I hear people say "Oh, it was a difficult labor," and I want to know what that means. It is subjective, or is there some kind of cut-off for what is "difficult?"
Is it based on the mom, or the doctor/midwife's perception of the birth?
And... do you consider that you had a difficult labor?
40 votes
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Good questions, I don't know since I haven't been through it but have always wondered this myself!
pomegranate / 3008 posts
I would assume it is mostly perception. When I hear people say they had a difficult labor it was usually due to length of time laboring and/or pushing, epidural failure, emergency c-section, other medical emergency (breaking hips or something, shoulder distocia), etc. I had an easy labor and I classify it that way because it was quite fast, everything went smooth, no moments where we were unsure if things were going to take a turn for the worst, etc.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@pelikila: Ok. That makes sense. When I was at the lactation consultant at the hospital last week she said "Oh, you were the one with the difficult labor." And I thought, well, of course *I* thought it was difficult, but I figured in the hospital it would be considered "normal." I was in labor for 27 hours and then they did a "non emergency" c-section due to fetal heart rate/distress and me spiking a fever (since my water broke well before labor, that was a concern for infection).
It wasn't all that painful, but it was extremely frustrating because of how slow everything progressed. AND I was so close to delivering vaginally, I was bummed about the c-section. Still... I'd say it was not a difficult labor, physically. It was difficult emotionally.
coconut / 8305 posts
Definitely perception. I feel my labor with DS was difficult because I was stuck in a bed & subjected to multiple unnecessary interventiins that led to a cesarean. With DD I had a tremendously looooong labor but don't consider it to have been "difficult" at all. Many moms have told me they feel/felt bad for me bc the length but really it was bad bc I was able to labor in a place & way that allowed me to work with my body & move to accommodate what was most comfortable in that moment... To me it was a great birth experience. 
nectarine / 2039 posts
@pastemoo: I agree that we might figure out how difficult it was based on what the nurses/professionals comment. For me, they commented on how fast I went, so even though it was no walk in the park, I will say it is considered 'not difficult'. (Still the hardest thing I've ever done physically....yes, even harder than the kidney stone).
squash / 13199 posts
I think a difficult labor is one that doesnt go smoothly and according to plan. I class mine as difficult because I had to be induced due to low fluid and after a failed induction I had to have a c-section
kiwi / 691 posts
I think it's usually based on the mother's perception, or how your doctor/nurse label it, unless it's really extreme thing, like my friend who had to have an emergency c-section without any anesthesia).
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
24 hour labor, spiked a fever, 3 epidural failures (resulting in getting 3 separate epidurals), the second failure happening during transition, 3 hours of pushing without crowning, vacuum assisted delivery. I had a difficult labor.
Oh and I had membranes and possibly a piece of placenta left inside me which started coming out 2 weeks later so I had to start the recovery process all over again and take drugs to make my uterus contract down as quickly as possible. So I had a difficult recovery too.
Badges of mommy honor!!! I wear them proudly!!!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@pointybird: oh my GOD. that is my worst nightmare realized!!!!!!!!
grape / 86 posts
My labor was pretty quick and although I pushed for 2.5 hrs, had no pain medication, and ended up needing the vacuum I don't consider it a difficult labor... I think it could have been much more difficult.
kiwi / 691 posts
@mrs. wagon: It was horrendous. The most unbelievable part to me was that she went on to have two more babies! I would have closed up the baby shop right then and there.
coconut / 8279 posts
I had a 'difficult' labor - pre-e, baby was sunny side up and stuck so I needed a vacuum/mediolateral episiotomy (cut sideways). We both spiked fevers, so we're IV'd for 48 hours after. But honestly with the epidural I could push & do everything I needed to. The only difficulty on my end was healing.
grape / 86 posts
@pointybird- holy hell I didn't even realize they would do that! Crazzzzzzy ...
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@pointybird: why oh why didn't they give her anesthesia?!? they could have at least put her under if they didn't have time for a spinal...?!?!
kiwi / 691 posts
@mrs. wagon, @WiLLoWtReE: It was crazy! It was one of those life or death, must get the baby out NOW kind of deals, and I think it just happened really, really fast. And I'm sure they were pumping her full of drugs as they were doing it!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@pointybird: oh my god. That's awful. Poor thing.
My MIL was put under for both her c-sections and she felt everything, but couldn't talk to let anyone know that she was feeling everything. She was totally traumatized and won't go under general anesthesia for anything now!
clementine / 916 posts
I agree it's perception as well but also think there are varying degrees. I had some complications along the way with little one's heart rate, meconium, a wrapped cord and narrowly avoided an emergency c-section yet all in all labor was really quick so I consider my labor to have been somewhat difficult, but not in comparison to others'.
