My daughter, in a Chick Fil A restaurant restroom stall with my husband. Of course, she has to poop. As someone walks into the restroom, she says, "Daddy did you hear the smooshing sound? It's my poopy."
What's your latest gem?
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Driving today, someone kind of cut me off and I sighed, then said, "sometimes people are jerks when they are driving." My 3 year old responded "sometimes people are jerks.... Mommy this is my middle finger!"
I don't give the finger, driving or otherwise- and I'm not perfect, I've accidentally cursed in front of her, I'm just not one to give someone the middle finger- so it must have been a coincidence but I was dying laughing.
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Instead of calling it "Toys R Us," DS calls it "Toys R Me." HA!
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@matador84: hahaha! We went to TJ Maxx today and my kid kept calling it PJ Masks like the TV show
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DS has been fascinated with his new sister, including her eating. He regularly asks me, "Mommy, she eat your boobies?" I keep having to explain she's eating from them, but not eating *them*.
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@ShootingStar: haha! That reminds me of another one. I bought her this Elsa doll nightlight that she is obsessed with. On the way home from target in the car I hear her saying "these are her nipples. This is her hair. Her hair covers her nipples."
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@Foodnerd81: LOL that's great.
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B was asking me if I liked something, and I couldn't understand what he was saying. Finally he sighed and said "Mommy! It goes like this (flailed his arms around) and it has sooooo many legs!"
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My 2 year old is getting sassy. His uncle asked him if he could count to ten, so he says, "Ten."
Then in the car the other day I began singing and he goes, "Stop, mommy! Stop!" How rude.
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Out of the blue, K announces:
"I LOVE weiners. (long pause). Especially hot dog weiners." Thanks for the clarification.
She also told me I have the biggest vagina in the whole world. -
@Mrs. Oatmeal: Haha! Those made me laugh out loud!
Today I told A that it was time for her diaper change and she said "no way lady!"
At naptime B was asking about daddy and A told him that daddy was at work. Blake said "daddy not working. He just watching machine shows on the 'puter." He works at Caterpillar, so B thinks he just gets to watch machines all day!
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This morning, 6am, my son shouted from his bedroom "MommyDaddy! I have poop in me!"
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I locked my 3 year old out of the bathroom this morning so I could go in peace (mean mommy). After realizing the door was locked, she sat outside the door and started singing "Do you wanna build a snowman?" She can be awesome.
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@Truth Bombs: my LO always calls TJ Maxx pj masks too!
Today we (LO in the stroller) ran a 5k. LO had her trash-talking A game on, as she told me:
"Why is my stroller going so slow?"
"Mama, is this your first time running?"
"Mama, do you know what a race even is?"
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We were getting out of the car the other day and our neighbour from a few doors down walked past wearing a burka. E pipes up "mummy, that lady is a bad, bad fairy". I've never been so embarrassed in all my life!
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She currently has a bit of a cold and yesterday her voice got raspy/phlegmy (like she needed to cough and clear everything out) and she kept saying "mama help me turn that off. make it stop!" DH and I were laughing so hard.
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"Mommy when the goldfish fell into my tummy and then it's going to fall out of my butt!"
"Mommy when Gracie is as big as me there won't be any more babies in the house"
"Yes, that's right"
"Then mommy you need to put another baby in your tummy!" -
@yoursilverlining: Haha! My daughter is always asking me to pick her up so we can "run together." Then she berates me for not running fast enough!
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@yoursilverlining: Ahahah! Nothing like a back seat runner to get u moving.
LO just started kindergarten a few weeks ago and bragged, "I have a zillion friends." Then immediately admitted, "I didn't really count them."
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Today at Walmart there was a middle aged man walking in front of us "dat an old lady there, mom?"
All week we were getting our house painted. He loudly referred to the painter as "painting guy" and asked questions about him all week. "What's painting guy doing, mom?" "Painting guy come to the park?" Etc etc.
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@yoursilverlining: haha!
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@PixieStix: hahahaaha my DD is 20 months and DH was singing to her in the tub and she said "No Dada stop it" lol
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We were in a restarunt and my DD told my husband "Look Dada Walrus!" well there was a giant man with a huge white mustache....lol
Definitely looked like a walrus -
This morning DD patted my butt a few times and said "nice buns". I had her repeat it because I thought I heard her wrong and she confirmed that's what she said. No idea where she got that from!
