I've heard some people say that having a second child more than doubles the amount of work involved. Has that been the case for you?
*Also interested in hearing how you feel child spacing affected your answer and about how reality compared to your expectation. Thanks!
44 votes
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Im not sure how to quantify it to be honest. Its definitely more work and when I only have one I marvel how much easier and quicker everything is but I also dont really time myself to know how much longer things take with 1 vs 2. Also some things are harder with one, than the other because of their age. My son can get ready a little on his own reliving that burden from me so I can focus on just getting my daughter ready.
papaya / 10560 posts
It's a little more work but not much. Just the extra bedtime, extra prep, extra laundry etc. Both my kids are super easy so I'm tired but it's still easy. 17 months apart.
watermelon / 14206 posts
Just a little more. There's less learning as you go. You know what you're doing and trust yourself more so it seems easier.
pomegranate / 3890 posts
Its much easier to go from 1 to 2 then 0 to 1. It's a lot of extra work but not quite twice as much. My boys are 25 months apart and I will admit its a hard age gap!
honeydew / 7295 posts
I've been thinking a lot about this since we are expecting our second and they will be 30 months apart. I feel like it also depends on the children and their temperaments since all are different! I am subscribing!
persimmon / 1420 posts
I say more work than one, but I'm basing that on theory, as I never had just one. Getting out the door, for example- with one, I can focus on the one kid, get them ready, and leave. With two, while I am focused on one, the other invariably makes a mess. So now, instead of getting two kids ready, I'm getting two kids ready and cleaning up the mess.
pomegranate / 3350 posts
I voted for less than twice as hard. Mine are 20 months apart, 23 and 3 months. The most difficult thing right now is nursing all the time while giving older LO enough attention. Especially when he poops while I am breastfeeding the little guy. Maybe that situation is more than twice as hard but it's not a constant thing. Plus it is so amazing to see how much they adore each other that it totally makes up for the trouble. I imagine when they are both a bit older it might even be easier than just one at times because they can entertain each other (when they are not fighting/trying to kill each other).
Oh and the big thing we noticed is that having a baby second time around is SOOOO much easier. Even if you felt like you had no clue what you were doing the first time, you really did learn a lot!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
oops I voted wrong, I meant to vote "having two kids is more work than one, but less than twice the work" but accidentally voted "having 2 kids is less work than having one".
It's definitely more work than one because you have to juggle two humans, and your attention is naturally divided and you're stretched thinner, but it doesn't feel twice as hard because everything is already second nature. I'm sure a lot of the difficulty really depends on the personalities of the kids and other factors, like how involved your spouse is. But overall, I don't think adding the second kid to the mix is double the amount of work. The transition from 0-1 was so much harder than the transition from 1-2. My kids are 26 months apart.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I agree with @meganmp: I may not be a good person to ask since I never had only one baby, but it's definitely more work than if I only have one around. When only one of them is around, it feels like the easiest thing in the world. My answer may be skewed though because their the same age so it's not like you have one older one who can follow directions better, etc.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
My understanding and experience is that when the 2nd is an infant, it's definitely more than twice the work. However, they should play together and occupy each other's time a lot when the little one is bigger, so then I think it would be less! That's what I'm hoping for anyway...
pomegranate / 3706 posts
Mine are 1 day shy of 22 months apart, and both so demanding, that for me, there are days that they feel like more than twice the work of 1. Currently, they are 28 months and 6 months old.
pineapple / 12566 posts
@Dandelion: agree! I think the difficulty of being a FTM is the learning process. With the second one you have less to learn and are generally more confident in your decisions.
Mine are 3 years apart, which was perfect. The older one was fairly autonomous when the younger one arrived and the younger one is a MUCH easier baby than her brother. So I think it's only slightly more work than having one.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Mine are 20 months apart. Doesn't feel like double the work. Maybe 1.33x.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
There is double the work in some things, like 2x the laundry, but not for most things. They play together so that gives you some breaks ... until they start arguing or someone gets hurt. 
pineapple / 12234 posts
It just depends on how needy the first or second child is. DS and DD1 are 3 years, 1 month apart and DS was pretty independent by the time she was born (I didn't have to change him or get him dressed) but we had to spend more time disciplining, dealing with tantrums or teaching him more since he could understand and communicate better by 3. DD1 was sort of mellow so I wouldn't say it was twice the amount of work.
