Hellobee Boards

I could care less about what my kid eats when we’re out. We eat very healthy at home, rarely have treats and model good habits, but I’m not policing it when on vacation, parties, etc. Want a cookie for breakfast? Go for it. Only eat the cake at a birthday party? Not going to worry about it.

I have family members who are so picky about what their kids eat when we see them. It’s almost like they’re trying to prove how good of a parent they are by denying treats. If I (as the adult) is eating a bunch of junk, which let’s be honest is what happens when we’re out, I’m not going to force my kid to eat differently. I saw a lot of this growing up too in pre-teen years. Some parents would police what their kids (especially daughters) when eating at parties and stuff. I think that creates such a complex that “while others can eat whatever they want, my mom limits what I can eat.” I think that can foster unhealthy relationships with food and body image.

May I join in even though I'm only pregnant? I've shocked myself by not enjoying pregnancy that much for a myriad of reasons, and that's turned out to feel kinda controversial? After trying so hard to get pregnant, I really thought I was going to be over-the-moon about this experience, but it's been harder than I thought. Can't wait to become a mom!!! But super failing at living up to everyone's expectations for pregnancy joy.

@hilary: Thank you so much for this!! I've been struggling with disliking myself for not enjoying the experience more, and I've really disappointed my in-laws by not being the bubbly, vivacious pregnant lady (it's hard to feel bubbly when you're trying not to puke on someone constantly ). I AM very thankful and always will be, so this is a great way to respond while still feeling truthful.

My kid is low tech. She gets to watch a movies on the family iPad on long car rides or on an airplane and that’s it. We don’t give her our phones and don’t have any apps for her. She does really well out and about and at restaurants ‘reading’ or coloring.

ETA not sure this is an opinion about motherhood as much as lifestyle/parenting.

Our kids have the kids Kindles, but we really limit it at home. It's basically reserved for long car rides, long doctor's appointments, etc. BUT, we only eat out with our kids rarely and our youngest in particular is still pretty annoying with public eating--we end up entertaining her and feeding her and trying to get her to sit still, and then we can't enjoy our food. So the 1x a month that we eat out, I break out the screens. If anyone gives me side eye, I might cut them. They don't get the tablet at home, they get it in the restaurant when they finish eating so I can eat my $18 eggs Benedict and have an actual conversation with my husband in peace.

My child free older brother was visiting and we went out to brunch and was like "if you don't ever give them screens, they don't ever know what it's like to have it at the table"--as if we've never tried the typical coloring and stuff. I was like, seriously.....shut up dude. You have no idea what you are talking about right now, and you have 0 experience with this. My kids will 100% entertain themselves, but my youngest's version of entertaining herself is going to include crawling under the table to make a fort, running down the aisles of the restaurant to play chase, sitting on the table itself. No thanks. She'll grow out of that stage, just like her older sister has. But until then, we will give her a tablet while we eat peacefully.

@foodiebee: I hated pregnancy so much for so many reasons.
I also was bored during maternity leave and was super happy to go back to work and I love working now. It seems to weird people out when I say even if we didn't need my income I would work.

I agree with so many of these!

I think sleep is 100% learned behavior. I think people with "bad sleepers" just haven't taught their kid how to sleep. That being said, I'm sure there's a range of normal sleeping. But if you have a two year old who still gets up at night when they aren't sick, it's because you haven't taught them how to sleep.

Related: My arrogant self thought potty training was the same way- if your kid is having accidents is because you aren't sticking to it and making them do it. I am sooo eating my words on that one. Potty training is hard!

-I am not concerned with screen time or YouTube watching
-I am not overly concerned with them eating junk or candy (I can't say I don't care at all, I do limit it but if they eat a decent meal they can have a Hershey kiss or two)
-I loved being pregnant, minus all the appt's I loved it
-I believe getting dirty and being exposed to germs helps them not get sick too often
-I don't make them wear shoes outside around home
-I believe if your kid is sick to keep them home/away from others to avoid getting others sick, I don't like the "dose them with meds" and send em philosophy
-I can't co sleep.. I just can't sleep at all.
-I am a helicopter parent
like@SteelerGirl: I also thought bad sleeper meant bad habits bc DD was such a good sleeper.. then I had DS and yeah... no matter what good habits I instill no matter what we do he is just NOT A GOOD SLEEPER... sooo
-I give my kids whole grapes

Unpopular opinion: I LOVE that my son can talk now. I can understand his emotions and thoughts so mich more clearly and have at least basic conversations. I have a really hard time emotionally connecting without nursing or talking (aka, age 1-2, the age my daughter is now).

Another one: I try to intervene in his park play as little as possible, even if he is being a bit awkward with other kids. I firmly prize independence.

Bit of background I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and I'm pregnant with out last baby. I'm 19 weeks pregnant. Dad works night shift.

My kids play independently about 80% of the day (they actually prefer it that way)

I dont care about screen time as well.

We dont have strict bedtime routines. We just brush teeth. I think it's not good to have a set in stone routine to help kids sleep. They need to know how to fall asleep on their own.

I can't co sleep cause I can't get sleep( im a mean person without sleep) and my kids would never sleep.

I personally believe kids should learn at their own pace. I never worried about milestones. (Within reason) I knew they would do things when they were ready.

I've always made sure I ate and showered and got plenty of "me" time. I've never thought the whole mentality of mom saying "oh I just forget to eat" or "I haven't showed in days" thing is a good thing to promote.

I let my kids play with pretty much whatever as long as they cant hurt themselves or each other or cause permanent damage. If they want to throw all the diapers around thats fine. If they want to dump all the toys out, I dont care.

I also let my kids eat in the living room or carry their snack with them.

