I was not... I have three theories why:
1) I wasn't smart
2) My parents didn't want me to be full of myself
3) Japanese don't really believe in being smart... they only believe in hard work
If I had to guess, it would be mostly #1 and #3.
Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I was told I was smart all the time.
And I'm pretty full of myself. Hahah
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I sure was! But mainly at school because I did well, not because of my parents. Not that they told me I was dumb; they just didn't give me a big head. In fact, no matter how well I did in school, my parents insisted that I do better BECAUSE I was capable. I have always thought of myself as quick-witted more than anything.
kiwi / 678 posts
My parents didn't tell me that. But, I was in talented and gifted programs at school and stuff, so I knew I was supposedly smart. Plus I got good grades. I don't think it really had much of an effect on how I saw myself.
I think my SO was probably told he was smart. He's pretty full of himself. 
pomegranate / 3503 posts
I was told I was smart but my parents were also very harsh with their words, so I guess it cancels each other out?
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
@mrbee: I would never guess that you don't/didn't think you're smart!
I didn't think I was smart because I'm not good at coming up with ideas... for anything! (clothes, babies, inventions, food, etc). I can copy almost anything I see though, and I'm a pretty quick learner, so I'm kind of smart.. just need to work on my confidence now.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
My parents said things like, "You are smart enough to do ____, you just need to work at it, apply yourself, etc." So, yes, sort of, they did. I think they comment on our intelligence more as adults than they did when we were kids, maybe.
I guess for me I would say it had the effect of raising my expectations of what I was capable of, but also taught me that my success would be most based on my effort.
honeydew / 7444 posts
I was a very smart/advanced baby, like singing full songs and doing 100 piece puzzles by 18 months smart, so my parents had really high expectation of me. I tell people i peaked intellectually at 2 and it went downhill from there. They never told me i was smart, but part of me knew i was smart so i didnt really need to be told!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
I was always told I was smart and could "do anything'. And then i went to college and struggled in some of my engineering classes. I didn't do as well on the MCAT numerous times. But my parents still insisted, "but you're so smart, you need to try harder". At some point, I just realized that some things were beyond my ability. I had always worked very hard, but when I STILL worked hard and still only did OK on some things? It was time to be realistic.
I want my kid to think she's smart, but I don't want her to be delusional about how intelligent she is, either.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I was told it alot and I think it motivated me. But I think our high school should have been better about helping kids know how good they were. There were kids a lot smarter than me too but since we went to a public school in the middle of no where we were told the 'smart' colleges are for rich private school kids who are super smart. So while they might make kids feel smart to an extent they made them feel dumb in the grand scheme of things and I think that made a lot of the smart kids underachieve.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
I was told I was smart all of the time growing up. Things came very easily to me and I was full of myself. Then, in the 4th grade, I started having a really tough time with fractions. It was the first time I ever had difficulty, and I don't think I ever recovered. I have a terrible fear of failing now and pretty much stopped taking risks for fear I wouldn't look smart. I don't care about looking smart, now, but I think it really changed the way I saw myself. The first time I read Nurtureshock, I was stunned to see how similar I was to the examples of children in the book that were told they were smart their whole life.
pear / 1787 posts
Yes, I was. My parents were very supportive and wanted me to do well in school, and I always loved school and excelled. I only got one B in all of middle school and high school!
The downside: when I got to college I really had a hard time, because suddenly things didn't come so easily, and I struggled to accept that I would no longer earn straight As and that that was okay. I put all the pressure to get straight As on myself, though--my parents expected me to work hard but did not demand As.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Hmmm, I'm not sure. I was told that I needed to get straight A's so I did.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Nope. In fact I remember my mom, on several occasions, saying I was dumb or stupid. (Disclaimer: I love my mom, we have resolved this about our past and have moved on, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt sometimes.)
It made me work my butt off in college trying to prove her wrong and get good grades. Mostly out of spite. I graduated with a 3.23 GPA so I didn't do too horribly. But it has really affected me as an adult too. I don't feel respected by others and definitely feel inferior to those with more education than I. I feel that if she thought that about me, others must have as well.
pomegranate / 3383 posts
Yes, but mainly in elementary school. I was in gifted programs and I skipped a grade so there were very high expectations of me. I think I peaked at age 10 or something because I quickly became average in high school. My teachers did tell me I had potential but that I needed to apply myself more :).
grapefruit / 4311 posts
I was always praised by my family and in school for doing well and being smart. I definitely think it's given me confidence in my abilities and helped me excel at work as adult (even though i'm not confident in general, I'm very confident in my work skills). But I'm not fooled - I know I am not nearly as "smart" as I was told - I am just the type who keeps trying til they figure it out., analytical I guess. And I swear I feel like I never even went to school when people start discussing history, literature, science!
pomegranate / 3452 posts
Yes I was told that all the time. I think it's true in lots of ways, although I definitely didn't apply myself in school like I perhaps should have because I was a "natural."
pomegranate / 3388 posts
I was definitely told by my parents and grandparents that I was smart. Not in a smug way but more just to tell me that I was capable of using my brain to solve problems. It definitely made me more confident. I ended up getting a Ph.D. from an ivy league University, so I guess it didn't turn out too bad.
| Member | Posts |
|---|---|
| Kitkat | 1 |
| Littlebit7 | 1 |
| Mrs. Starfish | 1 |
| CatchAFallingStar | 1 |
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 0 |
| Posts | 1 | 0 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
18 comments