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@Nutella: WOW to your willingness to see your friend! you are a better person than me
I hope it isn't too stinging. we've talked a lot on this board about how for many of us, some of our primary activities include avoiding pregnant people, announcements, showers, and babies... I still struggle with this ugly "that should have been MINE!" reaction. but when I finally saw my girlfriend who had her first baby in October (the one whose shower I threw like a week after my D&C)--she wanted to know how I was, and instead of bullshit niceties, I talked about how much pain I'd been in. she was really sensitive to me, and she talked about her baby and how blissed she was. but I'm glad I didn't just gloss over it, because I think having the suffering be acknowledged was all I really needed to be truly happy for her. anyway, I commend you for going to see your friend. maybe you can just talk about yourself the whole time 
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@winniebee: hi there, welcome
I've seen your posts about the chemicals (maybe on other boards you started?) and I'm so sorry for the reason you're here. glad to have you anyway and hope you find it supportive.
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@LCTBQE: So glad the scan went well!!!!
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@LCTBQE: New med to me, yeah. The NP did warn me about increased anxiety as a side effect and my counsellor gave me some strategies today. We also talked about how I can advocate for myself with my next doctor's appointment so hopefully I can get going in some kind of direction, soon!
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Thanks guys. I know my anxiety is going to be through the roof after all the disappointments and setbacks.. trying to be calm.
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@LCTBQE: that's great news. Congrats!
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@Shantuck: @winniebee: thanks, ladies
my husband is starting to talk about this like it's a sure thing ("do you think our child will be able to appreciate Seinfeld, or will it be too obsolete by the time it's old enough to watch?") and I'm trying desperately to maintain zen-face. one day at a time 
@MrsDragon: GOOD
keep us posted.
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@LCTBQE: I'm so, so glad you got good news at this scan. One day at a time
I'm also glad your friend was considerate and let you actually speak. That's pretty rare! And how cute is your husband wondering about Seinfeld
My pregnant friend cancelled today, which was a big fricking relief because I was starting to feel really weird about it. Especially because she text me once after the d&c and never again, I think assuming I was fine because of my faux-happy tone! So probably my fault but meh, I'm over it. I've accepted some people just don't want to know! Anyway, her excuse today was pretty flimsy so I'm feeling ok about not seeing her before I move (next week). Plus that saves me from seeing a giant belly that will just make me feel bad about it all over again. Preparing for a move has been a nice distraction I must say.
Thanks to summer & sunshine here I'm starting to slowly feel more like myself, but when I stop to think about it I get really annoyed that it's taking us so long now!
Hugs to all of you!
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@Nutella: The summer is just making me think that I'd be 4 months pregnant by now. Bahhhh humbug.
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@jaguar: for some reason my mind never got that far but it sort of fast forwarded straight to the due date and I'm so freaked out about it
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@jaguar: yeah, my mind goes there. All 3 of my recent losses would have given me may, July and August babies. Really hurts to think about for some reason. On the upside we just bought a house and it has a pool and I'll be able to use it all summer / no post partum swimming ban.
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@Nutella: I tend to remember every little date/milestone. It's crap.
@winniebee: Ohhh.. jealous of your pool!
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I've somehow managed to forget specific due dates which I'm grateful for -- I know the months, and I know what people around me are where I 'should' be, but my brain did me a solid and blocked the rest out.
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So the clinic called -- the doctor my NP suggested, who I've been waitlisted with for two weeks, has no availability. I'm booked in with a different doctor for two weeks from now. I've seen her before -- she was actually the one I saw after my first loss -- and she is relatively new out of med school so I'm hoping she'll be more willing to take some proactive steps. She also was the first one to tell me we didn't have to wait to try again so I'm going to be asking her opinion on that. By the time I see her we'll be past the fertile phase of our second not-trying cycle, so hopefully I can get the go-ahead to quit waiting and maybe get some testing, too.
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I'm in POAS territory and going crazy already. Waiting to hear on my 7dpo progesterone test, which was done yesterday. I'm so impatient.
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My first post-D&C period arrived! I am not usually so enthusiastic for this event but this means I can get started on trying to conceive again.
I'm actually going to try a Clomid / IUI cycle this time around and hoping that ovulating an extra egg might help me find a better quality one.@winniebee: Hang in there! Waiting is the worst!
