Hellobee Boards

@delight: I know! It's ridiculous, this waiting. Mine were so slow to rise... but yet so slow to fall.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to start a new IVF cycle before the clinics all close for the holidays... that would be devastating.

I'm poking my head in here -- CD1 after miscarriage #2, and my NP said we're good to go for trying again. I don't know if I want to go back to temping/tracking or just rest on the fact that my cycles are relatively regular and save some of the stress. Currently freaking out a bit that my dad is gonna be in town for the next two weeks; he should be gone by O-day but I was kind of hoping to try SMEP (without actually telling my husband because he'll feel too much pressure). Gonna have to have awkward parent-in-the-house sex, unless I find a way to send him out WITH the toddler in the evening sometimes.

I'm trying to not get my hopes up too hard, because we've been at this since May, but I feel like we can at least get started again, now.

@Crystal: The air mattress setup is right under our stupid squeaky floor but I might clean up the storage room downstairs and set the bed up there so it'll at least not be right underneath!

@MrsDragon: good luck! I know how hard it can be to ttc when there are houseguests! Hopefully you can get some quiet couple time in!

@jaguar: oh no, so sorry it's dragging out like this

@MrsDragon: Good luck! Hope you guys can figure something out.

@jaguar: I'm so sorry. Hope they go down again soon. This must be so so frustrating.

@Crystal: Good luck at your appt. Hope you get some answers soon.

I'm still waiting for AF to come back after my D&C a month ago. I know it hasn't been too long yet but I'm getting restless. Just want to get this show on the road again.

@Crystal: I commiserate. My co-worker (who is the only other woman in my whole office) is due in 4 weeks. Plus she's at the complain-y stage of pregnancy (which I totally get but...). It's hard.

@Crystal: Hah! The only shower IS downstairs; my husband is renovating the upstairs bathroom.

But I set up the bed today and put it in the other room in the basement, which is under our daughter's room/the hall closet moreso than our room. I don't really know how I'm going to explain why I moved it from the place we usually set it up, but whatever. Realistically I don't think we're going to be having all kinds of sex this week (I cannot believe how heavy this first post M/C period is!) and next week, if we do SMEP I don't want to really worry about starting until probably CD10 because I ovulate late and definitely don't want to burn out early. Mostly just trying to not overthink and freak out, because that never ends well.

@catlady: I'm having a hard time with complain-y people (at ALL stages!). If nothing else I'm learning that I will definitely be reeling it in if I ever get pregnant again.

@Crystal: good luck for the appt! Nerves are understandable. Also sending good luck for the shower! I went to a baby's birthday party the day after our scan showing no HB and I really hated how hard it was.

@catlady: hope AF arrives soon - that wait is excruciating. Mine took 41 days and was heavy

@delight: good luck for the blood tests, hopefully all out of your system soon!

@jaguar: bring on Tuesday & some answers

Ugh I have to go to a baby shower for my friend who is due a week after I woukd have been due. And another friend told me she's exoecting again (out of a group of six friends). Ugggghhhhh

@Zbug: Just saw that you were back on here. I'm so sorry. Sending hugs.

@Crystal: Didn't ask! Phew.
@Zbug: I'm sorry. That's a lot to deal with all at once.

I've been posting on the POAS page, but we're in our first TWW since the miscarriage.
Day one: FREAKING out. This cycle has been eerily similar to the cycle we conceived/miscarried and its killing me. I accidentally got glutened last weekend (which happened last time too, I have celiac disease and sometimes play it fast and loose at restaurants rather than making a big deal about it). I had only small amounts of EWCM, and I had to really check internally to see any- usually I have a lot more.

Hopefully I just won't get pregnant (I mean, or it will stick- but obviously my brain isn't thinking about that!), but I"m freaking out that I will inevitably miscarry again because it was a "bad" cycle to get pregnant on (with the gluten and what not).

Plus, we did EOD sex this time and it was HARD. When we conceived my daughter we did ED for like a week and it was fine. Obviously a lot has changed since then, and my poor, dear husband wasn't able to do it every day. So I'm also already anticipating months of torturous TTC high stakes sex.

Ok. Thats my anxiety ridden rant for the day. I will go back to sipping tea and trying to calm myself.
Hugs to everyone, what a mind fuck this all can be.

DH has no interest in "sex for procreation" at this point.

I think until I get more testing done (January or so) and meet with a NaPro doctor to look further into what's going on with me, we won't be "trying" persay.

I've switched to Creighton charting so it should be easier for him to read charts and know where in my cycle I am (I mean, it's green for infertile and baby stickers for fertile, could it be any easier?). I think we'll be NTNP until we can figure out what/if anything is wrong with me

@Silva: Me too. I hope we can quickly identify something that's fixable.

@Silva: funny I used the word "mindfuck" to describe ttc today too.
I also have a group of six friends with 3 pregnant and 2 just delivered. The 3 are right after my loss due date. And they're all on their second...it sucks sometimes.

I also keep comparing EVERY cycle to the one that worked. It's insane. Interested about the gluten- my DH has celiac as well- do you think that a trace of it caused the loss? (That's being 100% earnest- I know how horrible gluten is for your personal internal body). It's hard telling, I know but seems like it would be "easy" to pin it on that. Do you take activated charcoal when you get gluttenized? That's what DH does and it helps (?)

@Silva: I hear you on the high stakes DTD. I am not looking forward to getting back into it. I'll be freaking out with nervousness when we enter our first cycle back at it. @MaryM: I don't think we will be TTC until after we figure out what's going on with us. We have an appointment in December with the clinic.

My stupid HCG came back at 12. I have to go for another draw in two weeks. I finally stopped bleeding though so that's good. I just wish my HCG would go back down.

@LibbyLou: I do the same comparisons. It's impossible not to. I also have weird coincidences like I had dentist appointments when I was barely preggo for both losses, and I had dinner when I was preggo but didn't know it yet with friends we only see a few times a year both times as well. I need to get out of my head.

@Zbug: both times I miscarried I had just bought maternity clothes the day before. I know the two are not connected but if I get pregnant again I'm not buying mat clothes for a loooong time.

@Zbug: Same, I had to excuse myself from two and it sucked. I wish I could regain that excitement but I don't see it happening.

@LCTBQE: hello sunshine! Glad to see you - wish it wasn't on this board though, but I guess it's the best place for now
Did you decide to talk to your OB about whether you need to wait the full cycle to start again? Hope the spells of feeling crummy start to fade out soon