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@MrsJBeeG: First of all, thank you for your service... My DH is currently in the reserves after many years serving AD. I do understand how a stressful lifestyle (such as being an attorney in the military) would compound your situation and make you feel more uncertain over the future success of this pregnancy. As for this pregnancy, CONGRATULATIONS! I have gone through the same anxieties and my best advice is simply to live for today. (The same mantra the military supports ... One can't plan too far ahead as plans always change!
See how beautifully that worked for your "NTNP." ) At this very moment- you ARE blissfully pregnant and all is well. This pregnancy is not the same as your losses. Unless something (forbid it did) changes, this pregnancy is unlike the others and you should recognize that you have limited control to change the past. May I suggest, you may wish to see someone (a counselor or therapist) to whom you would be able to explore your fears with and productively come up with ways to cope? Each individual copes with loss and anxiety differently so you may need to find what is specifically therapeutic for you. Also, side note - please find comfort in knowing that cramping, which is similar to light AF pains, is common place in early pregnancy and, especially so, in 2nd and sequential pregnancies.

Best of luck and, once again, congratulations!

Pregnancy after a loss is hard. When I felt anxious thoughts creeping up on me the mantra "I am pregnant today" helped calm me and also reminded me what happens is out of my hands and to appreciate that particular moment of pregnancy.

There were milestones that definitely helped with the anxiety. The biggest one was getting past the week I lost my previous pregnancy. And then once the baby started moving around I was able to relax a little more. So this is to say, hang in there and it should get easier for you as the pregnancy progresses.

Congrats and good luck!

It's sucks - I'm sorry. I have no advice but I'm right there with you. I'm just trying to remind myself every day that I'm pregnant right now but it's hard to keep the anxiety away.

Big hugs - for me I had to just get through it. This last time was especially hard - sometimes I would tell myself the mantra, sometimes I would pretend it was not happening at all, sometimes I had nightmares about another loss, so clearly it was in my mind. I know you had a good dark test, that is a great place to start. Do you have a provider you like? My OB understood my anxiety and gave me an extra sonogram to help (I was 11w then, the time of my most recent loss). I felt better once we got the NIPT results but never truly relaxed.
Also it helps to just come here and vent! We used to have a pregnancy after loss group thread maybe there are people to revive it??

@MrsJBeeG: I could have written what you wrote. Honestly I had what felt like PTSD after a sort of late MC and D&C and I just could not relax at all in my 2nd pregnancy. I worried about everything, and it bordered on paranoia. I found a book by Rebecca Fox Starr Called Beyond the Baby Blues that helped me at least realize that I really had some trauma from the MC and what I was feeling was normal. Everyone tells me (including my OB) to take Zoloft but frankly that would have worried me even more (I'm a low-intervention person) so my personal preference was to trudge through this alone.
it's very very hard. Take it day by day and honestly just try to stay busy.

@MrsJBeeG: so many hugs for you. Something my therapist told me is that ya know what? You're going to be anxious the early weeks of pregnancy after your history and that's ok. It would be odd to fight it or deny it. So just accept well damn, this is hard and mornings are rough and I'm super nervous and just let yourself be anxious. That was comforting to me, to stop fighting it and "be relaxed" when, shit, it was a struggle every day.
Hope this helps, you are not alone.

My OB told me almost exactly what @pachamama said - it’s going to be stressful, so accept that and let yourself feel it. I had a MMC found at 12w in March and am now 21w with what I desperately hope will be my rainbow baby. It’s so hard, but especially after losses, it’s 100% natural and normal to worry. One day at a time! One minute at a time, when a day feels like too much to tackle all at once.