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Two kids is definitely the most we can handle with both of us working. I want to work, and felt Two was the right number for us in terms of what we want to be able to give them emotionally and financially. But I would be weary of stopping working to have more kids. Losing income while taking on the financial burden of another child would not be a situation I would be comfortable with.

I want three kids but we both work. Because we both work and need to work, we are stopping at 2.

This is an interesting question! I am pregnant with my second and 50/50 on wanting a third. (I know thoughts will change when second one comes.) Anyhow.. me being a full time working mom was never something that I considered as a reason for not having a third. Why is it a reason to stop at 2 kids?

We both work full time, currently have 2 LOs, and are planning on 3 (maybe 4!) I never really considered working as a limiting factor, if anything staying home would give me pause to have more because of the reduced income and also just being exhausted with more kids in the house. If I was feeling stretched too thin I’d probably try and find more things to outsource before reducing my own hours - like cleaning, yard work, errands etc.

I have a 2.5 year old and I'm pregnant with #2. I worked full time up until 3 weeks ago when I cut back to working 3 days a week. It's life changing. Honestly for me, working FT with just one toddler, never mind adding a baby, was extremely exhausting and challenging. I felt like I could never keep up with anything, I was so tired at night from my commute and the bedtime struggles, and then having to pack lunches, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, etc. And I felt like I never saw my son during the week and although we love his daycare, he was so exhausted from long days there. Working 3 days a week is perfect, although the decreased income means I won't be taking home much after paying for childcare for two.

I think working FT with multiple kids is probably easier with a nanny or family support - we have no family locally so no help with anything. I just constantly felt like I had a thousand things to do and was so exhausted and behind.

DH and I work FT and we have 3. He also works a shift schedule. My mom does live with us so that is a huge help. I really wanted 3 so I probably would have done it even if she didn’t live with us. I know lots of 2 FT working parents with 3 or 4. Age differences and flexibility of the jobs make a difference too.

Working full time with 2 is manageable. For me it was SO stressful until pretty recently when I just started taking more things in stride and putting things into perspective. We might go for #3 late this year or next which I was pretty firmly against for a long time because I just didn’t think I could handle it. My girls are 21 months and 4 and I feel like at this point we’re in a groove. My husbands work hours are also getting more manageable every year (slowly dropping down from barely ever seeing him to having him home at dinner occasionally) so that makes a huge difference. I think we would hire a nanny, or pick up more days at daycare (probably more affordable) because my biggest concern is putting more of a burden on our families who watch our girls three days of the week. I recently found out our elementary school has on-site before and after Boys and Girls Club which makes a huge difference because I was concerned about getting the kids on and off the bus.

@codeitall: DH works from home and I WOH and we just had our third. We are lucky that we have grandparents around to help out. If we didn’t I think we would have stopped at 2.

So we have 4 kids and we both work. I do mostly work out of a homeoffice though. Which helps in terms of laundry management etc. I also only work 80% because those 20% provide a lot of flexibilty when it comes to doctor's appointments etc.

I WAH part time, but we only ever planned on 2 regardless of work status, income, family help, etc.

We both work and we're 95% done with 2. For sure, if money wasn't an issued and I didn't need to work, I'd opt for 3. Because if I am able to stay home I'd assume finances isn't a big issue. I already feel guilty with the little time I spend with them during the week, so just from the perspective of finance and quality time, I wouldn't have another.

I think you could put together so many combinations of scenarios and each one would have pros and cons.

It's so variable, I know families across the spectrum. I was a SAHM with one child and 4 hours of extra help a week and I am now a working mom with one child with two retired parents that do a lot of heavy lifting for my family.

DH runs a full-time law practice from home. I work 75% time as an attorney. We have 2 boys who are 40 and 20 months old, respectively. We have no family around and we have no outside help aside from daycare.

We set up our business/careers the way we did so that we could tag-team childcare for our two kids. I have at times worked 50% time, but right now 75% works for us. Our lives are really full because our children are still very needy, we are exhausted most of the time, especially on weeks like this when both kids are sick and work is slammed for both of us and we have to take turns taking time off and tending to them.

BUT. We are leaning towards having a 3rd, although we're not sure exactly when or how (adoption? foster to adopt? another AMA pregnancy?)

In all likelihood, I will probably scale back to 50% time at least for a while and we will have to hire a nanny or Mommy's Helper at least part-time. We'll likely have a school age child, a preschooler, and a newborn in the mix and oddly enough, there is no licensed daycare center in our small town currently that does infant care.

DH and I have talked about how crazy and expensive its going to be, but I think ultimately its just going to be that way for about a year or so. We can start at our current daycare at 18 months old and by then our oldest 2 will be in school and we've always planned on me working 75% time once the kids are in school (basically during school hours), so I could be able to help with school work and sherpa them to extracurriculars.

