Hellobee Boards

My son NEEDS a strict schedule, WANTS to sleep on his own IN his crib, and HAD to be sleeptrained because he was absolutely sleep deprived and exhausted since birth because of various conditions. If he is on schedule and well rested he is a gem. If not he is a screaming psychopath so we are slaves to his schedule. For most of his first year I rarely went out with him and only for like an hour. People thought DH and I were absolutely nuts and we have constantly heard "good luck when you have another kid" or "we could never do that - we have lives to live" or "we never had schedules, our babies just slept wherever, whenever." Or that we are barbaric parents for CIO or not cosleeping or whatever. And links to gentle parenting and all that jazz. What kills me is everyone tells me what a happy, good natured boy we have and that he is never misbehaved and he is so sweet and that we must be very lucky. No, we worked our asses off to give my son good rest.

So far just unsolicited advice on gear. It's as if noone considers that our tastes and budget may be way different. I much rather come on HB and ask all my gear questions. It's sometimes hard to bite my tongue on the IRL gear suggestions. Just no!

@Foodnerd81: Surely its easier to have two in nappies than to have a toddler asking to be taken to the toilet every ten minutes when you're trying to nurse a newborn??

@Cherrybee: much easier--that's why I still haven't attempted to PT LO 1 yet!

@PrincessBaby: Sorry, I do that (and I hate it when I do it!).

Ugh, advice about work/parenting balance. The only time I've almost completely lost it on someone was when they told me I should quit my job and stay home with LO. As a family, we've worked hard to create a balance that meets everyone's needs, including LO's. So a big F-U to anyone who tells me that I'm doing it wrong.

@Mrs. Sunshine: Yes! The discipline advice in the south is horrifying.

I hate unsolicited advice in general (I grew up with a MAJOR control freak for a mom, so telling me what to do usually causes me to overreact, though I'm working on it), but the stuff FIL comes up with pisses me off the most. He's the one whose "advice" before LO was born was "a belt works" and who said not to stop cutting her nails of she was squirmy, because if we cut her it would toughen her up (as a newborn!). And he's told DH more times than I can count not to hold her too much because she'll get spoiled, starting when she was in the nicu. I'm REALLY dreading dealing with him once he realizes we not only won't be spanking, but will be skipping punitive discipline entirely.

I hate retrospective birth advice: "oh a vaginal birth would have been better because it colonises the baby's gastrointestinal tract!" Thanks, I didn't want a c section in the first place and you're making me feel much better.

I agree with others on 'just you wait' + ️ smug face - infuriates me! It's like hey my kid is not a clone of yours, so you actually don't know everything about everything.

@Foodnerd81: Yep. This is why DS was potty trained when DD was 3 months old, not when I was in the third trimester like my silly pediatrician suggested.

Umm all of it, especially for the older child! With the second I find it easier to let it roll off my back.

@gingerbebe: I could have written your post word for word.

Anything that starts with "you just wait..." Shut the eff up you know-it-all and let me enjoy this part of my life without you warning me how much the next part is going to suck/be worse/whatever Debbie downer has to say.