I was spanked when I was younger, but not on a regular basis. I hope to not spank LO, maybe some taps on the hand but I hope to use redirection or other forms of punishment for bad behavior.
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I was spanked as a child and will spank my LO if necessary.
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I was spanked a few times. I'm not sure what I'll do when I have a LO yet.
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I was spanked once. There are so many effective alternatives now, I think spanking is totally unnecessary.
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There is increasingly strong evidence that spanking causes worse outcomes in kids. I think the weight of the evidence now is pretty irrefutable.
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I was spanked once or twice. If necessary, we will use spanking as a form of punishment, but only if nothing else gets LO's attention or she does something dangerous.
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I was spanked and I don't plan on spanking LO.
ETA: I wasn't spanked once or twice, it was an often-used punishment when I was growing up that I don't agree with.
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Yes, I was spanked. We will not spank LO. I believe that aggression teaches aggression. Plus it's illegal here in Sweden!
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I was spanked as a child. I'm not using spanking as punishment, but I have to admit that I have threatened it as a consequence a few times. I'm definitely looking for alternative methods.
@mrbee: Do you have any tips on alternatives to spanking? Was there a post in the past maybe, or resources that you can point me to? -
I was spanked and will absolutely spank LO. DH was spanked and feels the same.
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My father regularly beat me with his hands and belt and various other objects around the house. I will not be hitting my child for any reason.
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I was spanked all the time and I will never spank our kids. I honestly believe it did more harm than good.
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@T-Mom: this book has been really helpful... there's a lot more to it than the example I mention in the post:
http://www.hellobee.com/2012/06/26/the-best-parenting-book-ive-ever-read/
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I was spanked as a child but my mom says she regrets it. DH and I said we wouldn't spank but the 3's came around and we have spanked DS 3 times. I really don't like to. At the time, I couldn't think of another way to discipline him...because of that, I am constantly researching and reading on ways to discipline/how to react to his behavior.
I actually read an amazing article on whining last week. Children whine because they feel alone and helpless. It said the best way to get them to stop whining is to not let them get their way but to let them cry, laugh, or throw a tantrum as a release and afterward hold them to let them know they are not alone. It made sense, at least for young children.
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I was spanked but I would never be able to spank my child.
In a pregnancy hormone meltdown, I spanked my chihuahua for peeing on H's new PBK rug. Then he was scared of me and hid under the bed for days and I felt HORRIBLE. I swore off spanking anyone ever again
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@mrbee: I remember your post on this book! I will definitely check it out.
@HLK208: I am with you. I really don't like the idea of spanking, but there are times when I feel like I don't have any more "tools" to work with.
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Both DH and I were spanked as children. Not all the time and not hard but definitely when we deserved it.
We were using spanking with DH's boys up until recently. We think that their lives at their mothers is a lot more violent than it is at our house but they still associate it at our house. So we've stopped and set up new rules.
I really think it depends on the kid and the frequency.
I think now that we've set up our new house rules we will try to follow through with them once we have this baby. So no spanking.
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I was spanked, DH was not, but we will definitely be spanking our LO.
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@mrbee: just bought the iBook version. Basically the opposite of the article I read last week (as in, it's okay to have melt downs at home then they'll eventually stop entirely). It's hard to understand what is right and what will work! I'll definitely give the book a try though.
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Both of us were spanked as kids, and will spank our LO if necessary.
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I think a blog post on alternative discipline would be something a lot of us could relate to @mrbee
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We both were spanked and we are both open to spanking but we differ on what is appropriate.
I feel it should be reserved for VERY sever situations. My husband and IL's believe that a little "swat" on the butt or wrist is appropriate if a child isn't listening or something. To me, that just teaches that hitting is ok.
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I was only spanked once--for saying f*ck when I was three (my brothers taught it to me. We're not planning on spanking our kids.
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We were both spanked as kids, and I honestly don't think that it had any bad effects on either of us. We're both productive members of society, confident in our worth, abilities, and our parents' love, and have no hang ups about being spanked. That said, I believe there is a huge difference in what is meant when people discuss "spanking" and that makes an incredible impact on how if affects a child. I also think you have to consider each child's personality and what they react best to.