@MrsDragon: Glad to hear you have another appointment with a different person. Sounds like maybe waiting isn't necessarily the right decision for you if you aren't really feeling at peace with it. -
I haven't checked into this thread in awhile but hope everyone's doing ok. I've had a few rough days (someone who has no business being pregnant just told me that she is due at the same time as one of my old due dates). But feeling somewhat optimistic because I am approaching O and just realized that if we conceive this cycle, we could end up with the exact same due date as my LO. I'm really hoping we have a lucky January again. If we not, we'll be taking a break until the spring, I think.
@MrsDragon: Good luck with the new doctor! Sounds promising!
@winniebee: Hope your test comes back ok. Waiting is so hard!
@jaguar: I've also been thinking about dates and milestones recently. We just took a little vacation that was originally supposed to be a babymoon. It was nice but also sucked. Hope you are feeling better today.
@Shantuck: Ha, I know what you mean about being excited about a period. I felt the same way.
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@Shantuck: I was so pumped for AF after my mc!
@catlady: FX January is lucky again for you!!Wish me luck ladies. Off to my hysteroscopy and HSG. Boo. I'm feeling very anxious. I also ovulated yesterday which was super early so I wonder if that will affect anything. I'm worried my cervix has already closed right up. Ouch!! Gonna go pop some pain meds and head to the hospital with my mom.
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@winniebee: I hope you have great progesterone results!
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@delight: I haven't had a hysteroscopy but my HSG was no big deal at all. I had very mild cramps for maybe 10 minutes afterwards. I do have a child and have read that the HSG is less painful after childbirth so perhaps that is part of it (which should hopefully mean it won't be bad for you either!). I hope everything goes well and that everything looks good.
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Cross posting from POAS board. My HSG showed my ectopic did block my tube. Feeling really upset as well as glad (?) to know that's most likely why I haven't been able to get pregnant again. I feel like My right side ovulates 80% of the time and my latest ultrasound backed that up.
With my due date quickly approaching and half a dozen friends due in next 8 weeks this is making me mental. -
@LibbyLou: Ugh, sorry ! What can be done about that? Is there a procedure to unblock the tube?
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@LibbyLou: sorry your HSG today showed blockage
Is there anything they can do?
@Shantuck: thanks for the well wishes!My hysteroscopy is over and I had a SHG not an HSG. I don't know the difference. I had foam put through my tubes and an ultrasound. I think it's similar. The hysteroscopy was definitely the worst part. I won't go into details here but I'm glad I took some Tylonel 3 before. The doctor thought it was funny that I knew I ovulated yesterday. Apparently not everyone charts everything like all us ladies do! At any rate, all looked clear. We go back in February to discuss all results and develop a plan. However he mentioned trying Femera and TI for a few months and then moving to IVF since my day 3 blood work indicates declining egg count.
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@delight: @winniebee. Thanks gals. I'm not sure, they were running really Late and my Re just said we will work with this! Like you delight i think I'll do a few rounds of TI medicated then ivf. Sorry it was so painful! Kinda amusing that she was shocked you knew I forget we aren't the norm!
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@Shantuck: yay! Glad to hear that and good luck!
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@winniebee:
I hope you get good results all around!
@Shantuck: Yay for a period! I felt like that after my second loss -- it was a relief to get back to 'normal'.
@catlady: Crossing my fingers for you! If the new doc clears us to try again the next cycle would land me with a similar due date to my daughter.
@LibbyLou: I'm sorry -- that's rough. Sending you lots of love.
@delight: I'm glad you're able to get started on a plan soon. -
Bah, BFN today, 10 DPO. Could be 9 DPO I guess. Have had some cramps this week, but perhaps it's just in my head.
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@winniebee: I didn't get a bfp this time until 13 dpo, so don't lose hope! I got a bfp at 10dpo last spring, and 11 dpo with my chemical, so I thought I was out with a bfn at 11dpo. I didn't test on 12dpo, but my line on 13dpo was super light. Fingers crossed for you!
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@Zbug: thanks for your input! I'm feeling super emotional and bitchy, but that could be for a variety of reasons. I was thinking I would test early for progesterone reasons, but I still don't have any progesterone results...so I should probably just wait until after my period is due at this point and stop obsessing.
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@winniebee: For what it's worth, I've now been pregnant three times (one of which was actually successful) but I've never gotten a positive at 10 days. Usually, I don't get a positive until 12 or 13 dpo.