DD1 and DD2 are 25 months apart but DD2 is even more mellow than DD1 was as a baby which helps since we're dealing with the two's and tantrums with my middle child. There are definitely moments of chaos, like I get thrown up on by DD1 and DD2 is screaming to be fed while I have to throw all of our clothes in the wash and at those times, definitely twice the amount of work!!
pineapple / 12234 posts
@Andrea: yes! I was loving that they could play and interact but then E started to take every single toy from B...and then the yelling began 
nothing exhausts me more than arguing!!!
squash / 13208 posts
I say 2 kids is twice the work
Doing all the same work but 2 times as much!
They are 2.5 yrs apart
persimmon / 1361 posts
Less than twice the work, I'd say. But DH has to contribute a lot more so I guess it's depends on your SO (their availability, level of willingness). He has to do bedtime for my older one now and always gets him ready for the day, etc. Mine are 20 mo apart (25 mo and 5 mo). The adjustment from 1 to 2 is easier than o to 1, in my opinion. You've already adjusted your life to include a LO and have been through it all before so it's easier.
grapefruit / 4819 posts
Definitely twice the work and then some for me. Mine are 26 months and nearly 7 months, so they are both quite dependent on me for many things still, although DD1 is becoming more independent and able to help with things. I just feel like my days are nonstop with taking care of things for one child, then the other, then back again etc. They're both pretty laid back, easy babies, but their ages just mean that there is a lot I need to be doing for them all the time! It is wonderful (most of the time), but it is definitely twice the work!
ETA: I had a super easy transition from 0 kids to 1, to the point where DH and I would question what everyone was talking about when they said the newborn days were so hard, so that may skew my view on why it seems like so much more work now with two.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Adding a second wasn't like adding twice the work. I think of it as economies of scale. You are already cooking, washing etc. Just adding a little bit more. Mine are 21 months apart.
pomegranate / 3917 posts
19m apart.
Definitely not twice the work! A little bit more for sure, and definitely crazy at times, but different fun,
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@blackbird: Right? Its kind of not helping my baby fever...
pomegranate / 3759 posts
19m and easy peasy. Although throw in a little PPD in there and that makes it a little more challenging but as far as the work goes, pretty much the same. Seems to be getting easier but I am expecting things to get real hard when we have a 1.5 year old and a 3 year old!
persimmon / 1420 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Twin mamas unite! 
Getting just ONE kid out the door the other day? Magical.
grapefruit / 4441 posts
Thanks, everyone! I am sure a lot does depend on the children and their temperaments, but it is reassuring that the majority does not feel like it's twice the work (or more)...though it looks like there is a decent chunk that does feel that way. As others have said, I image it also depends on how much your partner is able to help, which is the main reason we are on the fence.
@Ree723: I had a pretty easy transition from 0 to 1, so that does make me think! My LO is super independent, loooooves to help, and adores babies, so hopefully if we have a 2nd, that would work in our favor?! Probably wishful thinking!
grapefruit / 4584 posts
I voted more work than one, but less than twice the work. At 22 months apart (4 months and 26 months currently), every week has it's moments where my girls both seem to desperately need something at the exact.same.time. and that can be really hard, but on a day to day, moment to moment basis? Not so bad...I think it's hardest when the needs of the two are very different, which is why I went for a close age gap. For now LO#2 can just come along for the ride with whatever I need to do with LO#1, and by the time LO#2 is big enough for her own activities...LO#1 may very well still be doing similar things. Personally I think it seems more difficult to have an older child and a little baby than to have two close together. Chaos was already expected with a just turned two year old, so having the little one around doesn't really change much (or add that much work) in our house.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 0 |
| Posts | 1 | 0 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
28 comments