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@Zbug: oh wow, congrats!! I can imagine it's exciting yet scary but great news!

We've been trying for almost exactly one year. I've had two miscarriages, one at 6 weeks and the other at 9 weeks.

We have one LO, and I got pregnant with her right away, so this has been really unexpected.

I haven't been on much today cause we had a hectic evening, so I need to catch up on everyone's posts. But I'm on mobile right now so it's hard. But I did have my follow up today and it went great!

Doc told me I have to wait 2 cycles to try, which is what she told me last time. But when I told her that I never ovulated on my own again after my CP, she told me that if AF doesn't show 8 weeks after my D&C (November 23rd) I can take Provera to bring on my period. And I can begin another round of Femara that cycle! So whether AF comes on its own or it's induced, I will be back on the horse within a few short weeks!

A lot of my anxiety and depression has come from not knowing when I'll be able to start TTC again, and assuming it would be Feb or March before I had the chance since that's what happened last time. Knowing that hubby and I can try again as early as December is such a relief!

@Zbug: Congratulations!!!! Such great news, I was so hopeful for you despite your 10dpo test. Your feelings now are totally understandable, but I'll keep all of my fingers crossed for you

@KrzyRiver: I'm so glad you got good news today! I found that having a solid date in mind for when we would start TTC also helped with my anxiety/depression.

@jaguar: how are you feeling? We are all here for you.

@Zbug: congrats!!!

@Mrs. Champagne: @Shantuck: thank you!!!!

@jaguar: I'm sorry you're back here. I hope you're able to mc on your own soon. Waiting sucks.

I POAS last night hoping to see a negative. I was so sad that it was still positive. It's so crappy that two months ago i was so happy to see the two pink lines and now I just want it to disappear so I know my body is getting back to normal.

@delight: UGH, I"m so, so sorry that it hasn't been a straightforward process for you. Insult to injury.

Just came home to the sweetest card from my DH's cousin. She also sent a necklace with the Saint of motherhood and an extra charm for the patron saint of those who have suffered a miscarriage. I'm not catholic nor extremely religious but this made me cry!
Not to get too religious but I'll leave part of the prayer here in case anyone needs it. When I read it I thought of @delight for some reason.

"...comfort her now in her sorrow. Restore her hope for a child to come. Bless her with an abundance of love that as her body heals, so too may her heart..."

@LibbyLou: that is beautiful! And what a gorgeous cousin your DH has. Lucky you! I really want to get a nice necklace to remember our loss but want it to be perfect, so of course I haven't found it yet. Hopefully soon!

@noelani: hope you're going ok! Counselling last week was amazing - so therapeutic obviously! But she just seemed to know what to ask and I automatically just spoke out about so many things.

@LibbyLou: That's really sweet. What saints were they? I imagine Gerard...but there's a few possibilities for miscarriage.

One of my dad's cousin's sent a relic of St. Gerard after Gigi died. It was extra special because my dad's middle name was Gerard, and the relic was giving to my cousin's step daughter when she had a difficult pregnancy by my cousin's uncle (a priest) who baptized me, married my brother and parents, and was just such a treasure to our family. That not only made me cry, but my mom did too when I told her about it.

@Nutella: I wanted to find something perfect too, but I've ended up getting three necklaces as gifts, one from DH's friends, one from bees, and one from this sweet lady who helped us bury the baby. I wear the one from our friends the most because it has her name on it. It's not what I would have picked out as perfect...but it's perfect all the same.

It's like this one https://www.etsy.com/listing/253092224/hand-stamped-necklace-god-holds-you-in?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=God%20holds%20you%20in%20his%20arms,%20i%20hold%20you%20in%20my%20heart&ref=sr_gallery_4

I also have a tactile compulsion and it helps with that because it's perfectly rounded so I can rub my thumb over it when I'm stressed.

I ended up moving it to a fourth necklace I got though. Some friends sent me a 100 good wishes chain. http://www.dogeared.com/necklaces-100-good-wishes

(and holy crap. I didn't realize how expensive these gifts were until I googled for photos!)

The bees sent me a shooting star necklace because the priest at the burial likened her life to that of a shooting star. And the lady who helped us with the burial (she's a little kooky, but super sweet) gave me a handmade tree of life pendant. I wear the shooting star occasionally, but might just hang the other one in the room that was going to be the nursery. (it's similar to this but with fewer stones https://www.etsy.com/listing/101405110/tree-of-life-necklace-mystic-beauty?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tree%20of%20life&ref=sr_gallery_10)

AFM...I'm pretty sure AF is returning. I hope it is so I'll have some idea where in my cycle I am... We're not ready for me to get pregnant again, but it's hard to TTAvoid when you don't know what the hell is going on...

@LibbyLou: that's really sweet!

CD1 for me. I took the day off because the cramps were terrible and I treated them with leftover Tylenol 3 and woke up too high to drive.

I'm waiting for the emotional crash. But for now I'm happy to know where the hell I am in my cycle. It's hard to try to avoid when you don't know when to avoid... I think we'll be on hold until January or so. I'm hoping to get some testing run first to lower the risk of another loss...

@KrzyRiver: I have an order to have clotting factors checked. And we won't have the baby's test results til the end of the month. Once my cycle is normal, I'll have hormonal testing too. Around January, I should have a consult from a NaPro doctor. I don't really want to "try" until after meeting with them. They'll do more to look for issues

I'm back. Pregnancy tests have been getting lighter and are back to negative now. Just waiting to bleed - thinking it will happen when I stop the progesterone.

@Zbug: oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear that sending good wishes for a speedy recovery.

@Crystal: nice to see you again...I agree with what you say about this board. I feel like some boards/threads are not great for my mental state! But others are just what I need...we all have our own struggles of different magnitudes but it's comforting to know I'm not alone in some of the hurt and sadness... Sorry you're feeling down at the moment though

@JoJoGirl: ugh I hear you. When we got pregnant last year it was on a drunken weekend getaway. We weren't trying and it was so awesome to us. It sucked that it wasn't meant to be. TTC sucks. Especially after loss. I wish it could always just be easy.

@Zbug: I'm so sorry for you. This is so hard.

@jaguar: I'm with you jag. Monitoring my bloods down to 0. I went from 91 to 29 this week. I just don't understand why my body wants to hold on to this pregnancy that was always measuring so far behind. I'm bleeding a lot now so I hope soon I'll be down to 0. Bleeding for 26 days is no fun tho. I hope you get to 0 soon.

@Nutella: @delight: thanks, friends. Overall I'm doing ok, but I'm still having moments of overwhelming sadness and doubt.

@delight: I don't know if we would ever do IVF. DH is extremely worried about the cost. The more likely scenario would be proceeding to adoption. We still have some time/options, so we aren't rushing it.

@LibbyLou: oh, don't feel like it's karma...I'm sure the universe has your back