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@Shantuck:
so frustrating. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
@winniebee: two of my losses were 4-5 weeks, only one around 6 weeks -- they ALL sucked and were heartbreaking, and experiencing loss after loss DOES hurt, a lot.
I've been thinking of you a lot, and I hope you get answers soon.My appointment is next week and I'm getting that impending-doctor-stuff anxiety. I'm trying to not get my hopes up that anyone will DO anything this time but I hate, hate hate waiting. I don't think I could actually handle a three-month wait, so I'm hoping against hope that the doctor will say we can try again.
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Finally got FaceTime with my RE about blocked tube. Since I was "recently" pregnant (may/June/July) she feels like ivf can wait. We are doing monitored Clomid/trigger shot for at least 3-5more cycles. I've only done Clomid w/o trigger and no monitoring. Glad for the chance to actually see what is going on! I'm pretty happy with this choice and road to take...
Having said that a small part of me is like omg it's going to be at least 8months before I can do ivf. (Re said 3mos to prep for it plus bc of ectopic I'm only a frozen ivf candidate). 8 months seems like FOREVER away. I want to do as minimal interventions as possible but also want to have a baby like NOW so I'm torn if I should have went right to ivf.
Uhh just need to process it all and it's hard bc all my irl friends are fertile fucking myrtles. -
Well... spur of the moment thing, we DTD without abiding by the 'take three months off' plan. I know having sex once is likely not going to make me pregnant but I feel equal parts guilty and relieved, hah. My appointment is next week so I'm telling myself it's ok because I'm going to be asking to change the plan anyway.
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@LibbyLou: If you go the ivf route, does that mean no Clomid or other less invasive fertility type treatments in the interim?
@MRSDRAGON: Maybe this isn't the best attitude to have but unless there is some important health-related reason to take off time from trying, I would think that you and your husband would know best as to where you guys are mentally and when you are ready to try again. I'm one of those people who feels better getting back on the horse and trying again but some people do need time to process, etc. Not to be cliche but you gotta do you. However, this is coming from the person who still tried during my post-D&C cycle despite being told my doctor to wait because of likely swelling of the uterus following the procedure.
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@Shantuck: no health related reason aside from the tenuous connection between stress & fertility -- it was more of a mental health break, but I feel like NOT being able to try is causing me more mental health strife than being able to try. I am totally emotionally ready to try again, and given that the last loss was a CP I feel like I should be physically ready.
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@MrsDragon: hope appt goes well next week& they don't berate you! I feel like if it's for your mental health, maybe you're the one who can make the call!!
I know what you mean, I like the idea of trying vs bit doing anything...got to be in to win right?!
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Well FET #8 is done... transferred a blasty yesterday afternoon, and now we wait.
Please please please let this work. *tired*
We nicknamed our emby (as you do, haha) .. this is Olaf.
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@jaguar: everything crossed sooooo hard for you!!!
(I've been reading your blog since before you had G!)
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@jaguar: I have absolutely everything crossed for you!
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@jaguar: Olaf is a beauty!! Lots of love and luck!
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@jaguar: Good luck! Olaf looks great!
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@jaguar: that is so cool! Fingers and toes crossed for you.
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Thanks guys! I am trying so hard to be hopeful!
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@jaguar: hi Olaf!!
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@jaguar: he's a beaut
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@MrsDragon: there's no physical reason? I think I was under the impression they wanted you to hold off for something about the lining or maybe to do testing, stuff like that. please, please don't feel any obligation to follow their instructions about *your* mental health. their solution sounds like one-size-fits-all standard issue stuff... if it doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't, period. everything that @Shantuck said. (I know it definitely wouldn't help me to wait it out--both times when I was told to wait after a m/c it made me frantic.) I know your doctors are trying to help you, but there's no reason for them to put you in time out. I hope you feel empowered to do whatever you want to, now. and it's great that you guys did it
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@jaguar: wow, go Olaf! Fingers and toes xd for you!!
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@jaguar: Yay!
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@LCTBQE: No physical reason at all that I've been told -- which is part of why it's so frustrating, because they're a) not doing testing or anything to find out if there IS a physical reason this is happening, and b) telling me I have to wait. So I'm spending time sitting idle, and nothing is happening to uncover any potential problems because they think it's still bad luck -- and if it's bad luck I should be able to try!