We did plan for this in that we moved to a much larger house last summer that is a 5 minute walk from the school we intend on sending our children. The move also cut our drive to our daycare by about 10 minutes.

Unless we completely relocate (I can only do my job at our current location), I will continue working on a part-time basis. I need to work at least 50% time to maintain health and pension benefits. DH has been a college professor in addition to his practice in the past, so its possible we could relocate for the right teaching position, but it would have to be a plum gig with comparable benefits and I'd probably find another line of work. I just prefer working at least part-time for my mental health and happiness.

I will say, however, that DH and I spent several years before we had children setting up our careers intentionally in a way that would afford flexibility for a family without any relatives around to help. DH built a private practice while working super long hours at a full-time job that he eventually left. He then spent 4 more years working as a full-time professor while running his practice and got his executive MBA to further build his business. I took a lower-paying but very stable and flexible job with the government knowing that some day I would want to have kids, have a flexible schedule, and be able to take long maternity leaves if I wanted. We also spent our childless years paying off loads and loads of student loans and living close to the bone. So now DH is able to work full-time from home, which allows him to pick-up and drop-off for the kids, take them to doctor's appointments, or go grab them if they're sent home sick. Meanwhile, I can totally focus while I'm at work, leave at 4pm, cook dinner for my family, and get my chores done without being completely rundown.

I don't think I could manage full-time work at this stage in my life. Perhaps when ALL of my children are older and a bit more self-sufficient and we need to store up some more cash for college I may look to move to full-time, but for now this works for us and I don't think it will change any time soon.

@Becky: I work 30 hours out of a 40 hour week and any overtime I work gets credited as paid time off. I work from 8am to 4pm M-Th with a 30 minute lunch, so its a 7.5 hour work day. I leave the house at 730am and I'm home by 430pm. I tried 80% time for the first week, which would have had me home at 5pm, but that extra 30 minutes was enormously stressful on me with dinner and traffic, so I totally get it. We have to be hands on with the kids on Saturday and Sunday, so I don't really have weekends to get much done other than doing groceries and some meal prep in the evenings after they are asleep. Those 30 minutes between when I get home and when we go pick up the kids are crucial to getting our dinner ready and allowing me to change my clothes, decompress for a second, and maybe throw a load of laundry in.

I am technically "off" on Fridays, but half the time I usually have to go in and finish up some odds and ends at work, but it gets credited as paid time off. If I'm not in the office, those are days I will handle any appointments for myself, chores, bulk meal prepping, or eek, even some self-care!

@gingerbebe: It's been on the back of my mind that if we do have a 3rd, he/she might come from adoption/foster to adopt.

@gingerbebe: I could have written all you wrote!

Its so interesting to read everyone's thoughts on this topic. My husband and I worked so hard to achieve spots in our career that would allow us to have a baby and not have to use a nanny. We both work full time outside of home, but I have extreme job flexibility and he works alternative hours. We have family around us and my mom watches our girl 2 days a week. Incidentally, we will need to get a nanny when baby girl #2 arrives in May because my mom doesn't want to watch two. Two days a week of a nanny is going to be pricey, but I'm happy we can swing it, even if things will be tight. I still will consider a third even if money/time/space will be super tight!! I want a nice full family!! Hopefully I feel that fullness with baby girl #2, but if not, then I'm really hoping we can make it work with a third.

It really depends on the family circumstances. I was earning about 1.5 times DH's salary when we had our oldest. He had no desire to become a SAHD and of course I had to go back to work. We live in HOL area and daycare for 1 baby cost more than our mortgage so we would have either needed to be one and done, have them spaced 6 years apart so LO1 would be in kindergarten, or DH would need a better job so I could SAH. So with 2 working parents it would have been 1 or 2 kids max. I would have been too old for 3 by the time we would have been able to afford daycare. Due to LO's feeding difficulties as a baby I ended up leaving my job and now we have 3 LOs.

@gingerbebe: I never knew you guys were both lawyers! Me too!

@codeitall: We know we definitely want 2 kids, possibly 3 depending on how the next one goes haha.
We’re currently TTC #2. When I went back after #1 I went back part-time which has been a game changer. It’s also helpful that my schedule is extremely flexible and DH’s schedule is family friendly (home every night, m-f type job). We’re also lucky it isn’t a financial drain with me working PT.
While those things make it easier on us, I do plan on going back FT eventually and whether we were working FT or PT that wouldn’t influence the amount of kids we would have.
I’m just hoping we’ll get that magical ‘I’m done’ feeling people talk about.