Does anyone else have trouble getting parents to adhere to your parenting style?
For instance: I personally prefer my son NOT be rocked to sleep. I don't want him in the habit of needing to be held until he falls asleep. However, my mom and MIL both joke about how they do it when I'm not around and I can tell a difference in him! He gets fussy when he's tired and won't stop until he's rocked.
No, it's not a big deal but only one of many issues I've had to address.
Another example: My sister doesn't want anyone to smack her LO's hand (for discipline) and my mother's response was "well I do." and that's it!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Because my MIL wouldn't adhere to my way of parenting (she, too, rocked LO to sleep even AFTER we nap-trained!) and after having to ask her twice to please do things my way, she wouldn't so I simply no longer let MIL watch LO without me or the hubs present.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Oh man. I'm afraid of this, as well. Thankfully it's mostly just my mom I have to worry about. She doesn't think babies need to be on their backs. :-\
I have no idea what to do about it other than threaten no more babysitting for them?
grapefruit / 4110 posts
The only thing you can do is not leave your children with them. If they do it in front of them nicely tell that they raised you/your hubs well but this is your baby to raise.
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
They are pretty good, although my mother feels it's more okay to let them cry than I do (we don't cry it out, so why would I let them cry when we aren't sleeping at home? That's double traumatizing!)
apricot / 277 posts
I understand everyone does things differently, I know they want to do things different than I do but my baby needs consistency! I hate to say it but I'm glad my LO will now be going to daycare.
pomegranate / 3414 posts
DH and I were just discussing this as we just spent the weekend with my parents. It is frustrating because the things they wouldn't of had any problems doing to me as a child (spanking me for running out into a street) they refuse to do with LO even though that is how we would punish her in the situation and have asked them repeatedly to do. My dad's theory is that he'll just tell me and let me punish LO, however that doesn't work because she won't associate what she did with why she's being punished. Very frustrating.
cherry / 178 posts
So far, this hasn't been an issue with my own mother (mostly because she lives 2500 miles away). But my ILs watch DS once a week and it does frustrate me when they don't at least attempt to try to stick to our nap time routine (the only thing I ask them to be conscious about). They allow him to fall asleep in their arms, on their shoulder, rock him to sleep, rub his head, put him in his rocker and rock him in it... when he should be put down in his crib while drowsy. It's true that there is a difference in baby after they spend time with him. I actually had a meltdown and SO and I had a huge argument over it last week. Finally, I decided I had to adjust my own mentality and try to think of their one day a week with them as an "abnormal" day, i.e., if I were to run errands with him, etc. Also, I've decided that my love for my son will just have to overpower my annoyance with ILs and not let them get to me as much.
pomelo / 5331 posts
My dad has repeatedly advised us to just let our 3-week-old son cry it out and revealed that's what they did with me from the very beginning -- as long as I was changed and fed, he'd let me cry myself to sleep. Thanks to that, he won't be watching LO anytime soon.