Recently a friend of mine had a birthday dinner of about 30 guests, including personal, church, and work friends at an upscale restaurant patio area (private).

The evite was from her husband and basically said she wanted to have dinner with her closest friends to celebrate.

My husband and I both got the evite so we both attended, mind you kids were not allowed so I had to get a sitter for my 3 kids. That was fine with me, it was nice to have a night out without kids. We knew over half the guests so it was an overall fun night reconnecting with everyone.

Anyway, we get there and it's open seating so we sit with some mutual friends and appetizers are provided. Then, we order our drinks and meals.

Dinner/party is over and we are about to give hugs and say our goodbyes, and we're told by my friend's husband "So we got the appetizers and the server is going to come around and give bills for the rest of the drinks and meals, per table." We all just kind of looked at each other and waited around for our bill. Seriously it was awkward because some of the guests who arrived a bit late ended up seated with people they didn't know and then had to go over a receipt trying to figure out which couples owed what. Ugh. Also some people ordered salads/water and others ordered more substantial stuff so it wasn't an easy "lets just split 3 ways" sort of thing. Isn't this tacky?! The servers seemed annoyed by then too haha.

Also, some people, including me, brought gifts/cards. Knowing in advance the price point of the restaurant, I got her a gift card to cover our food cost and more.

Our friends are working professionals, well established in their careers, and both her and her husband each make over 6 figures so it's not like this was wayyyy out of budget if they had wanted to plan for a party..... I just wish it would've been said in some way in advance that we are all chipping in. Or, if she wanted a party with friends without the big price tag then she could've just had a BBQ/potluck..??

Anyway, just wanted to hear your thoughts. It's even more awkward because this friend/husband and most of our mutual friends went to another friend's 33rd birthday this summer at a pretty nice restaurant and they had covered everything, including drinks.. So I thought that was more of the norm? You invite guests, you host and pay? I guess I'm just a little baffled by it.