I personally think there is nothing wrong with giving kids meds for things like teething and what not. If my kid is teething I give them tylenol. I dont want them to suffer. If I had a terrible toothache I'd be taking meds for sure.

I'm a very laid back mom. I hate stressing out about things.

@Ajsmommy: Yes, I agree with everything you listed. Including whole grapes!

@psw27: I am not a good player, especially pretend. He has legos and a marble run and a train set and I love doing those way more than playing pretend. I wish he liked to color because I would be more into that too.

I stay home but I don't always love it (I don't hate it either though). I love seeing my kids all of the time but I am not as productive around the house as I thought I would be and I really miss critical thinking.

I don't stress over what my 3 year old eats. Sometimes days go by without a vegetable and I know our family judges how much macaroni and cheese he eats. He eats ok at home, but when we are out or if we're visiting our parents I just throw a container of easy mac into our bag because it's the path of least resistance.

I am not strict about screen time. I don't give them the ipad all day, but I don't limit too much either. Probably because my oldest is good about shutting them off when he's told and doesn't give me a hard time about it. I am a screen person and I love TV, I have always used TV as background noise.

I looked being pregnant (until 35 weeks ) work a crappy complicated pregnancy 🤦‍♀️ like it was shitty, but I think I miss being pregnant.

My 2 year old doesn't have a bedtime, he has not he has to be the next day, so whatever. I tried sleep training at 5 months after Co-sleeping but it was miserable for almost 2 weeks.

If he eats his food, he can have whatever snacks afterwards, I don't care.

He can take his snacks wherever, but when he's done the trash is thrown away, and he cleans any messes he makes.

I give whole grapes too.

My kids pretty much run wild at home. As long as they’re entertaining each other I really don’t care. I honestly don’t enjoy “playing” very much, like pretend play, and it’s glorious now that they’re 5 and almost 3. I definitely don’t make them wear shoes outside...or clothes Although the 5 y/o probably should this summer. I’ve told all their teachers that they dress themselves because they always do and always pick the craziest outfits.

We let them watch probably too much tv (no iPads anymore though because they would have insane tantrums).

I don’t partake in all of the reading challenges and box top collections at school. Until DD can write down what she read and for how long and to whom and wear and while wearing what on 3 different papers for 3 different challenges at the same time, we’ll just have to pass on the free Pizza Hut coupon that we’ll never use.

@Rocker2014: LOL I feel the same about crocs and natives.

I think I read this question differently than some of the other posters. Not as parenting choices but more as unpopular feelings/opinions on motherhood.

I don’t think you have to love every second of being a mom. Especially the newborn/infant days. When people talk about never being happier and loving every minute (usually on social media) I just think “liar”.

I don’t “not remember” what it was like before kids. I remember. Oh, I remember. And while I wouldn’t change it for the world, I miss it.

I don’t feel like my kids complete me. I feel like they are awesome and I love them with every fiber of my being and now that they are here I would do anything for them. But I don’t think I can say that I wouldn’t have been happy or fulfilled if I didn’t have them (and we struggled long and hard for both of them - losses, ivf, etc). I actually think our struggles to have kids helped shape that POV - I had to come to terms with the possibility of not having kids and for someone to say that I would have been less of a person or an incomplete version of myself is rather insulting.

I love leaving my kids. I also love being with them (most of the time). But leaving them for a full day or even a whole weekend/several days is sublime. I know several moms who have never left their kids overnight and I almost think they do it because that’s what a “good mom” does. Well if that’s what makes me a bad mom, I’m happy to be one. It recharges me and reminds me who I am without kids (because they won’t always need me) and if we go away as a couple, who we are as a couple (Because someday it will be just the two of us again). I’ll take nearly any opportunity to get away sans kids. Sorry not sorry.

I like having extended breaks from my kid. With this current pregnancy my ILs have taken her to stay at their house for 3-4 days 3 different times and it's been awesome. I get to sleep, eat, watch whatever I want, clean, SLEEP, etc. I miss her but not in a desperate way. She has a GREAT time with them and I think it's good for her too.

I don't really pay attention to screen time limits. Lots of times we have Sesame Street streaming in the background for who knows how long. She doesn't have a tablet or apps on our phones but I'm not strict about TV at all.

She eats dessert a lot. I eat it pretty much every day so she gets a little bit too. Who am I to tell her she can't have it when I'm eating it?

I let her make big messes if she's playing independently and entertaining herself. Whatever. I can always clean it up later.

@SweetiePie: So with you. I love dropping my kids off at daycare and I'm not shy saying so.

@Sams Mom: I miss being pregnant too! We're holding off for #3 but I'm a little sad waiting.

We aren't very strict about bedtime. DS was up till almost 11 the other night! I have a flex work schedule so I have early morning meetings while they sleep in and they get mandatory 2 hour 'naptimes' at daycare anyway. That's our time together.

I'm not super worried about eating stuff. We don't always have a veggie, my kids don't eat fruits unless they're eating the free ones at the grocery store, my son has a very short list of what he'll eat at all. They'll grow out of it and be willing to try new foods later.

I struggle reading books to my kids. I am a voracious reader. I read on average, 2-3 books a week. I get frustrated wrangling them on the couch settled on a book and actually finishing a book. My kids usually get tired halfway through the second run-though after they insist 'again!' and I get impatient.

@codeitall: same. I'm an insatiable reader, but I hate reading with my children- or rather I hate them reading to me, it's so tedious and mind numbing and by the time we get done with a page I can't even remember how it started.

@pachamama: My kid can repeat and use swear words in the right context and I still haven't stopped. 🤷‍♀️

@macintosh: taking a day off and dropping off at daycare is the best. DS1 was in the same daycare from 1-5.5 and they are a family to him. He looks forward to going back when I’m done mat leave.