And he finds it hysterical when i say "NO." very sternly. If i yell or pull him away too suddenly he gets very scared and cries. He has also started hitting our cat and throwing toys at all of us. Sometimes hard ones right in the face. i got a book on no hitting but it hasn't stopped and sometimes he seems to almost seems to think it's a game and wants me to catch him or wants to hit me for fun! He has been giving so many hugs and kisses and was so gentle before but now this. I don't know what to do to get him to stop. Help!
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Yep, LO went through this around the same time. The more we paid attention to it the more she did it. So we just ignored the best we could and she stopped doing it.
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When my DS hits/kicks/etc... I tell him that I don't want to play with him while he's hitting and then I walk away. I think, with little kids, they are just looking for any reaction, positive or negative, so the best punishment is non-reaction.
We also have a thrower (he thinks everything is a ball1) so I give him one warning not to throw and then I take the toy away. I also usually try to redirect him to a toy he can throw, which seems to help.
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I would use phrasing like, gentle hands, nice touches, we don't hit, etc. rather than no because I got the same reaction as you. All of a sudden, he stopped, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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My almost 17 month old is definitely in a hitting phase...and unfortunately it happens sometimes when we're at Gymboree or at a playdate. I take him away from the situation, sternly tell him "no hitting" and repeat it a few times, then wait a couple minutes before I let him go back to play. He's been doing this for a month or so now, I really hope he grows out of it soon since I don't know what else to do that's age appropriate.
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thanks Ladies! i am gonna try ignoring him more and gentle but firm. i cant just ignore him with the cat though but perhaps i can try pulling him away then yelling. i feel so bad for our kitty. i hope this passes soon.
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I like the walk away idea, too. It's hard with pets. M likes to hit thumper and hit her or chase her with things. We have started picking up the dog, petting her and saying, "it's okay, thump. M doesn't know." Gentle talking. When we do this, M will usually come over and pet her, too.
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@mediagirl: that's a good suggestion too! Instead of pulling my son away picking up the cat and giving HIM all the attention
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It is a phase, he's probably testing you to see your reaction. Ignoring at this age worked best. We're definitely more on top of them if they hit our dog though. We tell them how it makes the dog sad just so they understand why they shouldn't hit. Luckily, there were not many instances of them hitting our dog. We also have the board book version of "hands are not for hitting". My kids really like the book. I can pass it on to you next time I see you.
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@BoogieBea: that's so sweet! Thank you. I would love the book and even more love to get the kids together soon. You still haven't gotten to meet Tor when he is awake!!!
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I agree with putting him away from you and ignoring it and walking away. C went through this phase as well, she liked to hit people in the face. She's stopped doing it so much, finally, but it took a few months. As for the cat, I'd pick him up and walk away with him when LO hits him.
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F is 13 months and just started hitting us hard in the face. I think he's just experimenting. I hold his hand when he goes to smack me (or the dog) and say in a normal voice "I won't let you hit me/the dog. It hurts us. If you want to smack, you can smack the table/wall/this toy/etc." He still tries to do it, but he's much less interested when I'm calm then when he catches me off-guard and I have a big reaction.
We were ignoring it, but it really hurt & I didn't want him to feel like hitting is a boundary he can cross.
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@loveisstrange: I think I am gonna try that particularly the moving away of the kitty.
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When they are small (and even sometimes when they aren't) putting a lot of attention and focus on a undesired behavior can have the opposite effect-- rather than seeing extinction (what you want), you see a surge in that behavior. I find that being very matter of fact (so saying, "We have to be gentle to living things") and showing what you want briefly ("Can you touch like this?") and then ignoring the unwanted behavior and really making a big deal out of appropriate behavior usually works more quickly. We really like the book, "I Call My Hand Gentle." It can be used with older or younger kids and has a wonderful message and beautiful illustrations. I love framing it to kids that they can make the powerful and wonderful choice to be great things, like gentle, kind, and compassionate!
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@Mrs. Twine: oh that sounds like a good one too! I agree. It's hard because my husband is not a patient man and he tends to be too aggressive and I tend to coddle too much so I am working on firmness and he is working on calmness.
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