All these thoughtful adoption posts today had me thinking about one of my questions regarding adoption. DH and I have always been open to the possibility of adoption (if we ran into fertility issues) or completing our family via adoption someday (even if we didn't run into issues).
However, we have had a number of friends, co-workers, and acquaintances adopt domestically... And although we knew it was super expensive, I don't think we knew the true extent of it until recently. It is super sad that so many people interested in adopting will never be able to because of the cost.
Another big deterrent for me though is that it seems like the level of openness required (to be chosen) has increased significantly over recent years (from what I remember hearing about 10 years ago).
Also, because everything is so open, it seems like adoption has gotten super competitive. I read an acquaintance's adoption profile, and it seems like these parent profiles are heavily marketed to potential birth mothers, designed to compete with other families and almost tell birth mothers what they want to hear, including that they are open to any level of openness. At the end of the day, all these families I read profiles on seemed like such wonderful, loving families, so it breaks my heart that some could be waiting longer or rejected based on poorer “marketing efforts” or being honest regarding a lack of willingness to have the adoption anything less than 100% open.
Has anyone closer to the adoption process noticed these trends? Just as there are plenty of reasons to want an open adoption, I also think there are plenty of valid reasons to not be 100% in favor of an open adoption. Does anyone ever do a successful more closed-ish adoption anymore? I just don’t feel like I ever hear about that…