This article sums up so many of the thoughts I think many of us may have (I know it related to me).
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I only read halfway through but this pretty much sums up why I think it's SO important to go into labor with a open mind. I truly believe any doctor/hospital worth their salt has one ultimate goal in mind. A healthy baby and healthy mommy. That is ALL that matters.
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Idk if I'll ever really understand the mommy guilt. I've been on both sides of the fence with birth, feeding, living/parenting style & never felt guilt on either side.
I don't think anyone should feel guilty about the informed choices they make, regardless of what their choice is... that's the whole point of making an informed *choice*.ETA: I feel bad for the writer of the article & at first it seems she'd have been a pretty informed mommy that just had her labor/breastfeeding experience not go as planned, but I then start wondering at the aspects like the elective induction, not knowing what a normal time frame for labor is, and taking breastfeeding advice that led to ff over the phone. It stinks when things don't go as planned, I know b/c nothing went as planned with G, but I still can't completely overlook at the aspects that played part in that that easily could have been avoided/removed/changed. Right? Still though.. there's no reason any of us should have guilt for doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment in parenting choices/decisions.
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I really liked this article I feel like there are so many strong opinions and judgement on the ap/natural parenting aide (which we do some ap in our house) and I get really sock of hearing about it. Like I could care less how you birthed your baby, it doesn't make you any.Stronger or better to birth a baby naturally or have a section.
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Loved this!
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@runsyellowlites: The author sounds so much like a friend of mine's labor. She went in well educated and extremely prepared. She was a medical student at the time. Her labor went completely opposite of her expectations. She wanted a natural labor with little to no interventions. Instead, she had her water broken in triage and labor stalled. After nearly two days of labor and hours of pushing, she had a c-section. She experienced guilt much like the author. She blogged about her guilt over the labor. It's tough to read it because she had some big expectations for it and didn't get it. She had a better breastfeeding experience.
When she found out that we were pregnant, she told us to not have any expectations of the labor experience. I went into labor with an open mind, wanted an epidural, and labored for 14 hours. I got the experience she wanted. I was extremely laid back about labor and had an awesome experience.
I didn't buy into any of the labor experiences often talked about. I just learned what I needed to and went with it. Our friend drank the koolaid and had a bad labor experience. At least in our experiences, it came down to mindset. Just putting that out there.
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I don't know if I liked the article. It seemed like throughout she was having trouble managing her disappointment that her expectations weren't able to be realized. That's quite understandable but somehow she made it sound like there were other women, more "natural" women judging her. She seemed to be the only person judging herself.
In my own social circle, I see this a lot. I even see that in myself. I didn't cloth diaper but my best friend is and I find myself defensive whenever the subject comes up because I know the value of cloth diapering, I just chose a different, easier-for-my-family path. But she's not making me feel bad-- I'm just sensitive and defensive. Equally, I have friends who had medicated births by choice. They seem defensive when the subject comes up but honestly, I don't spend any time thinking about their birth, let alone judging them for it. I just love their babies and glad everyone had the experience they wanted.
Anyway, it seems like if the author forgave herself for not meeting her own expectations or was able to let go of the idea that life is going to always go as planned, she'd discover that no one else is judging her for her medical choices.
I don't think anyone should feel guilty about the informed choices they make, regardless of what their choice is... that's the whole point of making an informed *choice*.Reply
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6 comments