It's coming up on 2 years after my mom passed, and I still struggle at times. Recently I saw a picture of my daughter and she looked so happy and with such a big smile that I thought, "Wow, my mom will get such a kick out of this picture!" Of course I totally forgot in that moment that my mom is gone. Then it just hit me like a ton of bricks and the grieving process all over started again. I was pretty surprised that grieving from this realization was not a short process! This happened four days ago, and I am still thinking about this a lot.

I would like to have a way that I could share stuff with my mom. I've tried visiting her grave and talking to her, but it is still too much for me. I can visit her but mostly I just apologize to her and cry. My mom was Japanese, so growing up we had a small Buddhist shrine in the house to our ancestors and would light incense there. I could do that and put pictures in there for her?

I think I am struggling because the way the court system works here, rather than have a trial all at once... you have to go to court for one day every month. So for the trial for my mom's murder, I have to relive it pretty regularly and it is a challenge to process this emotionally and also grieve. So I think the grieving process is being extended beyond what is typical, and I am not sure how to handle it in the meantime.

If your parents have passed away, do you ever get the urge to share stories or pictures with them? How do you handle it?