That, and the NP who told me to do this is now gone from the practice, so I'm floating around without a consistent provider again. I'm hoping next week's doctor doesn't suck. If nobody's gonna do anything I'm just going to have to try again, and if I have to deal with another loss then maybe friggin' FOUR will count.
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@MrsDragon: I hate the wait a month or two rule, especially if there is no stated reason - once I was told for dating purposes once I get pregnant again. Please, we all know that we track and obsess, so knowing when you conceive is like...second nature....lol.
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@jaguar: good luck!!
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@MrsDragon: oh man if I was told to wait for no reason I'd be super stressed. Time is of essence! We had to wait three months after our D&E and it killed me. Remind me, have they done any testing on you? Good luck with your appointment this week. Standard blood tests at least can tell you about your hormone levels. Wishful thinking but maybe even progesterone is all you need? Hang in there and don't feel guilty or anything about "trying" this month. Sometimes it does only take once. And all of us here could use a little miracle.
@LibbyLou: Good luck with a new plan this month. I hope triggering and Clomid work for you. It'll be good to be monitored as well! I know what it's like to want to be pregnant NOW and to have all your friends get pregnant so easily. It's so frustrating. Hang in there.
@LCTBQE: how are you doing?! When is your next appointment?
@jaguar: how are you feeling lady? I'm keeping everything crossed that Olaf is snuggling in so tight! -
Thanks everyone.
I'm so glad there's people who 'get it' because my medical people sure don't seem to...@delight: No testing. The NP said that because last time I wouldn't have known I was pregnant unless I was testing, it didn't 'count' for testing (but counted enough to ban me from trying?). I'm going to ask if this doctor will do progesterone testing.
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@MrsDragon: I'm a rule-following person who puts a lot of trust in doctors and western medicine, but my conclusion is that waiting is worthless (I guess except for said timing purposes which only apply to people who don't chart like we do). I get so frustrated on your behalf reading your updates about their breaks in logic, like above. And, my personal experience is that waiting the full cycle like a good patient resulted in disaster, and disobeying them resulted in a sticky pregnancy that (so far) has been perfectly good. So WTF. Anyway, I'm glad you guys did it this month and hope it worked
@delight: my appointment is tomorrow and will be 10w4d. my queasiness started easing off a bit last week (like 2 days fine, 1 day nauseated) instead of the all-day full-on that I was having weeks 7-9. can't tell if that's bad, or normal for this stage. if anyone can recall from their LO pregnancy, I'd love to hear how and when the m/s dropped off for them.
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@MrsDragon: obviously, you need to do the best for you. I will say that I got pregnant two weeks after my CP. I was actually still spotting a tiny bit, but had a positive opk and EWCM so we went for it. I was shocked when I got my bfp, but I'm 11 weeks now and everything looks good so far. A CP is so early that I'm not sure what the need for waiting would be - especially since tons of women who don't track like we do probably have CPs, don't ever know and try again the best cycle. Just my two cents. Good luck!
@LCTBQE: haha I was googling "nausea diminished at 10 weeks" last week! It came back a few days later, but I still get longer breaks in it than I was getting. I read a 11 weeks pregnant blurb last night, and it said that you might be feeling more normal by now. My guess is that you're fine, but I know it's impossible not to worry. Good luck tomorrow!
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@LCTBQE: I wasn't very nauseous with my first, but with my second I was pretty nauseous from 6-10 weeks and it started to taper right around 10-11 weeks. And he's perfectly healthy
Good luck at your appt!
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I feel like if I don't wait, and I experience another loss, they're gonna be like "it's because you didn't wait." But I ALSO feel like if there is something physically wrong, and I wait, I'm going to STILL potentially have another loss, and all I did was waste time. So I'd rather play with fire, I guess, and speed things along. I'm debating just flat out telling the doctor that I will not be waiting.
And all I want is some friggin' blood tests! I don't even care about a referral right now -- just do the hormone tests, and whatever other bloodwork can be done. They've taken a million vials of blood from me since August anyway. If I were in the States I could pay a private lab to do it. Ugh.