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Agh so many lately! In the back of the car and a ray of sun was in and out of his eyes and he said "No mommy - stop being sunny!"
He calls hippopotamus hippotomotamus - such a small difference but so hilarious when he says it.
He calls computers cucumbers - "want to watch peppa on mommys cucumber?"
When we ask him if he wants a little brother or sister "hmmmm...maybe........but maybe not.....but maybe" -
H has started to notice her body and her lady parts. She asked her dad what it was, and he told her it was a vagina. She said, "I like vagima!" and he said, "Daddy likes vagina too" without thinking. So the next time we call his parents, she gets on the phone and screams "DADDY LIKES VAGIMA!!!" and I thought we were all going to die laughing.
She also grabbed his penis (he was wearing ball shorts) and very seriously asked him why he pooped in his pants and told him he better clean it up.
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We were coming home from school and saw our postman, it was someone new. He appeared in his mid-30s and was Caucasian. Dd1 said, "hi! Are you my grandpa?" We're Asian. The new postman did not appear too impressed with that question
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@avivoca: OMG, that just reminded me...yesterday when my husband and son were about to get in the shower "Daddy has a BIG PENIS - Mommy and Aaron have little penis"
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E is crawling up to me, and B gets in front of her and goes "Stop! mommy is mine!" then, after a pause "daddy's yours!" I guess it's nice he's good at sharing?
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I am pregnant and really feeling it these days. Yesterday while walking, LO and DH got ahead of me and then had to wait a bit for me to catch up and LO says, "Mommy, you are so slow sometimes." Ouch.
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DD started recently saying something that's pretty much the F word, but no one around her curses, ever. I vetted "fork", and recently I feel like she decided to call "clock" the f word?! But she had been saying clock for a long time... Then I thought she decided to morph quack into the f word... I'm still trying to get to the bottom of this!
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these all made my day
DS 1 likes to cook for us in his kitchen, so he goes "and now I have another course for your menu" in a snooty waiter voice... we watch too much Food network
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We've had 2 gems lately:
we were at her BFF's birthday party on Saturday and her BFFs mom said "You two have been playing very well together today" and my daughter responds "Obviously Rebecca, we are best friends. don't you know that?" Her second one was at the same party and I was trying to take her long sleeve shirt off without removing her cheerleading dress and she goes "this is way too sophisticated for you to do without me getting naked"
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My 2 year old is slightly speech delayed and he's in that phase where he points to things and wants me to tell him the word for whatever it is that he's pointing to. Yesterday he was eating a popsicle and points at it so I said "POP-SI-CLE. POPSICLE!"
He looks at it for a minute and then goes "POOPSICLE!!"
He also recently pointed to a box of Cheerios and I said "CE-RE-AL. CEREAL."
He replied: "Ce-dee-dee-de-ul."
Puzzle is "pubble." Not to be confused with "pah-pool" (purple) or "bah-bool" (bubble) or "ah-pool" (apple).
Also, I have no idea where he got this from, but his gibberish generic word for an object is "caca." So he'll yank a toy away from his brother and mutter to himself "MY caca" or he'll leave a room we're in and say "byyyye caca" as he's shutting the door. But he also uses the word "caca" for poop, so I don't know what the logic is there.
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@snowjewelz: Frog and fork both sound remarkably like the F-word over here.
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She was in the room when I was changing and said Wow! Mommy your boobies are getting as big as your belly.
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@gingerbebe: haha, my youngest went through that phase! She would call poop akaka, but also anything she really liked. Like, if I put on a new blouse, she'd pat it, smile and start cooing "akaka, akaka!" Whyyyy?
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DD just yelled "I farted!" Really loudly in the doctors office waiting room....
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@Cherrybee: omg. A few months ago we passed a (Muslim?) man in the grocery store wearing a robe, clearly from religious activities and my LO says "mama look, why is that daddy wearing a dress."
Mortifying.
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@avivoca: omg! This has also happened to us! "Daddy, are you pooping you pants?"
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