I would absolutely consider your labor experience to be a difficult one 
Traumatic even.
grapefruit / 4823 posts
I never really thought about whether or not mine was difficult, by considering when I tell people about it, they say 'you poor dear' they must consider it difficult. Body making no progress(no dilation/contractions), needed to be induced, 2 times the baby's heart rate dropped when I got up, concern that the cord was wrapped around him, meconium, the epidural not being administered for 1 1/2 hours after I requested it, baby's heart dropped and didn't really recover that quickly/great after the epidural, uncontrolable shaking once I received the epidural and still zero progress I ended u having a c-section. I can laugh about it now, but i guess some people would consider that difficult
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
Fascinating! And scary--some of these labor stories sound really tough! AND some sound just like mine... next time I am definitely getting a doula.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I think it would be if there are complications, if it was crazy long, etc. I don't think any labor isn't difficult, but I think some are more difficult than others.
DH always tells people that I had an easy labor. And of course I always give him a look and tell him I'd like to see him push my LO out and then say how easy it was. But I know he just means that there were no complications and it was relatively quick. I had to push for an hour. It could have been much, much worse.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I would say mostly perception, however I had a few people say I had a difficult labor. I thought it was traumatic at best!
I had to be induced because I was pre-eclamptic. Once labor started, it was only 4 hours, but it was hell on earth. I felt like I was dying a slow, painful and cruel death. It was the most awful thing I've ever experienced. I was in a ton of pain. My mom said it was awful too, and my husband had a really hard time watching.
I threw up with every contraction, I wasn't allowed to move during labor because of my blood pressure, during delivery I tore in three places, my son turned blue on my chest, and immediately after I passed out and my blood pressure plummeted.
So yeah, I think it was difficult. All that without pain meds lol 
cherry / 237 posts
Mine was difficult in that we got stuck at 7cm for several hours and were about 15 minutes away from transferring to the hospital (most likely for a c-section, but super luckily none of that was necessary). I also never built up to the "hard" contractions; I more or less started out at contractions at least a minute long and less than a minute apart, and stayed there all day. BUT I got through it like a badass, managed to avoid interventions and medications, and felt totally powerful and in control for all but about two hours. I've learned to like and appreciate difficult things over the years. 
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I had an easy labor imo. Start to finish was 12 hours. Epidural didn't fail, I pushed for 2 hours and had 3rd degree tears, but don't think it was a big deal compared to the scary stories I've heard (what everyone else said above!)
pomegranate / 3388 posts
I was in labor for 3 days before DD was born. I guess it was technically "prodromal" labor, but most of it felt like active labor to me! ...so yes, I'd say it was incredibly difficult. I didn't sleep in more than 10 minute chunks for 3 nights in a row!
pineapple / 12526 posts
I think it's perception too.
I consider my labor difficult, even traumatic. My water broke 45 hours before she was born but my body never went into labor. I had to be induced. I had 2 failed epidurals. I labored for 13 hours, on Pitocin and no pain relief with a baby I later found out had her head crooked in the birth canal. My contractions didn't have a break for 13 hours. I pushed for an hour and a half before they told me to stop because I needed forceps. They left me, in horrible pain, for 6 HOURS before they took me into the operating theatre. I had an episiotomy and forceps, then shoulder dystocia. She came out blue and not breathing and it took the nurses several minutes to get her to cry. Then I had a postpartum hemorrhage and lost a ton of blood. We both spiked a fever and needed IV antibiotics along with a blood transfusion for me. Then LO's blood markers came back high, so she needed 3 more days of antibiotics as well as a lumbar puncture to test for brain infection. Add all that on top of sitting in a ward with 5 other women for 5 days and my soul-crushing failure to breastfeed in that first few days and PPD that immediately set in.... Yeah, it was a good time.
Then 2 weeks later, I got a uterine infection from them leaving a bit of tissue in there and spent another 4 days in the hospital and got an emergency D&C.
kiwi / 549 posts
wow. Mine was no c-section without anesthesia type story... I feel like anything compared to that is easy. Mine was 37 hour total for labor (I'm counting from when the contractions started to hurt & come 6 minutes apart to the time baby came out), meconium, heart rate dropping to 80 and not recovering, head just twisted in the canal enough to get stuck behind my pubic bones, 3 hours of pushing (which baby didn't handle well, hence the heart rate drop)... I was so tired and so in the zone that I had no idea just how bad it was & I didn't know how low Baby X's heart rate dropped, so if I didn't think it was so awful at the time, can I really call it difficult? My MIL (who was there) says it was traumatic. Ha. I just think it was intense, like all other childbirth.
kiwi / 549 posts
@zippylef: OMG. THAT is a traumatic birth. A friend of mine said I should guilt-trip Baby X in the future for pooping inside me. To her, I will now say, "No, let me tell you about another child who owes his or her mama BIG TIME..."
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Definitely perception. And I perceived my labor as difficult. I'm hoping to not be able to say that the next time!
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