I personally am a kid that was conceived right after a miscarriage -- my mom's doctor back in the '80s told her to go try again ASAP, and then there was me. So I know that people CAN have successful pregnancies after loss, and I know that I am not dealing with issues like healing after a D&C or waiting out meds from my system. I feel like my hands are tied and I can't get a consistent answer out of anyone other than "this is just bad luck." But I guess being angry might help me this week to advocate for myself, hah...
@LCTBQE: I think for a lot of people the nausea fades out as you get closer to the second trimester! For me it stuck around until about 16 weeks but definitely got better earlier than that.
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Oh! I was also going to ask if anyone has ever used Vitex. It would again, probably, be playing with fire because I would be taking it on my own, unless I drive three hours out of my way to talk to a naturopath, but I'm curious about its effects.
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@MrsDragon: I took vitex for awhile. It moved up my O date from cd17ish to cd14 and lengthened my LP to 13-14 days. I never had a LP problem in the past, but it was shortened due to bfing. I actually stopped it after my CP in November bc I stopped bfing in October, so I ended up getting pregnant without it. It definitely straightened up my cycle though.
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@delight: Going quietly mad. I want this to work so bad it hurts.
@MrsDragon: Waiting makes me angry. Anger is not good. Do what your gut tells you.
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@MrsDragon: It would drive me nuts to have to wait if I didn't want to and the docs didn't have a really good reason. I've waited an extra month both times like they asked but I remember asking what would happen if we "accidentally" got pregnant right after a miscarriage and my midwife said it would probably be fine. I'm in the same boat re: testing (docs won't do anything until I have a third miscarriage, and my chemical last month didn't "count" because it was too early). So annoying. I have an appt with my PCP in a couple months for a check-up and I might ask her if she can do any basic tests since the midwives won't refer me yet.
@LCTBQE: It's been awhile, but I think my (mild) morning sickness with LO faded out gradually starting around 9 or 10 weeks. I do remember that it was completely gone by 13 or 14 weeks.
I'm 10 dpo today and got a negative this morning. Still holding onto a tiny bit of hope but not feeling too lucky this time around.
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@catlady: just wanted to say that I've had bfps on 10dpo in the past, but this last time it was a definite negative at 10dpo and 11dpo. Didn't test at 12dpo bc assumed I was out, and had a pretty light line on 13dpo. I'm 11 weeks now, and things are still looking good. Don't give up hope yet!
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@LCTBQE: hey girl! 10w already - amazing!! I had bad MS until about 16/17 weeks, but I wasn't the norm among real life girls I knew pregnant same time as me. Most of them started feeling better right at 11/12 weeks and were telling me it'll be the same...but I wasn't! So I think every body is different & hopefully this is just an end to the nausea!! Which would be awesomeness!
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@jaguar: I keep thinking about you!! When will you test??
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@catlady: @Nutella: @MrsDragon: @winniebee: thanks for your thoughts on the nausea fading, ladies
I also googled the hell out of it, but hearing first hand from you is 1000x more reassuring. so seems like it is definitely within the realm of normal, and also reassuring that it didn't just suddenly stop cold and drop off a cliff one day. my appointment is in a few hours and I'm so nervous my hands keep shaking. @catlady: did you try again today? I only got positives by 11 and 12 dpo on the two pregnancies that stuck around. even though it works for a few people, sometimes I think our expectation to see something at 9 or 10 dpo is a little nuts
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PS don't know if I'd mentioned here that I was being completely terrorized by insomnia--wide awake almost every night from 3am until 7am for the past couple of weeks, sometimes with nausea, sometimes not. I finally got around to trying 1/2 tab of Unisom last night and MY GOD it is a wonder drug.
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@Zbug: @LCTBQE: Thanks, ladies. I tested again this morning and still negative. I have an 11 day luteal though so I assume I will know soon enough one way or another.
@LCTBQE: Good luck at your appointment!
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@catlady: sorry
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It's alive!!! so relieved. We saw it wiggling around and it looked less like a jelly bean and more like an alien
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@LCTBQE: congratulations
so frustrating. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I've been thinking of you a lot, and I hope you get answers soon.
I know what you mean, I like the idea of trying vs bit doing anything...got to be in to win right?!
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