The link about weight gain comes from attractive and fit celebrity couple Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker.
I always liked Elizabeth Edward's quote that she did not have a problem with not being Barbie to her husband's Ken.
But, do you expect the same love and affection if you physucally change throughout your marriage? Weight gain often spurs other not so great changes.
Weigh in!
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
My husband and I expect each other to stay at a HEALTHY weight. That doesn't mean it always has to be the same weight. But I expect him to stay fit and healthy so he can be around for me and our children for a looooong time. He expects the same of me.
papaya / 10343 posts
I think there is a question of degree. I also maybe have a little bit of a different opinion on this because I came into our relationship overweight. Weight is definitely something I struggle with (which my husband knows) and even while we were dating I fluctuated. I think the thinnest I ever was with him was when we got engaged, and I'm up about 20ish pounds from there (about 10 lbs up from when we got married). The heaviest I have been (last year) was up 15 pounds from where I am now.
I don't really think it is realistic for a man to expect his wife to stay the exact same size she was when they married, as she gets older, gets busier, has kids, etc. However I do think it is legitimate to be concerned about health.
So basically, if at 20 years of marriage your wife has gained 30 lbs and is still healthy for her age but is just a little chubbier after 20 years of marriage and kids and life---- get over yourself that is life. But if 5 years out you've packed on 60 lbs and it is probably a health issue at that point--- yea that is something you should try to work through together to stay healthy for each other.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
What a hot couple!
I don't demand perfection from DH, and I know that he doesn't demand it of me. I do want us to take good care of ourselves and each other (because life is just better/ easier/ happier that way!), but, if I am being perfectly honest, I feel so compelled to present what I consider to be the *package* . . . what I think/imagine I am *supposed* to look like/be. But that is completely self-imposed . . . within reason, DH doesn't care as long as I am happy and I give it up on a regular basis! 
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
I've been struggling with this lately with my DH. He and I are both heavier than when we met (me by about 10lbs, him by 25 or so) and most of his was sympathy weight when I was pregnant. I have no problem with him gaining weight, but I do have a problem with how unhealthy he has been. It's unattractive to me when he eats a ton of crap and sits on his butt all weekend. I could care less what he looks like, because he will always be my sexy love muffin (gag, I know), but I wish he would just be healthier...
I'm working on talking to him about it. I told him I'd like us to join a gym together and he seemed open to it.
So yeah, I think from a health perspective, it's a good idea to keep an eye on weight gain. I agree with @Mae:!
pineapple / 12526 posts
DH and I have both gained a bit since we got married. I will say that's it's an issue that we talk about and neither of us expects the other to look like we did when we started dating in high school.
We DO, however, expect each other to be healthy. We eat fairly healthy and we both make an effort not to be completely sedentary and for us, that's enough. I think for us, it's more an issue of expecting the other to take pride in themselves and their body.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I am finally doing something about my weight, but my husband is not fully on board about doing something about his. He carries all his extra weight in his stomach, which is the worst possible place it can be in terms of heart disease, which terrifies me. Other than that, he is perfectly healthy, healthier than me in fact.
I think the big thing for him is exercise...he's not a fan of the gym but has been doing a ton of yard work lately, so it's a step in the right direction.
cherry / 220 posts
aside from the health aspect, i think it can help keep the heat in your relationship if you stay at a reasonable weight. ten or twenty pounds is probably not an issue, but if my husband gained 50 pounds or something i would probably not be as attracted to him. that's just reality (for me, anyway). and the reverse is probably also true. but in addition, if i gained 50 pounds i would not feel good about myself and would not feel sexy and would not be as inclined towards intimacy, which would also be bad for the relationship.
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