When DH and I originally started talking about having a family, he said he would prefer 2 kids but would be fine with 1 and the decision would ultimately be mine. I was very on the fence and figured that we would see how the first one went and it would hopefully give me more clarity. LO is now 7.5 months and we are hoping to decide whether or not to go for the second when he is around 1 yr old. DH is on the older side so we don't really have time to wait. The problem...I can NOT decide. My mind goes towards all the negatives....I had a pretty tough time with the newborn stage (reflux, tongue tie, PPD, and I have extremely high sleep needs so that was rough for me!) and I'm not sure I want to go through that again. Honestly, I really can't fathom going through the sleep deprivation especially since DS is still waking up 2x a night. I also feel so much love for DS and part of me doesn't want to share that love. I worry about resentment...what if LO2 turns out to be a great sleeper, will I hold a grudge towards DS? And of course the issue of, there's no guarantee the two kids will get along (my sister and I do not have a good relationship and never have). Or what if the second one is a terror and I regret having it (like my second dog!! Haha). Then there's the financial aspect of having 2 as well as the space issue (our house is on the smaller size). There are so many thoughts I have going back and forth. I feel like I'll never be able to decide.

If you were on the fence about having or not having a second, what helped you make up your mind? Are you happy with the decision you made?