When my parents spanked us, they never seemed angry. They always had a discussion with us first about what we did wrong, why it's wrong, and what we could do differently next time. We were also always told that they loved us no matter what and nothing we did would ever change that. I think spanking done this way is a whole different thing than being beaten, being spanked out of anger, or being spanked for every single thing you do. At our house, other methods were attempted first, with a swat being the last resort punishment after several warnings.
We will certainly do other methods of discipline first (redirection, choices, taking away privileges, creative punishments that fit the unwanted behavior, etc.), but we will likely spank our kids if we believe that it is appropriate for the child/age/behavior.
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@Mrs. Blue: very well said. our parents also never spanked us in anger, nor was it ever excessive and neither of us are worse off for it, or bitter about it.
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I was spanked a few times and I have spanked my oldest once. I got angry and was on top of one of his brothers hitting him and wouldn't stop so I spanked his bottom and sent him to his room. I don't think I would do it again. I hit him to teach him mot to hit which doesn't seem to make sense so if I had it to do again I don't think I would.
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I wasn't spanked, I was slapped, which I think was worse. One time I even got a bloody nose... so I don't plan to ever slap my child. I don't feel like spanking is all that painful, but I guess I don't know for sure so I'm on the fence about it?
DH was whacked with belts and shoes as a kid, but I'm pretty sure we would never do that!!
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No and no.
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My mom slapped me a few times for being mouthy. I will never do that or spank, as those memories clearly aren't good but they really stand out in my mind.
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@Mrs. Blue: this is how i feel exactly!
hubs and i were both spanked and we will spank our LOs if need be. i won't (or plan not to/hope not to) ever slap a child-- i think slapping is out of anger, whereas spanking (for us) won't be.
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I has not spanked, DH was hit (not just on the behind with an open hand) and I'm more against spanking than he is. We don't plan to inflict pain as form of punishment. I have yet to see anything that convinces me it is the most effective form of discipline and I don't think it sends a message we are comfortable with.
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Wasn't spanked and don't plan to spank my lo. For me it just doesn't make sense to punish someone with pain
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no and no. i don't believe in using violence.
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@HabesBabe: @Mrs. Blue: agreed! & well said!
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I still haven't decided how I feel about this. I was beaten until I could fight back and DH's parents never laid a finger on him. We both turned out okay, but I think DH got away with murder as a child and as a result was a real discipline problem, and I had some severe emotional issues I had to work through in my 20's as a result of the abuse.
My initial thought is that something in the middle would be appropriate, never spanking out of anger and always as a last resort, final punishment type thing. I do think that kids get away with way too much these days and sometimes other forms of punishment just dont' work or get through to them.
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We were both spanked as children. DH more often than myself. My parents spanked sparingly (I can count on one hand) and it was usually if we did something dangerous. Although, I do remember getting a spanking for kicking the doctor when he tried to give me a shot! They also never spanked very hard, or while angry.
That being said, we still don't plan on spanking LO. I can't say definitively that it will NEVER happen, but we plan on using it as an absolute last resort (if at all).
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I remember being spanked once as a child.
DH and I will not spank future LOs - I think there are more effective and progressive ways to discipline.
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@Mrs. Blue: very well put... I'd say my experience with spanking was the opposite of this which puts me against spanking my LO in the future. I wasn't abused by any means but I was hit enough out of anger/inflicting pain that it left an indelible mark on me and I would never want to do that to my kids.
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I was never spanked but I don’t think I ever did anything to warrant physical punishments. IMO, there are more effective forms of discipline so no, I will not be spanking my child(ren). DH and I disagree on this, though. He was… “spanked” (let’s be honest, he was beaten) as a child and feels that sometimes, kids need a smack on the ass. We’ll see who wins but I tend to get my way and this isn’t something that I’m willing to compromise on. I’m firmly against it.
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I was spanked the "right way" as a child; it only happened once or twice since I was a really good kid.
We will not spank our kids because we don't believe in corporal punishment ever, under any circumstances, regardless of whether it is done under the "right" conditions.
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52 comments