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I think at that age a lot of kids would have trouble sitting for long periods of time. I would try to start smaller- like something like going to a restaurant for a snack after he had just had a lot of time to run around. Work your way up to sitting for a longer time.

That said, I don’t have a ton of personal experience because my daughter is roughly the opposite- she is often not a great listener, at all, but from really young she’s been able to sit at restaurants and we took her to a kid friendly nutcracker at 2.5- but she was an exception to be able to sit for more than half of it.

We have been taking my son to church every week since he was born. 1.5-2.5 was the worst, but at 3 we know he can’t sit the whole time, but can remain quiet and play in a smaller space with his cars. I do think the ability to focus/ concentrate is a skill kids have to learn and I attribute a lot of his focus to his montessori preschool. But I’d start trying to let him find something and work on it in shorter bursts- 10-15 minutes at first to build concentration. As for being able to sit, I’d say consistently finding a way to practice is key. Do you have any family meals? Can he sit through them? Things like that.

My son is 2y7m and can't sit at all. Well, he will sit at circle time at daycare (seems like peer pressure there - he does a lot of things there he won't do at home!). Otherwise, no way. We go to church most Sundays and my husband and I just take turns with him in the back because he runs. I can buy a few minutes with a snack or toys but not much. He is a super active kid and seems like he actively wants to do whatever I DON'T want him to do.

Uh, all that sounds normal. I would not expect my kids to sit still for more than like 5-10 minutes.

I have two boys that are 20 months apart. Our eldest is 3.5 and our youngest is just shy of 2 years old. I MIGHT consider taking the kids somewhere in the open by myself at this point because DS1 can be verbally commanded a little bit more and can listen better, but with the 2 year old honeybadgering all over the place, its still a hot mess.

If my kids were your kids' ages, I would never take them anywhere unless I could keep them in a double stroller, a shopping cart, or to a completely enclosed space where they could tear around in opposite directions without me having an anxiety attack that they were going to kill themselves.

I also don't deal with crazy wild public tantrums well, so I just shut it down and leave if there's a problem, but that's just me.

Just as an aside, I will say that DS1 tends to be my easily overstimulated child. He has a lot of nervous energy (like things are always humming in his little brain), so he likes to run and jump and yell and shout and sing and chatter because it lets out that energy. Super overwhelming outside stimulation often leads to a really dramatic response - either he completely shuts down and doesn't wan't to participate (he leans towards introversion) - or he flips out into a tantrum because he's trying to release the pent up emotions inside.

Essentially, I've had to learn to pick the specific situations that will set him up for success. For instance, when DS1 was going through his cars/trucks phase, I made sure to point out all the firetrucks and buses and tractors we saw while driving. We still very frequently visit the train museum and the local Ag museum with all the tractors and wagons. The local bus depot is also nearby our house, so I would swing past it on the way home from daycare so he could see a big lot full of buses. We made sure to go to the local touch a truck event or meet a cop event because they had squad cars, ambulances, and firetrucks you could sit in and touch.

BUT at 2.5 I would never have taken my particular child to a monster truck rally because I already know that the noise and people and sheer scale of those events would be overwhelming to him. Even now at 3.5 he's noted whenever he sees a motorcyle that he finds them too loud. So for our kid, if the goal was to attend a Monster Jam at some point, I would probably do something like let him watch some YouTube videos on my phone, then scale it up to a video on our TV, slowly increase the volume on the TV, and chat through the videos. I'd walk through the etiquette for the events and explain in advance what will happen, pretend the couch is the stadium seating, give him a treat that mimics what he might have at the event (like popcorn), etc. And then I'd ask him if he'd like to attend one of these things live and see what he thinks.

For both of our kids, the most frequent place we will take them in public where they are expected to sit still is a restaurant. We usually start taking them out to eat around the time they can pinch finger foods and we literally do it to practice - both for them to learn to sit and be comfortable in a restaurant setting and for DH and I to assess. Our McDonald's and CFA with a play place is obviously great for kids, but in the last few years we've also figured out all the local places where we should and shouldn't eat with our kids and that makes picking restaurants to meet guests or family members at WAY easier and the experience much more pleasant for everyone involved.

@renee0106: If your son is really into Monster Jam, look into the pit party. It's the time before the show, where the trucks are all parked and the drivers are out. You can go and see the trucks, but you can't get inside or climb on them or anything, it might be a good entry into the experience. From what I know, you can't purchase just pit party tickets only, but I'd buy the cheapest seats possible and go to the pit party only.

Normal. We took our son to his first “show” around 2 and it was a deeeeeesaster. Also right up his alley, the Gazillion Bubble Show. But he wanted to be on stage in the bubbles, wanted to take his picture in the giant bubble NOW, not after the show. Didn’t want to sit in the seat. Etc.
Agree that we saw a huge improvement right around 3yo. We can now take him to any show that’s 1.5 hrs or less and he’s fine.

I wanted add that my preferred way of reducing the chaos when I take both kids in public is to wear the younger one. That way I can freely follow the older one when needed. The stroller is more stressful for me if the older one bolts.

My kid will sit still as long as she has a snack so we usually bring a snack cup to something where she has to sit. We go to stroller strides a lot and she chills in the stroller pretty happily for an hour, though I bring plenty of stuff for her to play with. It’s important for me to recognize the things I find fun, she doesn’t find fun, so stuff where we have to sit is just not that enjoyable for her, even if the subject matter is appealing. We went to Disney on Ice at 3y3m and she sat and was riveted for most of it, but my niece who is a year younger had a harder time.

Do you enforce sitting for dinner at home? That might be a good place to work on sitting for longer periods of time.