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Nursing to sleep worked for us, and that slowly transitioned to rocking to sleep, then patting to sleep, then books, and now songs while one of us sits next to lo1 (3yo). She still takes awhile to wind down/fall asleep, but honestly I think the "don't nurse to sleep" advice is kind of fear mongering, there are different parenting styles and providing comfort isn't a bad thing!

There was a while where if I was home LO would nurse to sleep. If I wasn't he would have a bottle and then rock in the chair and either fall asleep then or in his crib. He had 3 different ways of falling asleep with different people and it was totally fine.

I would not worry about the fact that you've been doing it this long. I might add in a few more sleep cues into your routine while still nursing so that eventually it will be the basic routine that gets them ready to sleep and not necessarily the nursing part. In particular, I'd probably remove the playtime after PJs and be more consistent about what you do then. Our basic routine is: dinner, quick play time, bath, PJs, put on white noise, turn off lights, sleep. There are a few different steps in there for DD age 3 (potty, brush teeth, couple books) and DS age 4 months (swaddle, lullaby, nurse). But overall it is the same. With DD, I nursed her before she went to sleep up until age 2.3 but she stopped actually nursing to sleep long before that. So it was just part of the whole routine at some point and when we removed it, it wasn't a big deal and definitely not necessary to actually falling asleep. DS still nurses before sleep but I often gently wake him up while swaddling and then he falls back asleep in his bassinet.

I was worried about nursing being a crutch but it just worked for us for a very long time (I didn't wean until DD was 22 months and only because I was TTC). DD was not necessarily dead asleep every night after nursing but always at least veeeery drowsy. We started experimenting with DH putting her to bed with a bottle of breastmilk once in a great while when I went out in the evening and then once she was over about 18 months he tried no milk at all a few times and did bath/story and she went to sleep no problem. He would turn off lights and sing to her/rock in the rocking chair a little bit making sure to hold her like I did when nursing and he thought that helped with comfort. Basically I would not stress about it too much but definitely have your DH try putting them to bed a few times for piece of mind (and so you can go out sometimes too!). Good luck!

I nursed two children to sleep, and both transitioned out of it without significant hassle when it was time. I would beg you not to stress about it. If your sleep routine works, great. If it stops working, try something else until you find a new routine that works. But nursing to sleep is lovely, and wonderful, and forget all the garbage about how you should never have done it in the first place.

We replaced nursing with lots of stories and a couple of min rocking while I sing a song. We did this at 22 months though so not sure how well it would work at 10 months.

I nursed my daughter to sleep until about 8 months. Gradually it shifted to just another part of our bedtime routine, and then we'd put her down in her crib awake. Our bedtime routine from 8 months to 19 months was snack (cheese stick, apple slices, yogurt, etc), brush teeth, wash hands and face, pjs and nighttime diaper, nurse, cuddle and quiet play and books. From 16 months on, she was only nursing at bedtime, and last week at 19 months, she decided that she was done nursing. I'm 19 weeks pregnant, so I think my milk must have changed. The weaning process was very gradual and gentle for us. I'm so glad that I nursed her to sleep and didn't cut out the bedtime nursing session. I'll do the same with the next baby.

@sarac: Thanks for saying this. I nurse my soon-to-be eight month old to sleep, and I'm almost embarrassed to tell people because of how much they drill into you to not do it. It's working for now, so I'll probably keep doing what I'm doing until it doesn't. And hopefully he will transition on his own eventually.

Our routine has just naturally evolved over the years. I nursed to sleep until he was 10 months and he went on a nursing strike that I could not recover from. So we went from nursing to sleep to bottle and rocking to sleep. That lasted until we weaned from the bottle at 15 months. Then it was just rocking to sleep for awhile, then rocking and to bed drowsy but awake.

Full disclosure- I rocked with my older son before bed until he was 4.5 years old. The only reason we stopped is that I was pregnant and my belly was too big for him to get comfortable. I love the time we spend together before bed. Now if DH and I are both home one of us will lay with him for a few minutes. But if I'm doing bedtime by myself he goes to bed on his own while I put the baby to bed.

@katsupgirl: sometimes, when I'm feeling philosophical, I wonder why society says it's so wrong to spend time with our children (or assist them) as they go to sleep at night!

I agree with everything @sarac: wrote, nursing to sleep is very natural and even biologically normal, there's all sorts of hormones in the milk at night that promote sleep and at the end of the day it must be a really lovely way for a baby to go off to sleep!

@nana87: totally agree with your comment about the fear mongering!

OP - both my kids just naturally moved away from nursing to sleep some time around the 12-18 month mark, it was a very organic process that just gradually happened.

I nurse my almost 10 month old to sleep as well, plus 2-3 times during the night. For those of you that nurse(d) to sleep, did your lot eventually sleep through the night? I'm worried I'm creating a monster!

@meadow: Just saw your comment about them not STTN. If they are not waking too often to nurse, I wouldn't worry about that either! My DD only slept through for the very first time at 10 months and became consistent by 1 year. Yes, it took awhile, but it was what she needed and she never regressed after that.

We JUST stopped nursing to sleep after my daughter turned two. I don't think your approach is abnormal at all. If you do want to make some changes, I recommend the book The No Cry Sleep Solution (there is a toddler version too). It has lots of good ideas, not just one strict method. Her advice for phasing out overnight feeding worked amazingly well for us.

Your babes are only little for so long and some day you'll look back and think, "why did I beat myself up over nursing my littles to sleep? I would do anything to have those moments again."

I think it's so natural, honestly. I have a five week old and he always falls asleep at the breast and I think it's normal, expected, and I love that I can provide that comfort and warmth for him ️I won't stress about my babe nursing to sleep. Not because it's "easy" and convenient, even though yes it is.. but because it's special and beautiful and I know I won't regret it. I want to cherish each moment and don't feel the need to do what I'm "supposed" to do, and will just do what feels right ️

Good luck, dear!!

I'm a ftm, too, so I know how hard it is to just have confidence and go with what feels right. My LO is 6 months and nursing to sleep is right for us. He was a sleepy nurser from the start so we just went with it. I really try to ignore some of the parenting stuff that is too rigid and one-size-fits-all. I'm so glad I'm not alone!

I don't know how many decades the experts have been talking about "sleep crutches" (seems relatively trendy), but mammas have been nursing babies to sleep much longer.