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we didn't have as far of a move, but it has definitely taken a couple months for my LO to adjust. for the first few weeks she was very sad about her old house, her old room (I want my pink room, not this pink room! I want my house, not the yellow house) - and I thought we were in the clear finally and last week she started up again. ugh.

my best advice is just do your best but try not to stress over it - even with all the prep in the world, it may not change how it goes. can she skype at all with them?

@travelgirl1: I just really had to keep saying "I know. You miss the red house. It was really fun. The yellow house is really fun too, with your playroom, and your bed, and your toys.." and just keep "hearing" her and reassuring her. she also followed me around like a shadow the first few days..so did the dog. sigh.

I think you should allow her to mourn the move. I agree that once she gets there, she will probably rebound fairly quickly, but right now it's a lot of unknowns for a little person. Similar to the recent discussion of when kids started getting "tenses" (past, present, future), I think it's a lot to expect a toddler to get excited about a new adventure that means leaving everything she knows. You definitely can talk about the new things she will see / do, but when she replies expressing sadness about the move, I would acknowledge her feelings and say that you know this is tough and you appreciate how brave she is being.

What about buying a few books you could read together? Here are some recommendations I found:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Berenstain-Bears-Moving-Day/dp/0394848381

http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Whos-Hear-Mean-Going/dp/0689820895

@travelgirl1: I think she needs you to validate her feelings! I know you (and especially your family) want her to be excited but moving is always a mixed bag. When she talks about how much she likes your current house, you could reflect that back and talk about things that you like/will miss too.

@travelgirl1: Do you think it might help if you let her know that you are moving permanently? I'm just thinking out loud here, but it seems like y'all could then talk about things she wants to do before she leaves, etc.

I think it's perfectly normal for her to be struggling. Just validate her feelings and reiterate that it's okay to be sad, but that you know she will love it. It's a lot of uncertainty for a little one (shoot, even adults struggle with moves).

@travelgirl1: That's a really tough one. I can't even imagine being in your shoes. I'll be thinking about you guys

@travelgirl1: oh I remember your situation! I am sorry it is time to leave. I am admittedly biased as a therapist but I think kids learn a lot about feelings from parents being able to share the mix of feelings they have in a situation like this. You can talk about how you are sad about x and y but think it will be exciting to do z, and let her share the same. And tell her that you will figure it out together. Sometimes I think as parents we want it to all be ok for kids to make ourselves feel better and that can be a disservice to everyone. Good luck!

@travelgirl1: yes I am a therapist for kids and families. Please wall me!

We moved a year and a half ago and her and bff still Skype and mail each other's pictures they colored and stickered for each other. And she still misses her.

We had a princess dress she had been wanting hanging on her new bedroom door and the first thing I did was set up her new room with all the same wall stickers, bed spread, decorations, etc to give her some sort of safe space. There's lots of unpacking to do, but we made sure to get out and explore and find playgrounds and cool new stuff. But at night especially she was scared and a bit sad (though she loves where she lives now, she just wants her bff to be here too). She was extra timid at her new preschool for a bit so I realized I needed to do a little more to help her feel confidant moving into a new setting (walking her in and waiting outside for min, looking for outside opportunities to play with classmates). It's a tricky balance of being understanding but not letting it become an excuse for bad behavior.

Before we moved we talked about the new house and people but didn't push it if she got upset. I'd say stuff in passing though so she didn't think we were not going to move anymore.