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What are your personal rules on leaving a baby "alone"?

  1. stiletto_mom

    persimmon / 1183 posts

    @Maysprout: By that logic, anything at anytime could happen. You can be in the same room and your child has an accident that you couldn't prevent.

    I'm sure all your comfort levels are different than mine. I doubt it will change after the birth of my child and thats a sort of response is meant to shut down the dialogue (same as pulling the "I'm older than you" or "you'll change your mind when you have kids" line of reasoning) than actually exploring each others "lines and rules" with an open mind.

    First person experiences don't do much to convince me of much. For every incident you can name, there are instances where it was fine.

    @Mrs. Pickle: hence why I mentioned earlier that it depends on age. Laws are a different topic altogether and citing law as a reason not to do something is not necessarily compelling on its own. It's against the law to peel and orange in a tub in Cali, so.

    @ShootingStar: See above.

  2. Maysprout

    grapefruit / 4800 posts

    @stiletto_mom: do you really not see the difference between 10 minutes and a few seconds if an accident or something unexpected happens?
    Sharing experiences is kind of what HB is about, it's not at all to shut down conversation, not every topic has an extensive study, so parents share experiences. Though I'd put money on what your pediatrician would say if that's what you're looking for.

  3. Mrs. Pickle

    blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts

    @stiletto_mom: that's true. People break laws all the time.

  4. stiletto_mom

    persimmon / 1183 posts

    @Maysprout: I think the line between what is reasonable and what isn't depends on the person. But throwing around "gross negligence" (not talking about you specifically) is rather dramatic, in my opinion. If you'd rather not leave your child for 10 minutes, that's fine. I'm okay with that. It would depend on the age, but both my husband and I agree. We also have other unpopular opinions, but they are just that, parenting opinions. So while you think I maybe "careless or reckless", I have my judgments on the other side about that kind of mindset. *shrug* To each their own.

    @Mrs. Pickle: Yes, that's a great method of debate. Really productive.

  5. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    Mailbox or yard, but basically within monitor/sound range.

  6. Mrs. Sketchbook

    GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts

    I weed or play with the 3 year old in the yard while 1 year old naps, no monitor. I can actually hear him crying from the garden. Plus he consistently sleeps 1+ hrs so even if he did wake I might let him fuss it out anyway if I were inside.

    I have left my 1 and 3 year olds in cars while I went to an ATM, ran into a doctor office to pick up some paperwork, and at the farm stand to pick up groceries.

  7. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    I think there is a difference here too between "being 10 minutes away" and "being gone for 10 minutes".

  8. charlotte

    kiwi / 706 posts


    This comment has been deleted by the original poster.

  9. meganmp

    persimmon / 1420 posts

    I'm pretty lax, I feel, usually, but a bit more strict with myself in this area. I regularly garden while they're asleep, and I take out the trash while they're awake. I walked the dog around the block once, but it made me so uncomfortable I never did it again (we live in single family home, not an apartment with stairs). I'll leave them in the car to pick up the dog from doggy daycare, but I can see the car the entire time, and am no more than 30 feet from it.

  10. Bubbles

    persimmon / 1328 posts

    I will go in the garden with the monitor very happily. In our old flat the monitor would easily have reached various shops downstairs and I was tempted but could never do it, it didn't feel right to leave the building. I did used to have to always leave DS in his cot / bedroom while I went back downstairs to get the pram though.

  11. Ms maths

    apricot / 343 posts

    I regularly work in the backyard when one or both kids are sleeping, without a monitor. I pop inside every 15 minutes or so to see if they are awake. I also occasionally walk up and down the block with one kid while the other is sleeping, keeping the house in sight.

    I'm not comfortable going out of sight of the house, but I wouldn't think it was a big deal for another parent to do it.

    I recall a conversation among parents where one parent was debating leaving a sleeping child to pick up her mother at the bus station. None of the parents seemed to think it was a big deal.

  12. Madison43

    persimmon / 1483 posts

    I don't really consider it leaving my kids "alone" if I'm on my property with a video monitor on. I might feel differently if we had a lot of land but we definite do not. We regularly garden and hang out outside while they are sleeping and it never occured to me that it would be a big deal. On the flip side, when we lived in NYC, I wouldn't leave my floor while they were sleeping. I guess the difference to me was that there were other people in my apartment building and one locked door between them and my kids wasn't enough for me to trust that something crazy wouldn't happen.

  13. josina

    pomegranate / 3973 posts

    I will often go outside while DS naps (and can hear him if he cries). If I need to, I will bring the monitor out with the volume up as extra assurance.
    The most I've left him in the car is to pay for gas when he is 15 ft. from the door and in direct sight, and I've only done that once or twice. (We live in a rural area and I can feel safe doing so).

    As far as leaving for 10 minutes to go to a store... no, I wouldn't be comfortable doing it.

  14. SLR

    clementine / 824 posts

    As far as my monitor will reach, which is in the neighbor's yard. I did mow their yard during a nap the other day (while they were on vacation) and found a few spots the monitor wouldn't reach.

  15. littlebug

    honeydew / 7504 posts

    It seems to me that what @stiletto_mom: posted was being away for 10 minutes, not being 10 minutes away. Big difference there. I've spent entire 2-hour nap periods outside in our yard gardening. Usually with the monitor stationed within a few feet and turned up, but I don't always have it on my person.

  16. Coffee-lover

    apricot / 340 posts

    I live in a 3rd story apt and have a video monitor. I never leave, even to get the mail or take the trash downstairs. Im too scared it would take too long to get upstairs if my baby needed me, or if there was a fire or earthquake that I wouldnt be able to get back up.

    If I lived in a single family home I would feel ok being on the porch or in the yard with the video monitor.

  17. JenGirl

    clementine / 756 posts

    @SweetiePie: For what it's worth, I'd be comfortable going to a friend's apartment that was two doors down, as long as the video monitor reached and I could get back to the apartment quickly if needed. I see it as no different than being in the other end of a large house, being in a basement, or being in a yard.

    I've done something similar when we travel with friends - we'll get two hotel rooms next to each other or across the hall from each other and put the kids to sleep in one room with a monitor and socialize in the other room.

  18. Umbreon

    clementine / 854 posts

    I don't see a problem going outside in your yard, if you have a baby monitor handy. I do see a problem going to other public places, even if they're across the street. Like someone pointed out, what if there was a fire? Yes, a fire could happen in one room of a house while you're in another, but at least you'd have the opportunity to put the fire out or do what you can do get to your baby.
    If you run across the street for a coffee, what if a robbery happened? And you weren't allowed to leave the premises until the police took statements from all witnesses? It's not worth that cup of coffee in my mind.

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