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My mom came to visit 2 days before I went into labor (on my due date). She stayed for 3 weeks. My dad didn't see our LO until I flew out with the baby when she was 4 months old. The in laws didn't visit until our LO was 2.5 months old.

I would let your mother in law know what your parents are planning to do and ask if that's something she would like to do too?

If you really want to say something, say it along the lines of, "Just so you know, you're welcome to come and stay anytime..." Some people don't want to intrude and maybe just need that nudge or invitation.

I also understand what you are experiencing. For both my babies, my mom came out to help me after birth. MIL however never did. Money is not it either since they've been to Europe twice in the past 4 years I've had our daughters. And mind you, they are in CA and we are in NY... which is definitely on the way to Europe. They have only seen our DD's when we visit them.

I do chalk it up to her not being as close to my hubby as I am as close to my mom. I never made it an issue though as my relationship with her isn't close enough to warrant that sort of discussion.

I would say something along the lines of "DH and I have been talking about after the baby comes. My parents are planning to come XXXXX. We were wondering when you'd like to come visit."

I second what @navy_mom says. Tell her your trying to plan out your first few weeks, and find out if she plans to visit. We live far away from our families too, and found that they weren't planning to visit until we brought up the subject and told them when we wanted them to come. I think neither sets of grandparents wanted to step on any toes, so I had to take it into my own hands.

I agree about inviting her. Also she may be waiting to hear what your parents plans are so that she doesn't overlap a visit with them.

We live a few hours by car from both our parents. At this point, we've told them we are happy to have them come hang out at our house while I'm in labor, keep an eye on the pets, stock the fridge, do whatever they want to help us out, and come over to the hospital after the baby has arrived and we've gotten settled. But we do not want them staying at the house once we are released from the hospital, we want two weeks to get settled into our life as a family of three. After that DH will go back to work, and my mom will come up for a week or so to help, and if I still feel like I need help after that, MIL will come for a while if she has retired by then (supposed to happen sometime in 2012) or can take the time off work.