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Sorry, that does suck.

My grandma passed away on the 14th and I had to go to her funeral today. It was 4 hours away so we had to drive there yesterday, and drive back today, with an 18 month old..... And the funeral started at her nap time so we had to deal with a cranky toddler while mourning the death of my grandma. Yes, I'd say it was rough. Glad to be home though!

I'm sorry. I hope that the transition is easier than you are expecting. hugs.

I remember how it feels! It'll get better! Who knows...it might not even be as bad as you think. I thought it was like the world was ending (me going back to work), but it really was okay in the end!

Hugs!

I'm sorry! I hope tomorrow goes well!

I'm so sorry I was just getting weepy over this today and my baby isn't even due until next month! I hate the thought of going back to work. Most of the moms I work with felt/feel the same. That doesn't make it easier, but it helps me knowing that at least others understand.

@artbee: so sorry to hear about your grandma.

@highwire: going back to work is very stressful but once you get in the groove, it becomes habit. In regards to your libido... Just want to share that I hardly had any, until I quit breastfeeding and then it was insane. I think it had something to do with the fact that it was my body again, not just a milk factory.

@Highwire: (((Hugs)))I went back to work in December to a job I don't love (I am an attorney). I am not going to tell you it has been easy. Because it hasn't. But I can tell you that it is doable, and that knowing what DH and I will be able to provide for LO because I am working makes it even more doable. What I tell myself each morning is that the hardest thing I have to do all day is to walk out the door and leave BabyGloss, and that it is all downhill after that, and that seems to help me.

I also totally agree with @MrsTricycle in that the anticipation of going back to work was much worse than the actual event. While I miss her terribly, I find that there are moments I am so caught up in work that I am able to not fixate on how much I miss her, and that those moments occur more frequently now than when I first returned to work.

As for the pumping . . . *sigh*. I have needed to supplement pretty much since I went back to work, and now I am okay with the idea that while she gets mostly breastmilk, that she gets formula too, and that's okay. Pumping makes it difficult to plan work days and work events (like depositions and court appearances), and I am considering reevaluating my current efforts when LO hits 6 months (she will be 6 mos. in March). It's just too much, emotionally, for me to deal with (the constant stress of work, pumping, and worrying about my dwindling supply), and for sanity purposes, I may decide to stop pumping (and it's not like I have a freezer stash to fall back on either - that's another long story) and just BF at night/early mornings.

I write all of this not to discourage you - I just wish people had been more honest with me about how difficult it would be to go back to work, because I feel like I would have been better prepared emotionally. And it's okay if it doesn't get easier right away . . . it hasn't gotten *easier* per se, for me, but now that I know what to expect, I am much better prepared for it. It's also okay if it does get easier!

I will also say that not being with her during the day has made me incredibly *present* while I am with her.

@BabyJMama: Yep - pumping and worrying about supply can really take its toll . . . and I am totally in the sanity above all else camp!

@artbee: I'm so sorry for your loss.

@highwire: I hope you have an ok day today. I've heard it gets easier every day. I hope that's true for you.

Good luck back to work -- it will definitely be a transition. I have been back for 2 weeks, the second week was easier... It is awesome getting home and seeing the babe!

Pumping isn't ideal, but it's going pretty well. It's a nice little break that I think of as me time. I usually catch up on shows ( on my iphone or laptop) or get some Internet time in - it can be a pain but I try to relax and just chill.

You will be good, it gets easier!

@highwire: I'm so, so sorry you're having to deal with this. I've already had a couple of meltdowns about having to go back to work and I'm on;y 17 weeks pregnant!!! I think the worst thing is not having any choice about when you go back/ if you go back. The comments above are really comforting/ encouraging and I'm sure that once you get into the swing of things it wont seem anywhere near as big as it does right now. In the meantime, know that we're thinking of you. Hugs.