Sometimes, you have to keep your relationship a secret for a while... say, when you're dating your best friend's sister, or if you're dating someone who is part of a large group of friends that you both hang out with (or work with!). Or if your parents are Asian, haha!
Have you ever hidden a relationship from friends or family? How did it turn out?
apricot / 475 posts
Not from friends and family but from colleagues as we met at work, it turned out well as we're now married with a baby boy and still work in the same place!
bananas / 9118 posts
Yes, we were working together and didn't want it to get out for a while, so we kept it a secret for about 3 weeks. Once we we let it get out, all sorts of rumors started. Vet clinics are so much like high school!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Nope. But my brother dating my SIL for awhile without telling me. She was a good friend of mine, which is how they met. I wasn't upset that they were dating.... I was upset that they kept it a secret.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
Yes! DH was actually a professor of mine in graduate school (though we didn't start dating until after I took his class). We didn't keep it a secret from our family and friends, but I kept it a secret from my classmates for awhile. I think they were shocked at first but also very happy for us (and they understood why we kept it a secret). Obviously it worked out well because we are married now!
pomegranate / 3244 posts
Not a secret per se, but I was living abroad and didn't think it would lead to anything at first. Why bother making a fuss? Once I realized it was getting serious I told people.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
DH and I worked together when we first started dating, so we kept it a secret when we were at work. It lasted a couple weeks before people found out. We still made sure to keep a good working relationship since he was the level higher than me.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@lawbee11: haha, my DH was one of my college professors as well! We kept the relationship from his colleagues for quite a while; even though we didn't start dating until after I graduated and even though his university has no restrictions on professors and students dating. I know some of his female colleagues were eyerolling me at first, but now we all get along very well!
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
@mrbee: I know, right? 
@yoursilverlining: That's funny! Several of his colleagues are married to former students, so I guess it's not all that uncommon!
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Yes. Coworkers and families. We had both been through divorce the year we met so we were cautious to share our relationship with anyone for fear that they would jump to the conclusion that it was a rebound relationship, instead of seeing that we really were soulmates.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
Not my relationship with DH. Before him though I dated the welfare officer at my sixth form college. That was a secret until I left : )
coconut / 8681 posts
We kept it a secret from our coworkers for a while. I was his manager and that was definitely frowned upon.
cherry / 195 posts
Yes! DH was technically my manager for the first two years of our relationship. It was challenging, to say the least. He ended up landing a better job (we came clean about it when he left) and our boss was there when we got hitched
pineapple / 12793 posts
Ours was secret from our classmates at first. Most of them knew or were friends with our exes before we got together so we wanted the dust to settle for a while. Most people were thrilled, but some were suspicious of our relationship. FTR nothing happened between us before our old relationships ended.
persimmon / 1491 posts
We didn't "hide" our relationship. But we did keep quiet and didn't do official "meet the parents" until we were at about 6 months. We felt more comfortable and knew it wouldn't be just a "dating" relationship.
eggplant / 11287 posts
Yep mine was because I started dating him when I was still with my high school boyfriend!
Don't hate the playa, hate the game!
honeydew / 7917 posts
Yes and my parents are Asian.
I never told my parents that DH was ever my boyfriend... then one day I told them that I was engaged. They insisted that I look for someone better and that I still had plenty of time.
honeydew / 7917 posts
@mrbee: better = friends' son/grandson or maybe more Chinese?
It took my parents another 2 years before they were comfortable with him and now they accept him as their own.
bananas / 9628 posts
Yup. He was my trainer at the gym, so that's kind of a nono. And I had just broken up with someone, as had he. He & I were talking while he was with his ex, who also worked at the same gym. actually it was kind of messed up on our part, he'd call me from her place after she went to sleep at night. We talked, nothing physical until they broke up. But she insisted that he & I were doing more and she insisted that he stop training me & never speak to me again or they were over. He refused, so they broke up we also had a bunch of mutual friends & didn't want them to know. It was kinda funny 'cause we'd go to clubs & run into people & then try to come up with excuses for why he needed to take me home at the end of the night. We weren't the best secret keepers!
nectarine / 2063 posts
DH's mother knew that we were dating but she wasn't a good influence in his life and he was really trying avoid her. Needless to say she didn't know we were engaged, was not invited to the wedding and I didn't meet her until the weekend after we returned from our honeymoon. It was his mother so we figured it was the right thing to do, in person. She was pissed! In the middle of the pancake house she said to DH "how come I'm never around for the good parts in your life, I'm only hear to pick up the pieces when your life goes to sh*t." and stormed off. About a month later I ran into her at the hobby store and she asked me again why she wasn't invited to the wedding. I said, "ask your son." I wasn't about to get in the middle of their drama! She continued to talk saying, "good luck but it would never last, he will never change, he is nothing but a POS" I said, "thanks for your well wishes, have a good day" and walked away.
We have been together sense 2/09 and Married 10/10 sense then she has tried getting into see our hair dresser a few times. She asked if she had any wedding photos... Thank God our hair dresser is the bomb and nipped that in the butt quick!
Thankfully that has been it... And she wonders WHY we kept it a secret?!!?
I just hope we can keep our kids a secret when the time comes... She is crazy! Totally called my job and pretended to be an employee to get my number kinda crazy!
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
Yes! The first week we met I kept it a secret. Totally dangerous because I flew to Arizona for a week to meet a stranger and told no one where I was going.
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