of granola bars, or a huge pile of cookies. He’s an act first think later kid. But perhaps he wouldn’t do it all the time. I don’t know! But as above I have issues from how my mom regulated everything so I don’t know how to address.

    @crazydoglady: I haven’t finished the book, but overall I’m doing pretty well. I still have unhealthy thoughts of course but I’m recognizing them for what they are and trying to listen to my body. In the book I’ve been less interested in the emotional section ... it just seems too simple? I mean “just eat” is simple too but “just feel your feelings” doesn’t resonate as much. But maybe as I finish it I’ll get it more.

  10. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @HappyBaker: That study is so interesting! And, yes, I think that the book will be AMAZING for you.
    @gotkimchi: I've had (and continue to have) so many ups and downs, but there have been more and more days of peace with food and that is a start. The whole range of feelings is normal and that makes sense when you are reevaluating an entire value and belief system.
    @bhbee: I think the idea is to feel the feeling as opposed to trying to "figure it out" by analyzing it or conceptualizing it, but maybe that's something you already do.

  11. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @crazydoglady: hmm, I have no idea what I’m doing with my feelings

    Overall I’ve been feeling a lot more at peace with food too, but I think part of it is just life stuff - I definitely feed my stress day to day typically but this is a sad family issue that is taking up all my mental space so I’m not food focused. However I’m also (unrelated) staying at my mom’s for a couple weeks with the kids and that is ground zero for food issues and judgment so we’ll see how that goes!!

  12. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: I think the mental part of the book will be huge for you.

  13. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @crazydoglady: you are right, I started the mental section yesterday and this part resonates so much - I keep underlining things (because I have it on kindle I find it easiest to just take photos of pages and mark them up!).

    Being at my mom’s is definitely messing with me though. I’m feeling a lot less in control about food right now. I guess this is a good time to work on figuring out the whole formative beliefs part

    I’m also struggling some because I am off dairy for my nursing baby indefinitely. At home I can make food I really like that fits that. Here, there are 10 people right now (6 of them under 18) so cooking for my needs isn’t really possible all the time. Last night we had lasagna so I had a very sad salad (and then wasn’t offered a cookie like everyone else because I “need” to lose weight) and together that definitely made me feel all the things. I guess at least as a first step I am more aware now of why it feels that way, why one thing leads to another.

  14. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: Wait, who decided you "needed" to lose weight? Also, you are nursing a baby you NEED calories. Have you told your mom you aren't doing any of this BS anymore?

  15. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @crazydoglady: honestly no, I don’t think I can change all her crazy beliefs and I’m not sure it’s worth it (definitely not worth it to me right now). But I will eat the damn cookie if I want to

    Honestly there is SO MUCH CRAZY around food with her (and my whole family) that I never saw until the last couple years. So my main goal is to try to keep her from saying too much in front of my kids (especially my older girl). That I have said some stuff about because I really don’t want my kids to waste their energy on this kind of hurtful thinking.

    I posted this example on another thread once but there is so much talk about each baby’s weight (none of them have had a concerning issue). I posted a picture to our family shared folder of my cute baby around 6m. She has serious thighs that I constantly want to eat and the picture showed them off after they had been hiding more in winter. My mom’s comment was just “she is going to hate that picture when she is older”. I mean ... she is a BABY and that just really laid out to me how deeply ingrained the crazy about this really is. In a way those things are almost helpful because it helps me question what I grew up hearing.

  16. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: Ewww...That's awful. I totally understand you cant change your mom, but have you told her you don't want to hear any more diet/weight loss/ fat shaming comments? Especially around your kids?

  17. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @crazydoglady: yes, and I think she does a decent job in front of them most of the time. Now I need to work on my brother ... he mostly just refers to himself in comments (vs others) but I think that’s still damaging for the kids to hear. His kids hear a ton of that talk at home but I don’t want mine to!

    It just seems overwhelming once you start being aware of this kind of diet and body obsessed talk - it is just everywhere. It will feel like a major victory if I can help my kids have any sort of food neutrality.

  18. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    How’s everyone doing? I thought I was doing well but today we were getting ready for a wedding and the dress I was planning on wearing was too small and now I feel bad about my body and like I really want to diet and lose weight

  19. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6085 posts

    @gotkimchi: I couldn’t do it - not enough structure for me and I did want to lose weight. So now I’m on an IF-fuck it hybrid where I’m strict about IF hours but not strict about what I eat in the window. I’m not losing super fast but I’m happy with things overall and have seen some results in my clothes which is definitely making me happy.

  20. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @gotkimchi: I'm doing Intuitive Eating now and really enjoying it. It's based on the hunger/fullness scale. The focus is not on weight loss, but if you tend to eat when you arent hungry (I do!) that could be a side effect.

  21. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    @crazydoglady: what made you move towards that

  22. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @gotkimchi: Even though I started TFID in April/May, I still wasn't feeling at peace with food. That may also be due to my past eating disorder, so I decided to try IE which came highly recommended from my therapist. I know that Dooner worries that it can become a diet for some, but I am specifically following guidelines that don't emphasize weight loss.

  23. wrkbrk

    pomelo / 5084 posts

    @crazydoglady: I just bought the book based on this thread! Can’t wait!

  24. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @wrkbrk: Awesome! Despite the fact that I am adopting more of an intuitive eating mindset (Dooner discusses it in the book,) I can credit Dooner for me wanting to abandon dieting efforts.

  25. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    Well my 5yo just said I’m fat. She’s not wrong. Idk where to go from here

  26. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @gotkimchi: Whaaaaa??? How are you feeling about the process? I'm still somewhere on the range of TFID and instinctive/intuitive eating.

  27. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    @crazydoglady: idk I feel ok about food but bad about my body and I think I’m definitely eating to soothe. I really want food to be easy and to feel good about my body but I don’t know how to get there

  28. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @gotkimchi: I'm going to wall you in a bit!

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