Both of my parents want to be in the room. Originally I thought that would be fine, but as I research and plan the birth I am worried they will hinder my progress (going for med free).
I definitely don't want my dad there, but maybe not even my mom....
Who attended your birth? Did it affect your progress?
It's my first baby, their first grandchild, and they live about 60 minutes from the hospital.
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No way - I didn't want anyone but DH. Fortunately, no one asked to be there.
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I had DH, my mom, and both MIL/FIL in the room with me pretty much the whole time. I found them invaluable when my epidural stopped working and I was struggling through transitional back labor...my own cheerleading squad, even as I just sat on the bed and didn't make a peep. I'm undecided about what we'll do for #2, but I don't regret having their support for #1.
You could always have the nurse kick them out if they insist on being in the room and you don't want them there
(or just have the nurse be the bad guy from the start...our L&D nurse quietly asked me more than once if I wanted her to kick them out...)
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Oh hells no. I didn't want any one there but my husband and the medical staff. I didn't even want anyone in the waiting room waiting for me to deliver. Too much stress and pressure.
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My parents were around once I got an epidural (would not have wanted them before that), and left for checks and when I started pushing. We texted when we were ready for them to come back. This was with my first. For my second, they had LO1, so they stayed at home until he was born.
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I'm not even sure if I want DH there to be honest...
I'm sort of worried about this though. It's the first grandkid on DH's side, and they traditionally show up in droves whenever anyone is in the hospital. The day DH had kidney surgery, I had 14 people to keep me company in the waiting room. It was not what I had imagined.
Will the hospital even allow that many people in the room?
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Definitely not for me. I do have friends whose moms have been in the room, but not something I would ever want. I didn't even want people in the waiting room!
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No haha I didn't even really want them in the waiting room! We told my parents and DH's parents we'd let them know when to head over (after the golden hour).
I'd be open to having my mom be in the room for the final pushing if she really wanted to share in the experience, but she was totally okay with just seeing us after. And actually, I needed her to stay with DD for DS's birth so it would've been "more" work having to arrange for other care.
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DH only, and even then I told him he was only allowed to stay if he wasn't a distraction and pulled his weight (it was a snowstorm and they were short staffed so he was an active participant). I told my mom weeks in advance that she couldn't be there and she was upset, but it was my medical event - and it was non-negotiable. In hind sight, I wish we waited longer to call everyone after my son's birth. Family all appeared before the medical staff could remove the epidural and I was stuck with it for 3 extra hours.
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nope. no way my dad, and there was a possibility my mom would have been there if DH couldn't, but definitely not all of us!
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I just had DH, which was what I wanted. My mum would have been very happy to be there but wasn't upset when I said I'd rather not. I think my dad would have been terrified if I had asked him! I think for me it was good having just DH, but in retrospect I think it would have been easier on him to have someone else there, especially someone who had given birth before! He was great but obviously worried, and he struggled to get me to let him stop rubbing my back long enough to eat anything!
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Oh God no. I have a great relationship with my parents, but no no no no no. Some things are private events and a human coming out of my body is one of those things.
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No way. The only people there were my DH and my bestie who happens to be a birth photographer @littlejoy
I recommend only considering what you want and will make you happy and comfortable- if your parents fit in there great. My Mom did not even ask. I just let her know what I was doing.
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We had a home birth ... no one was there besides us and our midwives. I knew that trying to achieve a med free birth, I needed as little distraction as possible.
I think it's the first decision (of many more to come) when you get to establish some loving guidelines about your new family. I hope they'll support you!
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No way. No one even asked. That said, my SIL had both of her parents and other family members in the delivery room (her cousin was also her OB).
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No, they were there for a while before I actually started pushing. They were distracting (not in a good way) before the epidural but fine afterwards. They waited in waiting room when I was pushing. I didn't think about them at all so I didn't feel pressured.
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Hell no. Wasn't even up for discussion, or brought up by my parents...they happily and patiently waited in the waiting room. Was just DH and about a million other medical staff.
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HECK NO. Just my DH.
And with my second, which was med-free, I actually shut the door on DH while I was in the tub and went through most of transition by myself. Of course, I wasn't expecting it to work out that way, but that's just what I needed at the time. Just myself and some music. I can't imagine having had anyone else there.
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Hell No!! I know for a fact my parents would have gotten in the way at DS (their first grandchild) birth! They weren't very supportive of my med free birth to begin with and I definitely didn't want them in the room when I was pushing! It was just DH and I and I couldn't have been any happier at how supportive DH was.
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No. I only wanted DH there. My mom wanted to be but I didn't care what anyone else wanted.
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Umm, no. Not a chance. I have a great relationship with my parents but there was no way anyone other than DH was going to be in my room with me!
As my mom always says... "Childbirth is not a spectator sport!" Totally on the same page there.