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@winniebee: easier said than done. We've all been there
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@Shantuck: Thanks! with DS1 I got a positive 12DPO, but didn't test earlier than that. It was blaring positive, positive digital and 70+ HCG then. DS2 pretty positive on 9DPO. My losses I have gotten 10DPO positives as well. So I'm feeling like this isn't it. I told myself I wouldn't be upset, but here I go.
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Since my post-D&C period started yesterday, I went in to the RE's office for blood work today to get started on a Clomid/IUI cycle. My OB/GYN had me come in on Tuesday and since my hcg level was at 4, they said that I didn't have to test to zero. Well today's blood work showed that two days later, my hcg level is still at 4. I have to go back on Monday to see if the hcg is gone and if it's not, no Clomid for me this cycle. Really hoping this lingering hcg doesn't mean there is retained tissue. For others who have had D&Cs, how long did it take for your hcg to zero out? Monday will be 5 weeks...
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@Shantuck: It took a while for mine to get to 0 after my D&C. I think over 2 months. It lingered at like 7-3 for a while before dropping under the detection limit. Hopefully it'll all leave your system this weekend.
Eta: I didn't have any retained tissue or other complications like that. I think it was just slow to drop.
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So my day 21 levels came back at 16.2 which they said was normal. I may have a positive test today but it's not clear yet.....I didn't mention that to doc since I'm not due til Sunday. She said if I have a positive test on Sunday then to call Monday and we can figure out if I should do prometrium anyways. What would you do with this information? (Normal progesterone but hx of losses).
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@Shantuck: they don't measure hcg after MC here in a hurry so I don't know levels, but AF took 41 days to return!
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@Shantuck: I've never gotten my hcg levels measured but it took 5 weeks for my period to return after my D&C. Good luck!
@winniebee: Good news about your levels (and possible positive!). I have no idea what I would do...maybe call the doc back and mention you are not sure? Will a few days make a difference?
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@winniebee: I'm no expert but have you had a saline ultrasound or anything like that to know if your uterus looks healthy? Does your OB/GYN think the other losses were just chromosomal issues? Do you have any factors that would lead you to believe you might have bad egg quality (diminished ovarian reserve, etc.)? I think many doctors say that supplemental progesterone can't hurt (though I've always been told no when I have asked for it in the past because there was never spotting or any other signs of an issue).
I'd probably ride this one out and if it looks like another loss maybe you could do a saline ultrasound and check your AMH/FSH/etc.
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@Shantuck: I'm having Day 3 labs if I'm not pregnant this cycle (amh and fsh thyroid and oestradil) so I don't know of any factors yet, except I'm 35. She thinks the losses were likely chromosomal because they were so early. We talked about looking at my lining after day 3 labs, assuming they come back normal. I was nursing during those 3 losses, which I think was more than a coincidence, but my doc isn't convinced. I haven't nursed much since then and I think we are weaned as of a few days ago. Not sure if that will make a difference.
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@MrsDragon: yes, like others have said, so glad you're (hopefully!) getting some attention to your history, even with a doctor you didn't expect. waiting is the worst and I hope yours is over, SOON.
@Shantuck: ugh, the hcg--that is so frustrating. I didn't get betas after my D&C, and like @litebright, didn't have any retained tissue, but I remember I took a FRER when I was on my period 3.5 weeks after the surgery hoping it would be blank, and it instantly came up positive. I hope finishing your period clears it out for you. Will you try anyway this month even without the Clomid?
@winniebee: saw your other thread!! how are you doing?
I hope it isn't too stinging. we've talked a lot on this board about how for many of us, some of our primary activities include avoiding pregnant people, announcements, showers, and babies... I still struggle with this ugly "that should have been MINE!" reaction. but when I finally saw my girlfriend who had her first baby in October (the one whose shower I threw like a week after my D&C)--she wanted to know how I was, and instead of bullshit niceties, I talked about how much pain I'd been in. she was really sensitive to me, and she talked about her baby and how blissed she was. but I'm glad I didn't just gloss over it, because I think having the suffering be acknowledged was all I really needed to be truly happy for her. anyway, I commend you for going to see your friend. maybe you can just talk about yourself the whole time 
I've seen your posts about the chemicals (maybe on other boards you started?) and I'm so sorry for the reason you're here. glad to have you anyway and hope you find it supportive.
I'm actually going to try a Clomid / IUI cycle this time around and hoping that ovulating an extra egg might help me find a better quality one.
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