Also, I wanted to have at least an hour of skin to skin time immediately after birth - I did NOT want my baby being passed around during that time. I sort of feel though if others are in the room, they're going to expect to hold the baby fairly soon after birth.... Really, this is one of the few times in your life it is ok to be totally selfish - it is your first baby and you are well within your rights to want your child birthing experience and initial bonding moments with your baby to be between just you, your DH and your LO.
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Nope! And I am SO glad they weren't, although I wasn't very aware of what was going on, so I don't know that I would have noticed. But I did not want them there!
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I had DH, both of my sisters, and my mom. It was great having them all in there. It was my first and first grandchild on my side! What an amazing experience we will all never forget.
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We asked my mom to be there, so she was there for probably.. 4-5 hours of my labour and then an hour of pushing but I ended up in a csection so only my hubby was present for the birth.
This time she said she is more than happy to stay home with my toddler. We are attempting a VBAC and she said seeing me suffer was hard for her haha.
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NOPE. I did not even want anyone in the waiting room. The only person there was my husband. It also helps that I got to the hospital at 5:30 in the morning.
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Oh, hell no! The only family member with me was DH. No regrets! It was really wonderful to spend that first day and night alone with our daughter. Definitely plan to do the same with LO2!
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I had my mom & MIL. Neither asked to be there but we asked them early on if they would be and they were happy to be included. Not the first grandchild. MIL had been through labor with SIL twice and helped me when DH had surgery. I was confident she would be helpful and encouraging and she was. I knew I wanted my mom and that my dad would not want to be there until I was no longer in pain! He came to visit after it was over. FIL was in the waiting room and I honestly never even remembered he was there.
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Mine were all c sections so nope, just DH and a whole bunch of strangers getting ready to catch the babies.
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My dad excused himself. My mom didn't want to be originally, but ended up staying. I was totally cool with it (my sister was there too). I don't even care if my dad stayed. The room was big enough that it never felt crowded, and when in the intense moments, I just didn't care about anything anyway, as long as DH was right next to me.
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Nope! Just DH and our doula. Both families aren't close enough to be there anyways. My in laws didn't even know until LO arrived!
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Hell no! They were in the waiting room. DH and I both wanted it to be our moment.
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Thank you for your feedback!
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My dad wasn't but my mom was both times. The first time I had an epi and had my mom and DH. The second time I went med free and my mom, DH and best friend were there and I honestly don't know if I could have done it without the 3 of them.
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Nope, just me and dh and medical staff. I didn't want anyone waiting in the hospital or anything (which works well since I live 5 hours from my parents). I didn't even text my parents that I was in labor until 12 hours after it started.
Luckily no one ever expected to be present.
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My mom loves 2.5 hours away and by the time she got here and let our dog out I was in so much pain I only wanted DH. My mom has a TBI and I was concerned with how she'd handle seeing me in pain. Once they announced that i needed an emergency c/s I was too panicked to want anyone and it moved so fast.
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my mom drove from six hours away to come to the birth. i never wanted her to be in the room when i was actually pushing/giving birth. but i didn't mind if she was there from the beginning of labour contractions. My labour was taking forever and i just stopped caring if she was there or not so i thought to heck with it, i won't ask her to leave.....then i ended up needing a c section and so she couldn't be in the OR anyway.
for this one, i am feeling again that i only want DH in the room and i think my way out with my mom will be that we ask to watch LO1 at home until the baby is born. i hope it works, but i will feel bad just telling her that i don't want her there...
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No. I didn't even want them in the waiting room. Before I was pregnant my mom described how hard it was for them to sit in the waiting room when my SIL was being induced and nothing happened for 24 hours. That got in my head. It drove me nuts knowing they were in the waiting room and I was on day 2 of labor. I didn't deliver until I had heard that they went home.
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We love our family to pieces but NO WAY! I want it to be just me and DH, such a special moment for us!
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My mom was there (along with DH), & it was SO helpful for me to have had her there. I would NOT have wanted anyone else present for the birth, though. My ILs came to visit while I was still progressing & it quickly became annoying to hear them talking about everyday stuff while I was having contractions. I finally asked them to go out in the hall, so they ended up leaving, since they live near the hospital, which was better still.
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Throughout my entire pregnancy I kept saying I only wanted DH in the room while I was pushing. My mom was going to wait in the waiting room. When the time came i didn't care. My mom and my sister (sister came with her as a surprise, they had to drive three hours) were in the room while I was pushing. I am so grateful they were there because I needed all the support I could get. I pushed for three hours. It was a really great experience for all of us. And my mom and sister pretty much left the room once I had the baby in my arms (after snapping a couple pics) so DH and I could have some time alone. It was perfect.
(or just have the nurse be the bad guy from the start...our L&D nurse quietly asked me more than once if I wanted her to kick them out...)
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